Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by s43, Jan 20, 2003.

  1. s43

    s43 New Member

    How many of you are told that you look well with this dd,thats why i think a lot of your family,friends,neighbours dont understand how ill we are.Sometimes we dont look ill,or is it that we just accept what is thrown at us with this dd.Just a thought LUV SHARON
  2. lin21

    lin21 New Member

    Hi Sharon,

    I was recently diagnosed and the few times I've been with friends they have told me how wonderful I look. Well, now I know there is definitely a big difference between looking good and feeling good.
    I'm also dealing with so called friends thinking if I do everything I need to do I will get better. Needless to say many of those people will not be in my life any longer. I have enough dealing with this DD, I don't need to feel like I have to defend myself or my actions.

    Feel good.
  3. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member

    I have been told by some that I look great - really I think it is just that they are seeing me on a good day..
    But really, I see a lot of people about 2-3x weekly when I go to visit my Mom at the nursing home, and many of them will ask if I'm OK, they say I look so tired all the time - and instead of getting into anything with them, I just respond and say - "that's my normal look"..
    The other week when I talked to my mother, and said I couldn't come in because of the way I was feeling she said, "Well, you don't look sick" - I just left it go because she is the type, if she doesn't have it, no one else can have that same problem..
    Take Care...........Donna
  4. tandy

    tandy New Member

    "You look tired"alot. Sometimes if i'm cranky,I'll say "yeah I am,and gee you look tired too"Are you OK?
    Cause I hate it when people say I look tired,to me thats a nice way of saying"you look like sh**!
  5. Lendi

    Lendi New Member

    about me. But, when I had a disagreement with my boss last week, she patted me on the shoulder and said "you're tired, aren't you". Thay made me so angry. I had a valid point that I was making, but she made me feel like a cranky toddler that needed a nap. Most of the time my friends and family can tell when I'm having a good day or a bad one because my eyes get glazed over when it's a bad one. Someone said my hair even droops when it's a bad day. LOL They seem to be a lot more common than the good ones, now. I hate this DD.
    Hoping for a good day for all,
  6. karen55

    karen55 New Member

    I feel the same way. My sister was saying that to me for a couple of years before I had a dx. She even told me that since I was looking so "tired" all the time, it made me look older!
  7. tandy

    tandy New Member

    Can you stand the brassiness of some people!!? I would never,out of the blue say to anyone"you look tired,or sickly". I suppose if a person was complaining of not feeling well....I might say something if they asked me~
    but to just come out with that,thats rude to me!!And I do take offense!Maybe I should'nt???
    Wondering how others take to this??
  8. joannie1

    joannie1 New Member

    I get so mad when the people who have known me for years say Honey, you are looking good these days. I get so mad, come on. I see it like this they only try to make me feel better when it only makes me worse. It was never an issue before about looking good. I never had to be told before and yet now they think it will help. I think they do it of course out of caring but it only makes me more self contious Spelling sorry. I know that I have terribly pailed skin that is all blotchy thanks to cortisone and my eyes look like they are black and blue every day as if I was beaten up. I just some times wish they would not try to make an issue of my looks because i have always been very big on keeping myself looking well and it doesn't happen anymore. No matter how much make up you apply i still believe your eyes can not tell a lie, or at least mine can't.
  9. sofy

    sofy New Member

    my line is "Im the healthiest sick person you know"
    All the tests come back and say I'm fine but since I cant stay awake there is a problem. I saw it with wry humor and it works for me.
  10. s43

    s43 New Member

    I think looking at the replies i have had everybody feels the same as i do.I will remember that saying in future that sofy quoted IM THE HEALTHIEST SICK PERSON YOU KNOW. TAKE CARE SHARON
  11. laurakay

    laurakay New Member

    I hear this a lot and it is nice to hear, but at the same time people don't understand that I can't work 40 hours a week and then spend all weekend remodeling my house while chasing a kid and making brunch for 10!! I don't talk to most of my family about it because they won't understand. My close friends and my husband and co-workers who see me every day know better what I go through. If it someone who doesn't know about the FM, I just let it go and let them think that everything is peachy unless they ask otherwise. My mom can tell when I'm tired and icky, but most other people can't, and that's just how it's going to be, I guess!
  12. s43

    s43 New Member

    as someone once told me FIBRO HAS NO AGE IT ATTACKS ANYONE YOUNG OR OLD although i dont know of anyone old who has this dd,it seems to attack the young and middle age,i suppose there are old folk suffering but put it down to old age.REGARDS SHARON by the way are there any folk on this site in there 70s or 80s i wonder.
  13. lmn

    lmn New Member

    people actually think I'm 30ish, and I'm 41! Occasionally friends will say I look tired, but that's it. I haven't told anyone other than my closest friends and my immediate family about this DD. I guess it's because I don't want to be judged or pitied.
  14. CAgirl

    CAgirl New Member

    I've been told how good I look. I guess that is supposed to make me feel better. It actually makes me feel worse. I wish people could see my pain. I wish the part of my body that hurts would start to seep blood. Or maybe bumps could break out all over it. Then I could point and say, "see this is where it is hurting so bad, doesn't it look awful?"
  15. LauraLea

    LauraLea New Member

    The old saying "but you look so well" unless I am a 9 or 10 on the pain metor, usually my husband is the only one who can tell if I'm in pain. He know the little signs.
  16. s43

    s43 New Member

    IT IS BECAUSE THERE IS NO APPARENT SIGN OF THIS ILLNESS THAT PEOPLE CANT SEE HOW MUCH YOU ARE SUFFEREING.IT WAS JUST SOMETHING MY HUSBAND SAIDTO ME LAST WEEK.I WASHAVING A TERRIBLE WEEK REALLY BAD FLARE,MY EYES ALWAYS GIVE ME AWAY WHEN I AM IN A FLARE,BUT HE JUST SAID ONE DAY he knew how much i was in pain but to someone who didnt see me often i wouldnt look any different,not that i was looking for sympathy of people its just that they think you are putting it on. sorry for the caps LUV SHARON