Loosing the battle

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by janiemac, Feb 8, 2006.

  1. janiemac

    janiemac New Member

    I can't believe I am back to this spot again. After quitting the last job I loved because of this DD, I may have to quit another. I am struggling to maintain but can only manage by taking narcotics to get to and from work every day. I know I can't go on like this much longer and the Fibro & CFIDS is making me so stupid. I finaly went to see a counseler and cried the whole time. I can't afford to loose my job and am sooo tired of fighting. I want to have a life !!!!
    I know what choices I need to make, why can't I do it? Help --I need some advice. My co workers have no idea what is going on so it;s going to be a huge shock. I just can't seems to get the job done without going back over and over. They wonder why I look like I am going to sleep all the time. They know I have this disease but have no clue what I am dealing with. I look fine, how hard can it be to do a secretary job????
    Fear is a terrible thing. I know I need to take a leave or quit or something but I have no idea where to start, I just want to go to bed ......

  2. neen85

    neen85 New Member

    You sound as overwhelmed as I am right now,only I have a whole different set of problems. I wish I could offer some advice. I was 3 weeks away from graduating and in my clinicals when my body just would not let me go on.

    I slept all but an hour a day for about a year. I tried to go back to school,but my body put me back in bed,so I really didn't have any choice or decision to make. I so feel for those of you that do have to make that decision. I have heard many say that they wish they had left the workforce earlier and not completely run themselves into the ground before making the decision.

    I hope someone who has recently made the decision will reply. Hugs, Daneen
  3. Bailey-smom

    Bailey-smom New Member

    I actually give my notice last week and am going through the same feelings as you. Help! Under a lot of stress! is the title of my post. You can get to it through my profile.

    Good luck!
  4. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    You may feel like you are losing the battle but you are definitely not losing the war!! For what it's worth here, my advice is to listen to your body. None of us want to quit our jobs but many of us have had to do that. We all want to have a life. I's a difficult road to acceptance.

    I hope you have a good Doctor,if not, find one. There is hope as you will see in the many people on this board who are improving. Give your body some rest and take the time to research the things that are helping other people.

    It is not easy, I know and I'm sorry that you are at this point. Seeing a counsellor is an excellent idea. Perhaps that will help you figure out what's best. Remember you are not alone.

  5. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    some breathing space. I could not work right now for sure. I will again one day, but right now, it is just too much pain and tiredess.

    Listen to your health, you may need to try and get on DD. I cannot as I am not US CItizen, but would if I could, even for a short while.

    Would you qualify for Unemployment?

    Also, I cannot recall your job but think it is some sort of accounting, maybe you need to be doing something that is more mindless?

    Sorry for you though, it has to be hard.

    Love Anne
  6. sarahann61

    sarahann61 New Member

    I had to finally ,make the decision to give up nursing .. I did try several diff. types of jobs. I wasn't physically, mentally, or emotionally, able to do.

    I think, when I was struggling just to get through the day. I wasn't cheerful, and joyfull... I would just zoom in on the task, that had to be done, and try to get it all done.. So, I think I was labled unfriendly, and pessimistic...

    I did not talk about my problems, guess I took it, everyone understood....They didn't.........

    I hope that your boss will work with you and help you through this... Or, you can get help somewhere else... I am 62 and now drawing my disability, just qualified for, Medicare.........
  7. janiemac

    janiemac New Member

    I appreciate all the replies. I am going to try to get though this week and go talk to my docotr. I feel asleep at my desk sitting up !!!! Argghhh I am so embarassed.
    Not the best thing for an executive secretary. You all have traveled this territory that is uncharted for me. I have never even wanted to consider disability because I thought it would be giving in, but I honesty feel like I am at the end of my rope. Even my counselor wondered why I kkep pushing on and don't stop to rest a while. I love my job and the people I work with !! It's a lot to give up even temporarily. I guess I am scared that if I take a break, I will loose it all and financially I can't handle that.

  8. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    I was also on narcotics at one time - MS Contin, which I could not tolerate.

    My pain specialist here in California put me on Subutex (a year ago) which has helped the fibro pain alot. I am down to a 1-2 on pain with only Subutex and one Tylenol Gel Cap each day.

    I am happy to give you the name of my doctor here in CA - if you want to get information on Subutex to give to your own doctor.

    Subutex has many uses - it is also used to help you stop opiates with no withdrawals - but it also treats pain. You dissolve it under your tongue 4X day. The good thing about Subutex is, there is no issue of developing "tolerance" like with opiate pain meds.

    My doctor said they don't know exactly how it works to control pain, but it does and it much easier to stop than opiates.

    For me to get better the first step was to get the pain under control. Then I had to address stress issues.

    The good thing is, you can completely stop the opiates then go on a maintenance dose of Subutex to control your pain. That is what I did.

    I was on MS Contin and so afraid to stop it. I started the Subutex and did just fine.

    Sorry if my post is rambling...

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