losin' it

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by aqua44marine, Nov 18, 2002.

  1. aqua44marine

    aqua44marine New Member

    hi-
    I just needed to find someone to talk to who understands what this is like. I have been sick for over as yr.and i think today is my worst day ever. I was diagnosed (reluctantely "who knows..." " no one knows about this.." "whats it matter anyway if I diagnose you cause theres nothing to do for it?") after 10 mo. and then after that diagnosis he decided he didnt want to see me. I am doctorless. I have a psychiatrist but he forgets to show up for appts, then falls asleep all through them so all we do is fight when i see him every three months.
    i think the worst part is that i wanted to begin scuba diving and rollerblade dancing so i wouldnt be depressed and find i can not exercise without wiping myseldf out for days.I recently started going out with someone who goes to the gym every day rollerblades one entire night of the week and one entire day and stays up till 4-5 every morning. I really like him, but I am worn out and cant figure out after only 1 1/2 months how to tell him i have this. i dont even believe it myself. the people who told me i had it went away ands so it seems bizzarre like a bad dream i remember when i get exhausted. can someone please talk to me?
  2. aqua44marine

    aqua44marine New Member

    hi-
    I just needed to find someone to talk to who understands what this is like. I have been sick for over as yr.and i think today is my worst day ever. I was diagnosed (reluctantely "who knows..." " no one knows about this.." "whats it matter anyway if I diagnose you cause theres nothing to do for it?") after 10 mo. and then after that diagnosis he decided he didnt want to see me. I am doctorless. I have a psychiatrist but he forgets to show up for appts, then falls asleep all through them so all we do is fight when i see him every three months.
    i think the worst part is that i wanted to begin scuba diving and rollerblade dancing so i wouldnt be depressed and find i can not exercise without wiping myseldf out for days.I recently started going out with someone who goes to the gym every day rollerblades one entire night of the week and one entire day and stays up till 4-5 every morning. I really like him, but I am worn out and cant figure out after only 1 1/2 months how to tell him i have this. i dont even believe it myself. the people who told me i had it went away ands so it seems bizzarre like a bad dream i remember when i get exhausted. can someone please talk to me?
  3. maleficent4310

    maleficent4310 New Member

    I know what it is like. I spent 4 and a half years in and out of Drs offices and emegancy rooms. The massive pain started in my hands and has spread to just about every joint in my body (even joints i did not know I had). On top of the joint pain, the stomach problems. If your stomach can mess up in a way, then mine has done it. I was told I was nuts, take some pepto, you just need a b12 injection every month for the rest of your life, and your just depressed. No one wanted to take a 23-27 year old seriously about pain. I was too young you know. I just tried new Drs until I found one that wanted to help me. Now I know I am not crazy. I have fibro. Just having a name for it helps a little bit. I do hate being 27 and feeling like I am 65. My husband is trying to understand, but is not ready to except that I am sick and will never get better. I am not sure what my mom thinks about it. She asks how I am doing and stuff, but I don't think she realizes how much pain I am in. I have days that I cant hold a pen or the stearing wheel on my car. Days that I need to fight myself to get out of bed so my son can get to school. You are so not alone.

    As far as this guy you are seeing. If you really like him, then you need to let him know. It is better to know now then 6 months from now when you are very serious about oneanother and then he cant handle it. It is less stress for you to find out if he can before it goes too far.

    And your theropist! Say good by to that jerk! You need someone who will listen to you. You may go through a few more before you find the right one for you, but this one is not the right one. You should not be fighting with the person that is helping you in that way all the time. It is a very sacred relationship, but it does not sound like he is looking at it that way.

    I hope I was a little bit of help. I would love to talk somemore. Send me a post anytime. I will find it.
    Lisa
  4. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Welcome to the group. I must have been sick when you joined, so heres a belated welcome.

    You sound like you need a good doctor, that is a terrible way to treat someone, but it is not common with these two illnesses. What have you been diagnosed with? Fibro or CFS?

    As for your friend, you need to tell him the truth about how you physical health is, you are not helping yourself with the pace he is setting!

    I can remember those goodtimes too, but I am afraid they are not worth the repercussions these days.

    I sure hope you fine some serious help soon, and feel free to come here anytime you want too. Looking forward to getting to know you.

    Shalom, Shirl




    [This Message was Edited on 11/18/2002]
  5. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    Be true to yourself and know that it is YOU that will suffer if you keep up someone else's pace and not your own. This was (is) the hardest lesson for me and I have been sick with "something" since 1974 when I had my first baby....I was only 17 and I had been a cheerleader months prior. I had NEVER been to a doctor all throughout high school and I'd NEVER been out sick~~not a day! This illness creeps up on us like a thief in the night and robs us of our joy....for awhile.....if you let it. I did because of the sheer exhaustion and pain. I know they say this isn't "progressive", but it has sure seemed like it to me. Maybe I should just say that the symptoms have changed over the years. What I used to experience was just replaced by other problems and age hasn't helped my tolerance a bit. It was hard to be heard when I was young and beautiful~~~now that I am older and I look like a tired old dog with my butt dragging, they take a look at me and say "Damn, she looks awful, she MUST be sick!" Maybe your problem is that you're still just too young and beautiful!!! PLEASE, find a rheumatologist.....this should help you better than a crook who takes your money while he naps. If you don't report him, you'll be enabling him to continue this treachery!!! It feels so good to report an inept doctor~~~I've done it. They make mega-bucks and get a God-complex just because of that degree, so don't let them get away with mistreating you!!!
    Be informed and make wise choices and DON'T let them get away with misdiagnosing you and belittling what you feel. Pain is real to the person experiencing it. We should NEVER be in a position to judge the validity of another person's distress. It is what it is and that's all there is to it!!!! I believe you.....you deserve to be as comfortable as possible and don't dare start a relationship with a loved one based on a lie~~~he HAS to know ALL about your issues if he is to be a mate to you. You need to know if a potential mate will support you emotionally if not financially when the going gets rough~~~and it does at times with this "syndrome" as they like to call it. I think that term belies something less serious that what we suffer from, don't you?
    Be smart, girl and may God Bless you!
    With love,
    Kady
  6. aqua44marine

    aqua44marine New Member

    i HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME WITH THIS WHATEVER. A FEW PEOPLE ASKED ME WHAT I WAS DIGNOSED WITH AND ONE DOCTOR SAID CF ONLY AND HE SENT ME TO A RHEUM WHO SAID FIB ONLY AND THEN THEY BOTH ARE NO LONGER SEEING ME FOR REASONS UNKNOWN. IM ASHAMED MY DOTOR DOESNT WANT TO TREAT ME, HE SAID ONCE IT WAS JUST TOO COMPLICATED AND MESSY THAT I WAS DEPRESSED ANXIOUS,ACHED IN MY JOINTS HAD LOW BLOOD PRESSURE, MITRO VALVE PROLAPSE, ibs AND WAS HAVING NIGHT SWEATS TERRIBLY BAD AND HAVING HORMONAL IMBALNCES AND SO PROBABLY WAS GOING THRU MENOPAUSE. HE SAID HE COULDNT TELL WHICH WAS WHICH.
    WHAT MAKES ME SO ASHAMED IS THAT I AM 44 AND VERYU GOODLOOKING AND INTELLIGENT AND FUNNY AND I DONT WANT PEOPLE TO THINK IM THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO WANTS TO SITY AROUND AND BITCH AND BE UNHAPPY AND SEE DOCOTRS FOR FUN. I WANT TO ROLLERBLADE AND SCUBA DIVE AND GO OUT ON DATES.
    I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GO LOOKING FOR DOCTORS WHEN I GOT A LETTER SAYING MY SSI WAS BEING CANCELLED UNLESS I PROVE I HAD LIVED IN POVERTY FOR 4 YRS. AND I HAVENT. SO I GOT SO UPSET LAST NIGHT I THREW EVERY PAPER ABPOUT ME EXCEPT MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE AWAY. I JUST FEEL; LIKE IT IS OVER NOW. I CANT AFFORD TO PAY FOR ALL THE MEDS I TAKE AND I CANT SEE SOMEONE WITHOUT MEDICAL MEDICARE. TOO MUCH AT ONE TIME. OH, AND IF ANYONE HAS THIS PROBLEM PLEASE RESPOND. THE WORST PROBLEM IS THAT WHEN I WAS A CHILD MY GRANDMOTHER ALWAYS YELLED AT ME AND TOLD ME I WAS PORETENDING AND WAS NOT SICK NO MATTER HOW SICK I WAS, AND MADE ME GO OUT AND WEED THE GARDEN OR SCRUB THE FLOOR WHEN I WAS THROWING UP. SO ALL MY LIFE I THINK I MAKE IT UP AND THOUGH I HAVE BEEN IN THERAPY FOR YEARS WORKING ON IY, WHEN EVER I AM SICK LIKE TODAY, I PUSH AND PUSH AND JUST FIGURE IF I FALL OVER DEAD ILL FALL OVER DEAD. I CANT BELIEVE MYSELF AND IT IS SUCH A SAD WAY TO TREAT YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE SICK. CLIS
  7. phenom

    phenom New Member

    this guy/girl sounds like he is making you MORE sick! its hard enough that you have to deal with exhaustion and crappy doctors who don't know enough and just don't want you anymore, but on top of that you have the worst psych i've ever heard of!!!! shop around and find a better one - who doesn't miss appointments and fall asleep! hope all works out for you.

    phenom