Losing beloved animals, while dealing with our illness

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by isee, Aug 26, 2003.

  1. isee

    isee New Member

    Tomorrow I say my final goodbye to my beloved cat, Claw. He's been my companion for 17 yrs. Always by my side, always
    loving. A part of so many wonderful memories, as well as a
    constant support through this illness. I can't count the times, he cuddled and snuggled with me in bed, or on the couch, when I was too sick to do anything lay there.
    He was ever so gentle, patting me to get up, to just sit on
    the front porch while he and I admired the birds.
    And, there's so much more.

    I'll be with him with the vet, stroking his head, and looking him in the eyes, those sweet, lovely green eyes...

    He's been very sick, and I know I need to let him go... but
    I'm so very, very sad to say that final goodbye.

    I know I can go on...but I'm wondering how others have coped with losing their best friend animals while coping with this illness.


  2. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    There are tears in my eyes as I type this. My heart goes out to you. I've had several pets die, and it is more difficult than many imagine.

    Claw is so fortunate to have you, who loves him so much. It also sounds as if he took very good care of you......

    I haven't dealt with this since being diagnosed with Fibro. I do want you to know you are both in my thoughts and prayers.

    Gentle hugs are with you, and Claw......


  3. IngyW68

    IngyW68 New Member

    Hi Anna,

    I am crying as I read your posts and the others because my dog, Tanga, is very sick and I think it is about time since he is barely eating anything the past week or so no matter what I try. Hamburger, chicken, McDonalds food, protein shakes, baby food, etc. He has a kidney disease that happens in his breed sometimes. He is a Basenji which is a barkless dog. He is only 5 years old and the first dog I ever owned. He has been my wonderful playful companion and source of such great joy. I have to call the vet tomorrow and find out if they think it is time. He was normally 21 pounds and now down to 15 which is an extreme drop for a small dog. He still has a tiny bit of spark in him but fading fast since he is not eating much at all.

    I am soooo sorry for you and others that have had to do the same thing. It is one of the most difficult decisions to make ( unless they are a human child) but they are the closest things to children for us. I will be praying for you. Please give yourself time to grieve and rest so you don't make yourself go into a flare, I know it is hard.

    God Bless,

  4. catgal

    catgal New Member

    Dear Anna~~I am at home from work today so very sick and not knowing what all is wrong with me, but I have 5 precious, old cats that tend to me, know when I'm ill, cuddle up all around me, gently paw me to let me know they care, lick my tears, and as I pet them and listen to their purring--it comforts me.

    When I read your post, I broke out into tears flooding down my face for I recently had to put my oldest cat, Tyler, to sleep, and I still miss him so. I know how hard it is while all the time your heart is breaking. When I put Tyler down, I was there with him, holding him, loving him, talking to him, and praying he understood. He was old, weak, and sick--had no quality of life left--and I knew it was the kindnest thing to do, but yet as I looked into his sweet, precious face for the last time--I felt my heart hit the floor.

    Sometimes, I still find myself putting out 6 catplates instead of 5--and I sit and have myself a good cry. I buried him out in the yard and planted flowers all around his grave. I have had cats all my life, and at my age of 54, I have had to put several down due to old age, and it has never gotten easier. No where else can you find such devotion, unconditional love, comfort cuddling, unwaveable loyalty, committed friendship, and an intuitive, mystical sensitivity to your needs.

    As tears stream down my face, my heart goes out to you. It will be difficult, but we cannot bear them to suffer. It is the hardest, kindest act of love. I have felt fortunate to have spent the time I had with my beloved Angels With Fur, and I will pray for your strength to do what must be done, and for God's Hand to comfort you in the days that follow. Claw was very lucky to have had someone who loved and cared for him so much....and was no doubt as spoiled as mine are. They are Family, and the grief & loss is just the same--if sometimes not worse.

    God bless you and comfort your aching heart. I am so sorry for the loss of your loving companion. If you want or need to talk anytime--just post me--I send you my heartfelt sympathy as I cry along with you. Blessings & Comfort, Carol...
  5. scottabir

    scottabir New Member

    I put my beloved Miss Kitty down Monday morning. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. She was only 2 and a half years old but she had been dealing with a really bad case of ringworm for over a year and a half. She was doing so great but than all of the sudden she took a bad turn. It was hard putting down an animal so young for something I thought was curable. She had been in a cage for 11 months and I just couldn't allow her to suffer anymore. So now she is free and I am suffering. I hope to get another cat real soon to help fill in my void but never replace my dear Miss Kitty.

    I am sorry to all of those who have lost an animal dear to them. Hopefully we will all see tham again someday on the Rainbow Bridge.

  6. CelticLadee

    CelticLadee New Member

    It is such a difficult time to go through and with our illness it does make it harder on us. Our symptoms flare up all the while we are trying to be strong for our beloved pet. I lost my little fur girl, red pomeranian, in June. She had Cushings disease and did not respond to treatment. She was wasting away and I could not stand watching her suffer anymore. Our vet and I knew it was time for her to be put down. Tears stream down my face as I write this as I relive those horrible moments. I miss her very much. She knew me so well and followed my daily routine so faithfully.

    My husband insisted I get another pomeranian soon after. It was the best thing for me. My little black puppy pom makes me laugh a lot and cuddles with me. She is sleeping on my lap right now. What a sweet baby. She has helped my heart to heal from the deep sorrow I felt. She does not take the place of my beloved companion of 12 years but she is a new chapter in our book. We our forming a new daily routine together and I am loving her. It is a beautiful thing to go on loving. That mends our hearts for sure.

    I hope you will find comfort in the posts to you today. When I was hurting the good people here certainly did make a difference for me. Such understanding and kindness was offered to me. I know it will be the same for you.

    My best to you,
  7. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I am so very sorry. I lost my 18 year old cat and I know how you feel. It helps to do something symbolic to help with your grief. Bless you for holding him while he travels Home. It's the last loving thing we can do for our beloved animals.

    I came home from the vet and lit some candles and played some Celtic spiritual music. Later, my neihbors and I held a wake and toasted to "One hellova nice cat." He used to go with me to visit my neighbors in the condos here. He was such a gentleman and everyone loved him. Your description of your beloved Claw reminded me of my Mr. Big.

    I have a parson's table in my little office with pictures of all our family's beloved animals and it is such a comfort. We have lost two dogs this last year and another one is hanging on.

    I keep you and Claw in my prayers. BTW, my older daughter's first name is Anna.

    Love, Mikie
  8. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    My heart goes out to you. I have lost 4 dogs since I came down with CFIDS/Fibro. Each time the sorrow was great and the pain in my body as a result of experiencing that loss, was really bad. I became depressed each time, and it lasted from a week to a month. What got me through it all was my own prayer times, and the adoption of another dog, as soon as possible. I also spent time with my dogs, before the injection, thanking them for everyting and explaining what was going to happen, and why.. They may not have understood, but then, who knows?
    Now that I am really debilitated, I have begun to adopt elderly dogs. This works out fine, because I can't do much, and neither can they. You will not only have the joy of saving a life, but you will immediately get a totally loving and loyal friend that knows that you have saved him and loves you for it. My last adoption was Abby, an 11 yeqr old Australian Shepherd, who is almost blind, and deaf, and has arthritis. She was going to be put down at the pound and the lady from the rescue called me. Abby is doing really well now, and is a joy and a blessing. She fits in remarkiably well with my other dog and my cat. I would encourage you to adopt another cat or dog , and do it soon. There is the pound and there are rescue groups, too.
    Good luck to you. Terry
  9. aching

    aching New Member

    ....Like so many others in posts before me, I had to put my beloved Westie down one month ago. I know the grief and anguish you are going thru. It was my decision so I guess I feel a little guilty as the vet wanted to continue to treat her. I knew it was time in my heart,but it doesn't make it any easier. She had an autoimmune disease and was on prednisone for four years. At the end she developed cushings and was very ill. My rheumy told me many people with these diseases have pets with similar things. He said they are not communicable but might be caused from environment. It helps me to think she will be waiting for me someday.
    Gentle Hugs, Piper
  10. Takesha

    Takesha New Member

    I know there are a few sites, and if you do a search on prayers for pets, you will find several site that may bring you comfort. I have included a poem that wasn't copy-wrighted I hope it brings some comfort. Hugs to you all, this subject make me cry, I too have a 'best friend getting up in years.

    (In memory of beloved pets who are gone, but not forgotten.)

    I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
    I could see that you were crying. You found it hard to sleep.

    I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
    "It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

    I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
    You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.

    I was with you at the shops today. Your arms were getting sore.
    I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

    I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
    I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.

    I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
    I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "It's me."

    You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
    I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

    It's possible for me to be so near you everyday.
    To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

    You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
    in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

    The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
    and say "Good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

    And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
    I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

    I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
    Be patient, live your journey out... then come home to be with me.

    - Author unknown

  11. isee

    isee New Member

    Thank you so much, to all of you - for your kindness, your sympathy, but most of all, the memories you shared, so tenderly, of your loved ones.

    Claw has been sleeping most of the day, sometimes on the sun-filled porch scrunched up in the leaves of my ficus tree, other times rolled up in the cotton blanket of my bed.
    Throughout the day I have smoothed out the fur on his head, gently scratched under his chin - two things he seems to like. I've been telling him stories about when he was little,since he was born in my house. Mostly, we've been just talking and caressing.

    In between, I've been reading your posts, and crying, and feeling comforted, by your special connections to your beloved companions.

    Thank you so much for being willing to remember them all.

    You all helped me to help Claw tomorrow.

  12. ssMarilyn

    ssMarilyn New Member

    I remember bringing you home. You were so small and cuddly with your tiny paws and soft fur.

    You bounced around the room with eyes flashing and ears flopping. Once in awhile, you'd let out a little yelp just to let me know that this was your territory.

    Making a mess of the house and chewing on everything in sight became a passion, and when I scolded you, you just put your head down and looked up at me with those innocent eyes, as if to say, "I'm sorry, but I'll do it again as soon as you're not watching."

    As you got older, you protected me by looking out the window and barking at everyone who walked by. When I had a tough day at work, you would be waiting for me with your tail wagging, just to say, "Welcome home. I missed you." You never had a bad day and I could always count on you to be there for me.

    When I sat down to read the paper and watch TV, you would hop on my lap, looking for attention. You never asked for anything more than to have me pat your head so you could go to sleep with your head over my leg.

    As you got older, you moved around more slowly. Then, one day, old age finally took its toll and you couldn't stand on those wobbly legs anymore. I knelt down and patted you lying there, trying to make you young again. You just looked up at me as if to say that you were old and tired and that after all these years of not asking for anything, you had to ask me for one favor.

    With tears in my eyes, I drove you one last time to the vet. One last time you were lying next to me. For some strange reason, you were able to stand up in the animal hospital; perhaps it was your sense of pride.

    As the vet led you away, you stopped for an instant, turned your head and looked at me as if to say, "Thank you for taking care of me."

    I thought, "No.... thank you for taking care of me."

    Written by: Chuck Wells, Palmyra, NY

    P.S. I think it's important we stay WITH our good friend to the end on his final journey. Marilyn

    [This Message was Edited on 08/26/2003]
  13. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    My heart goes out to you. I had to put down my 14 yr old border collie a year ago. It was so hard. I hugged him and cried for an hour before we took him to the vet. He was such a loyal, gentle animal.

    We buried him in a beautiful spot beside a lake on our land. I marked his grave with flowers and a rock I decorated and painted his name on.

    I do believe animals have spirits and come around us in spirit just as our departed loved ones do. I believe we will see them on the other side when we die also.

    Thinking of you,
  14. Rob83

    Rob83 New Member

    Im sorry about claws, youll see your cat once you get to the other side. I lost my dog a while ago(mocha),i had to bury her myself which was very heartbreaking, but you can get past it.Youve given him a good home for a long time.His spirit has just outgrown its physical shell.

    I hope you find peace with his passing
  15. Takesha

    Takesha New Member

    I returned the second time, to read the posts, and when I read Marylns I lost it. I printed it out and went sobbing and I mean sobbing to the bathroom where my husband was just getting out of the shower. I sat down on the commode and read it to him, and he cried too!
    Have any of you seen Dr. Dolittle 2, Do you remember where the lizard said " so young, so angry, danm that rap music!" Well, here we are in the john, crying and I look up at Michael and say " so true, so sad, dang that board"..and crack up laughing,
    It's so true tho, our little ones are so faithful and loving and give so much. My heart understands your grief and your tears.
  16. mitch123

    mitch123 New Member

    Sorry to hear this, the sad thing about animals in my opinion is that they don't live long enough. My heart goes out to you.
  17. 1Candee

    1Candee New Member

    I had to respond to your post---it's one of my touchy issues and after reading your post and all the wonderful replys I had to take a break in the kitchen and let the tears flow. Claw loves and trusts you and has had a wonderful life being your companion. I feel that one of the most loving things we can do for a pet is to help them cross over to the other side when there time comes instead of keeping them alive for us instead of them. You are a loving, generous, strong woman and you will get through this as we all have before you. I agree with others when they say to go out and get a new cat/pet right away to change your focus. When my Aunt of 70 had to put her 18 yr. old cat to sleep she swore she'd never get another one and hasn't. That's like saying you can't love again because of a seperation.
    My 2 medium/smaller German Shepherds are here in my office with me now close at hand b/c of the thunderstorm going on outside---but then again they would be in here anyway--they're my little shadows. My hubby works 2 jobs and my kids are grown and through this dasterdly disease they have been there for me every step of the way when others just kind of shook their heads. I truly believe that the love of a pet is one of the deepest loves you can feel b/c they love us so unconditionally and need us so much for their daily care and well being.
    My heart and prayers go out to you and Claw tonight. Please keep in touch so that we can comfort you here. Love, Cat(How ironic---my name is my initials.)
  18. sunshine8957

    sunshine8957 New Member

    Dear Anna:

    I know how you feel. I had to put my 10-1/2 year Lab/Retriever, Dutchess, down 7/3/03. She had liver cancer for about a year (unknown - but we all suspected something was going on. You just "KNOW" when it's time, the complete lethargy, and refusal to eat or drink, unable to jump up and down the bed.

    You are doing your baby a favor by stopping the suffering.
    Just be prepared - I cried my heart out. I still miss her.
    I did have her cremated and they put her into a beautiful wooden urn with carving, a written memorial and a sumpathy card. I keep Dutch in my day-room in a glass curio cabinet along with various items (collar & tags)

    After her surgery and being told she could live 1 day or a month - I had to get another dog that I could get to know and love so I could be ready when the time came. We bought a Bijon (small like a poodle-but a BIG MOUTH :>)
    Little Miss Sophie has brought such joy and Dutchess lived for 3 months after her surgery - so she was able to teach Sophie some of the finer things in life.

    I will say my prayers for you and your baby tonite. Please know a lot of us will be with you.

    P.S. If possible you may want to have a friend drive you.
    It'll help, especially with you going into the room
    while they take care of her.

    Kiss your baby all over for me!

    Take care,