I am in the worst flare I have ever had. There is not one spot on my body that doesn't hurt. I am drowning under that guilt of how this effects my Husband and our two children. To hurt so bad for weeks on end for no reason. I wish sometimes my outward appearance showed my pain. No bruises or broken bones but the pain of it. I know that I am not the only one with this but Have had a hard time reaching out. I have no friends left as they don't understand why even going to lunch is not possible sometimes for two or three months. I am afraid now that the constant pain and fatigue are making me cranky. I so desperately don't want to let this change me into a meanie but I feel like it has done just that. I feel proud that I fight the desire to just stay in bed and hope to die, but wonder more these days just what it is I am working to maintain. Is this drowning chaos normal and if so please give me some words of advise, how do I get through this as it continues to get worse?