Lost Mom Today

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by PVLady, Apr 4, 2008.

  1. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    My mom has been in ill health for so many years and today at age 92, she passed. She was taken to the hospital last night from the nursing home. Even though I am never ready to say good-bye to anyone, she was truly ready to go on.

    She told me in the past weeks she has heard my dad calling her. (He passed several years ago). I went to the hospital after they called me and spent a hour praying for her. It was a sweet good-bye as I was able to remember the good parts of her life. Kind of strange I guess but I cut a few strands of her hair to make a locket in remembrance.

    My brother who practically never helped me and refused to call her to even talk, is calling everyone to let them know she passed and visit.

    I am not going to get mad, I feel such a relief for her. She suffered for a long time.

    I just wanted to share this with my online family.

  2. kjade

    kjade New Member

    I am so terribly sorry to hear about your loss. I don't know what to say to comfort you right now.

    I thought that was so sweet what you said about keeping her hair in a locket, and how she heard your dad calling her. Now they are together again.

    I'm so sorry.....you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
  3. fight4acure

    fight4acure Member

    Two very special people died on April 4th. Martin Luther King Jr. (40 years ago) and my grandmother (4 years ago).

    Now I see that another special lady has died on this day, your mother.


    May you forever remember the good things and times you had with her.

  4. 4everkid

    4everkid New Member

    I am so sorry for your loss PVLady. It is so hard to lose a parent, no matter how old you or they are. I'm sorry to hear that she had been suffering for such a long time. I lost my mother in 2004. Her last three months were pretty hard on her, and although I loved and miss her dearly, there was also a sense of relief, for her sake, to know that she was finally pain free and reunited with my Dad in Heaven. I miss her every day, but I know that she is so much happier now.

    Your mother had a very long life. Not many people these days make it to such a grand old age. I believe that she truly heard your Dad calling her. My SIL, who has spent a lot of time visiting a friend in hospice, said the nurses there told her that many, many patients hear angels singing just before they die. What a wonderful thought to know that our loved ones don't have to make that final journey alone.

    You have my deepest sympathy on this very sorrowful day.
  5. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    Thats a long long time to live...92 years. You will have many memories.

    I am sorry you've lost your dear mother and can empathise with your pain at losing her but i can also understand it was better for her not to suffer ill health any more.

    Like you said she would be with your father now and must be smiling at you and hoping you would be okay. I heard they linger awhile to watch over their loved ones.

    God Bless

  6. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    I think the most comforting thing in your post is that your Mom said she has heard your Dad calling her. I find that statement to give great comfort. You know she is with your Dad and with God. Her pain is gone.

    I think you are very wise to not focus on your brother's attitude. You can only be responsible for your own actions or inactions. Your brother is----what he is.

    Your Mom's suffering is over. I can tell that you really loved her. She is now pain free. I'm sure she is looking down from heaven and is very proud of you.
  7. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I am deeply sorry for you loss....


  8. jmq

    jmq New Member

    My deepest sympathy and prayers are with you. My father died on April 4th...but my beautiful daughter was born on April 4th. Life is strange ....It soulds like you had a wonderful relationship with your Mom and she went to be with your father in peace. I believe our mothers just become another one of our guardian angels.

  9. tonakay

    tonakay New Member

    my thoughts and prayers are with you during this time. I'm glad you were with your mom at her passing. Take good care of yourself during this stressfull time...

  10. victoria

    victoria New Member

    So sorry for your loss, I know how hard it is, I was very close to my Mother too. I lost her 15 years ago and still miss her, even tho she was ready to go too... but I know for a fact she is at peace, which does help... but still hard for me to let go.

    And at least your brother seems to be trying to help, in his own way. People are very different as to how they handle these things and may come across as not caring when they really do. I hope you have a chance to have a good conversation with your brother eventually.

    all the best,

  11. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Thank you everyone for your comforting words. Somehow spending that time with her right after she passed and praying was healing. Yes, I believe she is with my dad and also her beloved dog "Sam".

    I was talking to her and said you are with "Sam" again! The lady in her room thought my mom was sleeping. When I told her my mom passed she was shocked. I guess the nurses did not tell her.

    I choose to remember the good things instead of any bad. I have a elderly uncle who is 80. Every single day we talk and he can only talk about bad memories.

    I refuse to wind up like that. Honestly, probably every one of us could talk about bad memories if we chose.

    With fibro, CFS and everything else, we just don't need it. I was not perfect but I always made sure she was cared for, especially the last 10 years.

    Thanks again for the kind words.

  12. harmony21

    harmony21 New Member

    what a wonderful way to remember her passing pvlady....

    My mother passed 15 years ago and she asked for my permission to go as others were waiting for her decision

    she didnt want to go but i told her it was time to see dad and be at peace

    Two days later she passed, an end to her suffering and peace to us to know she had gone to see my dad and others

    May peace and wonderful memories always be around pvlady our mums are always very special

    angel hugs

  13. lgp

    lgp Well-Known Member

    You are in my thoughts and prayers. Your mother is with your father now and I hope you can take some comfort from that.

    Don't give your brother a second thought; in her last moments your mother knew who was really there for her--you.

    I hope you find solace in the coming days and I continue to pray for you.

    [This Message was Edited on 04/05/2008]
  14. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    My prayers are with you and your family.....take care.

  15. sisland

    sisland New Member

    For the Loss of your Mom!,,,Brings back Memories of my own Mom Passing,,and Tears and Sadness,,,But Just to know that she will No longer Suffer is Comforting!,,,,,,Love!,,,And Hugs!,,,,,,,,,Sis
  16. stick2013

    stick2013 Member

    I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I hope her passing was peaceful and you can gain comfort from knowing that she is now with your father.....
  17. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your beloved mother. Keep your good memories. She is in a wonderful place now and with your father.

    I lost my Daddy on 7/20. I was able to be there and told him it was ok to let go and be with Momma. When he passed he had a little smile on his face. I have good memories of him and my Momma.

    My husband lost his parents 2 months 1 day of each other. It is sad to say he does not have very many happy memories. He told me he had more of my parents. We are lucky that we have these memoies.

    I have a brother like yours. He did not help but he always told people he did the most. He stole so many things from Daddy and he "loves" to tell people how I made the arrangements and got everything my way. I checked him to come with my husband and I and he didn't want to. He is acting like the wounded party.

    I feel that I have my good memories and was glad to care for my parents when they needed it. You did the same thing.

    Again I am so very sorry for your lose, hang on to your memories and love for your Mom.

    God bless; Pam
  18. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    Losing your Mother has to be one of the hardest separations ever even when you know she is ready to go.

    Don't worry about your brother, you know what went on and so does your Mum.

    I lost my own Mum a year ago, she was ready to go too and I miss her so much.

    I'm glad you were there for your Mum PVL.

  19. Callum

    Callum New Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss; I don't think it's strange at all that you wanted a lock of her hair. I thinks it's beautiful.

  20. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    What a difficult time - and you're handling it with grace. You're so wise in not getting angry with your brother - it could be that he's having a bit of well-earned guilt. Besides, you must do what's best for you now.

    It's hard to lose our mothers, no matter how old we are or they are.

    My heart goes out to you.