Lost my last "friend"

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by SPR30, Jun 23, 2006.

  1. SPR30

    SPR30 New Member

    There has been 1 person in my life (first cousin, like a sister, we were so close) that always seemed to understand me a love me for me.
    I do not have any siblings, but have a few close first cousins....this one was the most precious to me.
    She married young, the first guy to show interest in her, I introduced them. He has been a good provider, but mostly living for himself and treating her like a doormat.
    They give kids $ stuff and no discipline. They think theirs can do no wrong...well, they are awful!
    I kept my mouth shut about her kids and hubby and never said anything unless I was asked.
    Well, we have had a falling out....this was really between the kids, but she had to get involoved and ultimately put me in the middle. She did't like me pointing out what her kids was up to but shot many nasty comments about me and my son my way.......(I think I was the LAST person in our whole (big) family to even speak to her anymore, so she has had this go round before)...after our arguing back and forth via email (yeah, she's the type that smiles at your face, then gets home to tell you off via email, COWARDICE)she used all my words back at me, one of those that argues by attacking you with your own words.....weak!
    Her girl does that, talking in a baby voice and manupulating people, but the mom is like that too....she is never at fault and just doesn't know what she said wrong. The type to say mean little things disguised with a smile...but I think she may not realize it sometimes...she is gullible and will repeat things too easily.

    ANYHOW, I HAVE NEVER SEEN A BIBLE,CROSS,PRAYER...ANYTHING IN HER HOME OR FROM HER MOUTH AND WHAM!!!!!!!!! She sent me the Serenity Prayer....what gall.....like she can now use scripture.........I simply replied, well, this is the first time you have ever quoted scrpiture.....my bible is beside my chair.....(which it is) I also said, I am letting toxic people/relationships out of my life. I cannot fight any more, I know you have had this fight with others before and I am sorry for the hurt in your heart, AMEN and GOODBYE......

    I just have no respect for someone wo tells me off, yells at my kid,fails to discipline her own and then ACTS holy.
    It is a perverted way to use GOD's WORD!!!!!(She said I have a sick way of looking at things???? I think alot of the argument was due to misunderstandings....I can't help it if she doesn't have a firm grasp for language. I think she misunderstoomy (big) words and she used wrong terms, like "middle man" when I think she meant "caught in the middle" there is a difference! Oh well, I guess it is hard to hear the ugly truth from someone, but that was me, truthful.

    I looked online for a forgiveness prayer.......the lesson that says we should forgive,not because we condone what they did, not because they shouldn't suffer the consequences, but basically, so that they can maybe get to heaven one day...I doubt she will apreciate it's meaning...but I am done.
    I will say no more to her.......it's useless, if ignorance is really blissful, then she should be ELATED!!!

    Sorry to seem so angry and nasty, but I have had enough....since becoming ill, I basically have my hubby,son (who we have alot of trouble with, age12; hopefully he will get all the BAD stuff out of his life now so that he can be a strong ,productive adult) and my pup.....my heart is so heavy with hurt and I just can't seem to get a break from it. I know I am fortunate to have what I do, beautiful home, I don't work....but I just want peace,tranquility and happiness....not riches, not jewels, just to be happy and at peace.
    I wish I neve had to deal with the world outside my door...that to me would be HEAVEN!!!!!!!

    Oh, P.S. I know we shouldn't be jealous, but it IS human nature...I am moving to a hew home and I think there may have been bitterness on her part there too.
    That and she often commented on how lucky I was for having the home and husband I have and how good I was at everything. I was always humble and tried to compliment her.....I do have somewhat of an inferiority complex at times and she has a whopper of one.
    I think this argument was not really with me or anything to do with what was going on, but more a culmanation of her feelings towards me in general.

    It is soooo hard to let this go, but since she wanted to get soo ugly...I think it is best that we no longer speak.
    Her time was dictated by hubby and such, so the friendship was stressed all along. Her hubby is also one of those who is ashamed of where he came from yet, rally treats other like they are not good enough for him....he isn't liked by anyone in the family. He talks DOWN to people and tells his wife he has nearly genius IQ, well so do I ,but I don't try and TELL people I am smart! They never went to family affairs at the (for lack of a better word)less well to do relatives homes. He now dabbles in realty....which (hope I don't offend) to me, I making money off what other people have.
    And then they wondered why we didn't list our home with him.....because I won't pay some $13-$15k for my house to be sold. C'mon, most people work 6 months or more for that!
    Besides, I asked him months ago if he cound find me a nice block home for near what I pay a month for my triple-wide, he said, NO! (has his wife cleaning homes that people have been murdered in, sick...then flipping them for profit, my hubby would never do that, he will work OT and we are happy with what we have!
    I have a contract on a nearly new block home with privacy fenced yard and large gargae for, get this, about $100 or so more than my mortgage now! Hmmmm?

    [This Message was Edited on 06/26/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 06/26/2006]
  2. dejovu

    dejovu New Member

    You have soooooooo many friends and sisters on this board. It breaks my heart that you feel alone.

    We've all been angry and hurt and it does go against everything we believe in. I think it hurts us more than the people were mad at.

    We are human and no matter how hard we try to be Christ-like, it does sneek out.

    You are loved by the people on this board. Please never forget that. It hurts a lot I'm sure, but please share with us.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers, De
  3. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    Like De said, you have friends and sisters here. Friends are the sisters that God forgot to give you.

    Families often behave the worst, thinking they somehow have the right to upset and turn our worlds upside down.

    I won't go into my own story, but you are not alone, there are many of us.

    When you are hurting less try to find a friend. Over the past years I have many email friends all with fms. The bless me daily and their communication validates my being.

    We are not permitted to exchange web sites at this forum. There are other forums for FMS and some of them do permit emails. I realize the dangers, but I have been blessed. I have had gifts sent to me from other countries, flowers on special occasions, and packages. They are not merely names on a page, they are real. Sometimes we speak on the phone.

    I suspect you can't change your cousin, but I wish you all the best in replacing her. With friends like that who needs enemies?
  4. Pottersclay

    Pottersclay New Member

    Sometimes they will be there for you when you need them....other times they are not. Some will love you for who you are....and some who you "think" you know will sometimes turn on you. I KNOW. I had a friend I thought I knew. I was concerned for her because she was getting back together with an alcoholic husband who didn't go for help...I told her my concerns....WHAMMIE....I am the bad person. My friendship tanked 14 months ago. It hurt ALOT. I just let her go, told her how I felt...and despite the hurt in my heart...I told her if she ever needed a friend, that she knew where to find me. Nothing.....silence for months...

    Like another mentioned here....you can't change the friend. You can choose to forgive them and love them anyway. I just chose not to grovel for the friendship back. I have to think of my self respect. I will not force a friendship on a person who doesn't seem to want it anymore.

    If you need a friend...you will find plenty here!

  5. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    You are in my prayers dear one. There are so many wonderful caring people here...you are not alone.

  6. SPR30

    SPR30 New Member

    I have been looking to my bible and this site for comfort and I have found such.

    Thank you and please read the post I wrote entitled "My prayer for all of you". Love, Stacey