Today, I was diagnosed with lupus by my rheumatologist. I suppose that I had expected that diagnosis since he’s been following me for about one year for possible lupus, and has had me on Plaquenil for about a year. I thought I’d be relieved to find out one way or another that I did or didn’t have it. The teeter-totter that I’ve been on this past year was difficult. At the first visit after the first labs, he told me that I had “early” lupus, then after tests he told me I didn’t have lupus. I had a lot of abnormal tests, but none that he thought would validate the diagnosis of lupus. Then at another visit he told me that I possibly had lupus. Today, he told me the tests were conclusive for lupus. I sat like a bump on a log and didn’t say a word. That’s not like me. One big question I had wanted to ask him if the diagnosis was conclusively lupus was, does a diagnosis of lupus mean that all the symptoms I’ve had are from the lupus and the diagnosis of FMS and CFS aren’t real anymore? When I sat there and again mulled the question over in my mind, I remembered a previous conversation with him when he told me a year ago when he told me I had “early” lupus. At that time, he told me that I could have FMS and lupus at the same time and that some have had them both. I didn’t ask that question. The other questions I had wanted to ask him just flew out of my mind, I suppose fibro fog. I feel just kind of dull this afternoon. Now I know for sure it’s lupus.