Lying Addiction

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by ksp56, Aug 18, 2004.

  1. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    This is very difficult, for me to write, especially when it has to do with a marital problem.

    I post on the FM/CF board. Your 'Prayer Warrior' status has been mentioned many a time.

    I am married to a wonderful man, who is a compulsive liar. This is do hard to say, but it is the truth. When you live with someone over 23 years, you really think you would know what your life was based on. I am very 'on top' of things and didn't have a clue until a year ago. I feel as if I am on quicksand each and every day.

    He lies about big and little things. It is erroding our marriage. I feel so alone and lonely, with the exception of God. He is in counseling, and it will be more frequent after his last deceit.

    I love him, but I cannot continue to stay if no progress is seen. It's to difficult questioning everything about my/our life together. We have two children. Our 17 year old son is still at home. This makes any decision harder.

    My fibro is flaring and I am in physical and emotional pain. Between moving and this new episode of lying, I don't see much in the way of 'light at the end of the tunnel.' For either pain.

    Please pray for my husband to find peace and help with this addiction. I know God is watching over him, but he needs to pay attention to opportunities that God presents. I ask for your prays to find a better way of coping than what I am at this minute. My heart feels broken and torn, for us both.

    I, very much, appreciate your acceptance and prayers.

    God Bless,

    Kim
  2. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I will be praying that your husband can overcome this problem with God`s help. I had a friend like that and he changed and quit doing it finally. He changed and your husband can too.

    Sandy
  3. Yesh

    Yesh New Member

    My ex would lie about everything and anything, even things that did not really matter. Although my ex never changed, he still lies, I believe your husband can change, but first he has to admit he has a problem. Also, all the counceling in the world will not help if you are making your husband go, or he is going to please you; he needs to be going because he honestly wants the help.

    I hope you don't think I am being to direct, but I thought I would tell you what I wished people would have told me; it would have saved me a lot of heart ache.

    I will keep you and your husband in my prayers.

    God Bless

    Yesh

  4. grge

    grge New Member

    I am praying for you and your husband
    georgia
    [This Message was Edited on 08/19/2004]
  5. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    Your prayers, support and honesty mean very, very much to me.

    Jim is in counseling on his own accord. Which is the only way to do it. I've told him, he needs to love himself enough to love us all, as we should be. If he can't, well there's no hope. We're both praying for God to show us the way.

    Thank you for keeping us in your prayers and for your support.

    Love,

    Kim
  6. danny3861

    danny3861 New Member

    I will be praying for you both. Bless you Kim and your husband.

    Danny
  7. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    You are all so thoughtful, kind and caring. Seeing your responses, I am once again reminded that Jesus walks among us.

    Bless all of you,each and every day............

    Love,

    Kim
  8. shelbo

    shelbo New Member

    people lie because they feel that they are not good enough as they are, or that they feel that they need to say something that is not true to make people like them...a sort of approval mechanism. I say this because you say he even lies over small things. Your hubby needs to understand that you and God love him for himself...he does not have to lie to make you approve of him. I will pray that his self-image and confidence in himself improves so he will feel free to be who he really is. That is what God wants for him. I will pray he realises how special he is to you and to God. Have you tried to talk with him very gently about it, reassured him etc?
    I will pray for you too for God's direction in the situation and for your Fibro. I have Fibro/CFS so I can really sympathise with you. This is hard by itself but even on our worst days we have to know that we are not in it alone!
    God bless, Shelbo
  9. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    Yes to most everything you wrote in your email! My husband does not feel good about himself and he basically lies, not to disappoint others. He is a good man, with the exception of this horrid addiction.

    I have often assured him of my, and our Lord's love. What he needs is to allow himself to feel it from the Lord, Himself, and from us.

    It does anger me when I find out that he has lied. And then I settle down and try to work on this problem together. If he doesn't seem to make progress within the next year, I will need to make some difficult decisions.

    Thank you for your post! You described Jim, to a 't'!

    God Bless,

    Kim PS I post on fibro board also
  10. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    A very heartfelt 'Amen' to what you wrote....

    Bless you,

    Kim