Lyme poem by PJ Langhoff

Discussion in 'Lyme Disease Archives' started by victoria, Nov 7, 2010.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Excerpts, it is really good, and mayhelp to show friends/family...
    you can read the whole thing here at her site:


    I am not crazy

    This is not all in my head

    I am not making any of this up

    I am not a hypochondriac

    I do not seek attention or fame

    I do not have borderline personality disorder

    I don’t need a psychiatrist or a psychologist

    Why do you admonish me when it is you who does not understand?

    None of this is my fault

    How can you say that my disease does not exist?

    Why do you say it is not in my town?

    Hush, keep it down or panic will ensue

    People might move away

    Or worse yet, never come and visit

    We can’t have that can we?

    I stand here before you as a testament to my illness

    I am a helpless victim of a cruel disease

    And an even crueler system

    Your misdiagnosis is designed to render a pill so I go away

    You choose to ignore me and I will go away

    Eventually I will die of a disease called ignorance

    If the illness doesn’t get me first

    ...You say you don’t believe in my disease

    But it believes in me

    Let’s take stock of all my imaginary illness has given me

    The gift of my experiences and the toll they have taken

    ...I have every illness known to man except that which I truly have

    According to them

    I don’t smile because my face has nerve damage

    You interpret it as looking mean instead

    I try to communicate but it is work for me

    You think I have an attitude problem

    ...Desperate for human connectedness

    A kind word, an understanding heart

    Save me from this isolation I feel

    An unwelcome blanket of silent uncertainty

    You say I want for attention

    ...I wince when you touch me, when you kiss me

    I need reassurance but your embrace is painful to me

    Or I find none at all, feeling your rejection from lack of support

    Because I am too much work

    Because you are tired

    Or you have had a long day

    You walk out on me

    I have no value to you

    Because you cannot relate

    ....My thoughts are dark, sometimes suicidal, you call me insane

    Or elation, roller-coaster mood swings which have no meaning

    I am so cold, hypothermic, or feverish, wet from night sweats or chills

    My joints and muscles hurt, ache, throb, burn, and are swollen

    ...I fall asleep in the daytime and need rest throughout the day

    I am afraid of slumber, nightmares disturb my sleep

    I stumble along, knock things over and fall

    You tell me to be “careful”

    ...You reject me because I am unreliable

    Because you don’t understand

    I am sorry I missed your family function

    Or dinner party, or funeral, I was too sick to attend

    You say I am not sick and my disease is but my imagination

    ...You close doors in my face and send me away

    Because you don’t want to deal with me

    Because you say three weeks is enough and I should be cured

    Or 10 days or 30 or 100

    Or worse yet you experiment on me without knowing what or why

    To you I don’t look sick, but I assure you that I am

    Outside I look fine, but inside I am screaming

    ...I am angry

    I have a right to be

    Let me explain

    I am the forgotten

    I have Lyme

    ©2006-2010 by PJ Langhoff, the founder of and a lifetime Lyme sufferer