madwolf ,billiegail ,GaryandKim,layinglow and mikie.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by hubbyhasfibro, May 1, 2003.

  1. hubbyhasfibro

    hubbyhasfibro New Member

    To all of you that responded to my posting:

    madwolf ,billiegail ,GaryandKim,layinglow and mikie.

    To hear your words brought tears to my eye's.
    I know that Its been a very hard road for my Husband.
    I can see the pain in his eye's and I know when he's
    having a bad day. He tried to give me an out of our marriage
    two years ago. I told him no way!!! what ever we go threw we do
    it together . He said, that he read something about wife's leaving
    there husband's due to this damn thing. It has changed both
    our life's. We have changed our actives that we do together.
    but the hardest part it lack of intimacy. Is any one else going thru this?
    I know he loves me and we've talked about it. and I know that he'd never cheat. but, I guess
    in the back of my mind I start to think about that because he hasn't touched me.
    I know that on my part that its emotional and hormonal.

    For me the hardest part is having some one to talk to
    that knows what I'm going threw and what he's going thru for that matter.
    I've ran into people that said. Oh ya, I have it too. Just exercise its not that bad.
    like its all in his head. boy, did that get me steamed. and I gave them a piece of my mind.

    well, I could go on forever. again. Thank you from the
    bottom of my heart for taken the time to reply to me.
    wife and mother of three in AZ

  2. gottalottalove

    gottalottalove New Member

    I just wanted to respond to the unconditional love you and your hubby have. I have FM at 37 and my husband who is 31 has had 2 bad accidents at work in the past 4 years. He now has 3 blown discs in his back. We have lost so much (vehicles, entertainment ect.) however, we have gained so much more. I am so thankful to hear about the stregnth you two have together. There is no greater intimacy than that of the mind. It has been a long journey and I know that physical intimacy was a huge part of our life. We are so much closer now though and I want people who are visiting the message board to know that to stay supportive of our loved ones and truly love their soul is the greatest gift and rolemodeling anyone could give their children or those around us. (even our community) God bless you two, Tina
  3. billiegail

    billiegail New Member

    I have no sex drive and I do find my husband sexually attractive and want to have sex with him, but it is just mental. My body does not respond.When we do have sex, I am not very active and when I am, it wears me out so very fast and he has to finish anyway. I am a female and I too have low testostrone levels. That can affect a woman's sex drive as well. Doctors can and will prescribe us testostrone and I need a refill.
    I agree with the last poster. Get your husbands levels checked. I bet they are low.

    I have wanted to give my husband a way out of our marriage too. He waited to marry until he was 36 and he has no children of his own. I have three teen boys and my hubby has seen me through some difficult times. I want him to have more in a wife, ya know.
    I know he desearves better and yet, he still loves me and I know that it would do him more harm than good for me to leave.

    Oh yea, people have told me to exercise and it will help. I want to just choke them. I do exercise and it has not helped a bit. I am still just as sore and hurt all over all the time.
    I use to be built like a dream and worked out alot. My energy level was through the roof and I can not touch that now and I try so hard.
    I keep telling myself that, if I did it once I can do it again. I get so fustrated when I work out for months and there is no difference in me in any way.

    Your husband is a lucky man to have a wife that is willing to research herself in order to better understand what is going on with his body and to try to do anything and everything to help.

    If your husband seems angry or bitter at times, remember that him not making you feel like a complete woman or a little neglected, is making him feel like even less like a man. Men don't handle that well, never have.

    God bless you for being a super wife and If I could, I'd nominate you for Wife of the Year.


  4. layinglow

    layinglow New Member

    You have such a great attitude, and obviously are a wonderful spouse. Please don't think that you are not attractive, or that his mind is elsewhere....hon, it's these disorders or meds we are on.
    I have just started taking antidepressants 2 months ago, hopefully to wean off in a month. It has had an unbelievable effect after about a month on, in regards to libido. I would also say that my libido changed at the onset of FMS a result of pain, sensory overload, etc. I am one of those whose symptoms are very neural. I have to take a dose of klonopin after sex, as I begin having myclonic jerking, trembling, and shaking.
    Please know it's not you, its these disorders.
    I agree with the others who have posted...hormones are often disregulated, and should be checked. I have gained help (prior to the dern antidepressants) with DHEA. You might ask the Doctor about this.
    Again, your husband is a very lucky man....I hope you stay and post often.
  5. sofy

    sofy New Member

    it not just sex. Words and conversation can be very intimate but also exhausting. Often I am too tired to think and have meaningful conversation. I would think a good place to restart the intimacy is right here with this thread. Show it to him and let him know you are concerned cuz you dont know what he is feeling and what you should do. Hopefully that will get the two of you talking. Let him know it's ok to let you know when he has the energy to talk. I know for me sometimes there is no one at home in my body but after an hour or two of resting I will get 45 min or so and I grab it. I am sure there is a way for you two to share an intimate loving life together but it will take some relearning and redefining of just what that word means. You are lucky to have each other in love!