Major Life Change: Prayers Wanted

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by sweetpeas, Jan 18, 2005.

  1. sweetpeas

    sweetpeas New Member

    Dear Fellow Believers on the Worship Board,
    Thank you so much for all of your prayers. To make a very long story short, my son recently left to live in a Christian rehab. place more than 2,000 miles from me (The places out here were either full or wouldn't/couldn't take him because of the dual dx. It was arranged through connections his father has (the one who hadn't contacted him in years!) and is a wee bit on the cultist side in terms of control (Yes, control is essential in drug rehab. However, the people who are in this particular denomination do not go through college and seminary--I don't mean to offend anyone here with this--and can be "control freaks" in the church.) and a rather unbalanced emphasis on certain things. My son will be there for almost a year, perhaps longer. Please pray that whatever truly balanced things he hears about the Word of God will sink in deeply and change him and that he won't be harmed by any unbiblical or unnecessary prejudices (such as against me as I am not a member of this church--they're very tight-knit and loyal only to "insiders" I've always felt). He also needs prayer to be healed once and for all of his addictions and antagonism towards the Lord and me. He was deceitful and angry right to the end, even at the airport. He's my one and only "baby" and we've never been apart months on end. I need prayer to "let go" gracefully. As I understand it, the empty nest syndrome is tough even when your kids leave under normal circumstances (college, job, getting married, etc.). It's very painful under these circumstances. I worry about his life, spiritual status, and whether our relationship will be healed as I was the one to raise him and the only one around to have his anger dumped on. I have a mixture of profound relief as well as deeply, deeply missing him. I was willing to release him to his father's "connections" even though his father basically deserted him for a few years and made our lives miserable for years before that. I think my feelings are very secondary to the primary business of my son's welfare. It was critical to get him into continuing care right after detox. The story of King Solomon's judging the true identity of a mother has a whole new meaning to me. Remember that two women were arguing that each was the mother of the live child and that the other was the mother of the dead child. Then Solomon calls for a knife or sword to cut the living child in two out of "fairness." The real mother cries out and says the other woman can have him...just don't hurt the child! It was sooooooooo hard to release my son, but I felt that it was worth the risk to see him healed. My feelings go deeper than these weak words can express. Please pray for us. God bless all of you richly.
  2. Dulcimerkid

    Dulcimerkid New Member

    Dearest Sweetpeas,
    You are in my prayers. That the Lord will continue to the calm in the center of the storm your life is going through and that he will continue to guide you in the direction wheich is best for you and your son. I am praying that this change is in his will and it will be a blessing to you both!!! Hold on and never give up. The Lord is always present and always caring, never wanting to see those he loves suffer.
    Know also that those of us here love you and will continue to lift you up in prayer and give emotional support.
    Please keep us posted through the fm/cfs board. when this one closes.
    Love your sister in Christ,
    Laurie
  3. MusicTeacher

    MusicTeacher New Member

    Dear Sweetpeas

    How hard all this must be for you: not only to say "goodbye" for an extended period of time to your son but also to know he's going back to his father. As a Mum myself, I can begin to identify with your pain at this separation, even if you know it's possibly your son's big chance to turn himself around. I pray that this Centre will help him (it sounds as though you have some anxiety about it?).

    Now it's important to do something for YOU! You've given your son everything and God continues to have him in his care but you need to build a life that nourishes and supports you now. I know when my son left home to start a new life in his own flat I spent several months feeling really sorry for me (although I was really pleased for him). One morning I looked at myself in the mirror (not a happy sight!) and decided that the time had come to move on and get a life (within the constraints of this DD).

    I'm lucky: my son is currently well, in a good job and very happy and in touch by phone regularly. I know you're not in that position but I really want to encourage you to move your life forward as best you can now in your own time. I believe God is sustaining you and will never leave you and I pray that you will continue to know his comfort and peace in your life. You have made the supreme mother's sacrifice - letting her child go. It does hurt so much for you and I pray that you will find ease to that pain.

    I hope you will find a church to join but try to keep your mind focussed on God through prayer etc. No matter how far away you are from your son, God is the link between you 24/7.

    Dear Sweetpeas, I shall continue to pray for you both in the weeks/months to come. As this board closes soon, I also ask you to post on the CFS board sometimes to keep us up to speed on how/where to focus our prayers.

    Draw strength for yourself from God and be upheld. Try to do just something for you each day and be blessed by it. (It's not selfish, it's building your life and self-esteem.)

    Know you are loved and cared for by many across the world! That makes you a special and important person......

    God bless, take great care of yourself.
    Love and prayers
    Music Teacher (UK)

  4. jackiej33

    jackiej33 New Member

    My heart goes out to you. I have already prayed for you and your son and I will continue to do so. I will also put you and your son in our prayer book at church so the whole congregation will be praying for you. God bless.
  5. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    Thoughts and prayers for you and your son. I know you`ve been through so much already. Praying that this treatment will work for your son. Asking God to guide and comfort you through all this.

    Hugs,
    Sandy
  6. sweetpeas

    sweetpeas New Member

    Dear Laurie,
    You have been an extra special blessing to me throughout the past few months I've posted on these boards, and I want to thank you for that. You've got it right--I'm in the storm. My son broke the rules and contacted me recently. No, I don't believe he did so because he missed me. He just wanted to know how to contact someone else--a bit disappointing for a mom--AND to let me know he didn't think he could make it through the long rehab program. That's my son, all right. Finishing what he started was never his forte. I had to tell the people at the rehab cuz with his depression and foggy thinking I don't want him to do something crazy like walking out when he thinks it's simply cold out (being too used to a warmer area of the country) and getting caught in some deadly blizzard. Because he's no longer under my roof, he is now has no medical/dental/vision insurance. Wonder if he'll miss any of the benefits of the home life he left behind--probably the prescription plan, huh. LOL. Thanks for your continued prayers. We will need them. He is always throwing a new curve my way. Will you still be posting on the CFS/FM board?? Is that how we can still stay in touch? I dread seeing the worship board closing and loosing contact with great prayer warriors such as yourself. Let me know, okay? I would like very much to be able to contact you through one of the other boards somehow. You and your concerns are on my prayer list, too.
    Much love to you,
    Sweetpeas
  7. Dulcimerkid

    Dulcimerkid New Member

    Dear Sweetpeas,

    I want to stay in touch too. Through the fm/cfs board will work. I feel so much for you, I know it is hard when a child you love hurts you so much and you just want to cry and scream and cry some more!!! My son has been sober from drugs and alcohol for 2 weeks, he goes for his first court ordered drug screen in March. He will probably fail it and have to spend 30 days in jail. He is attending AA meetings because his younger brother convinced him to. We are slowly finding out some of the aweful things he has done knowing alot of it was under the influence of drugs. He has shop lifted and he was dealing pot. He stole items from friends and from family. and I am praying that since he was sleeping around I will not be a grandmother too soon--Help!!! :(
    Some times I wonder why the Lord loves and trusts me so very much that he lets these trials come my way. LOL. If I didn't mention my husband has Multiple Sclerosis and is on disability retirement.

    Seriously, you continue to be in my prayers and I look forward to staying in touch with you to see what the Lord has planned for you and how he will use all this for his greater good.
    Love your sister in Christ,
    Laurie
    [This Message was Edited on 01/24/2005]
  8. sweetpeas

    sweetpeas New Member

    Dear MusicT....
    You have been such a comfort to me. (((hugs))) Thank you for your kind and supportive words. Yes, friends and fellow Alanon (don't know if you have a group like that in the UK...?) members keep telling me the same thing--that I've got to start taking care of myself. I'm so used to having all my time and energy (what's left of it with this dx that we all share) go into my son that I feel pretty much at loose ends now, so to speak. I must admit that I've had a couple of really good pity parties for myself since he left...so you know as you've "been there." The relationship you are enjoying with your son sounds wonderful but seems so distantingly unobtainable for us as even the pastor who baptized my son and one of my siblings even said recently that they don't believe my son cares about me and may very well be incapable of such emotion. Music, he has betrayed me in numerous ways since his involvement w. drugs and has betrayed me a lot just recently in ways I would have never dreamt possible. (See my post to Dulcimer...he probably now thinks I betrayed him but was only concerned for his safety in reporting his rule breaking. However, it never takes much for him to get mad at me. It seems as though he's always angry with me.)
    I visited a church last Sunday, but it wasn't easy. As my son has so thoroughly rebelled against God in the past few years, do we still have Him as our link 24/7? I ask that in all sincerity. I'm sorry, Music. I just feel so low that it's tough to be optimistic as I feel as though I've lost him for good this time.
    Thank you big bunches for all your prayers and kindness you've extended to a hurting sister in Christ across the Atlantic. You are in my prayers, too. Where will you be posting, so we can somehow keep in touch? I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO saddened that this worship board in closing down. 'Feels like the fiery darts of the enemy to me. Please let me know. Your on-line friendship is important to me. God bless you always.
    Sweetpeas
    P.S. 'Just had to ask--did/do you ever watch "Keeping Up Appearances?" I know that some of the scenes are a tad crude, but there's a bunch of us Yanks that just love that show!!! Talk about great British talent! By the way, I think I forgot to tell you that many of my ancestors hail from the same part of the UK you're in.
  9. sweetpeas

    sweetpeas New Member

    Thank you SOOOOOOOOO very much for you kind thoughts and especially for putting my son and me on your church's prayer board. As I am currently unchurched as such, you have no idea how much that means to me. God bless you always.
    Love,
    Sweetpeas
  10. sweetpeas

    sweetpeas New Member

    Dearest Laurie,
    No, I had no idea your hubby has MS. I had an aunt and a very special friend years back who had it. If you've got FM and your son's in essentially the same pickle mine, you've got your hands full, girl. I feel guilty for complaining, but that probably won't stop me cuz I've been so down lately...lol. Laurie, I will be praying really hard for you and your family. Bless your heart--you are one strong lady.
    Yes, I used to scream and tear my hair out. Now I'm just at the crying stage. Isn't it amazing how people who aren't or haven't ever been in our situation wouldn't be able to realize what a really big deal it is for someone in active addiction to stay clean and sober for two weeks?! Life was so crazy with my son that my relief for the very few and very brief "breathers" I'd have between his binges
    never lasted long because got to the point where I just knew it was that proverbial "calm before the storm." I know that just about anyone who would view my posts would probably think that I've always been a pessimist. Actually, until my son got involved in drugs I was an extremely optimistic and trusting (too much so, no doubt) person. I know from personal experience the pain you must have felt about your son's stealing. I would put my computer on overload if I detailed what he stole from me, the property he damaged, and especially the lies he told on a daily basis. It's hard to believe but at one time he was a good, kind, happy kid with whom I was very close until he allowed drugs in his life. He has turned into a stranger, and I can honestly say I've never felt so alone in my entire life. I poured more than two decades of my life into him. I sure didn't expect it to turn out like this. As you can tell, I am not that tower of unshakeable faith. God still needs to work on me a lot, I know.

    You, your husband and his illness, your son, and the rest of your loved ones affected by all this are in my prayers. Where on the FM/CFS board will you and others from here post? There are many other boards, so I'm not sure where to go. I really don't get it--why is this one closing down and the others remaining open--or are some of the others closing, too?

    Looking forward to hearing about how you, your son (and hopefully no premature grandbabies, Lord willing), and hubbie are doing.

    Love in Him,
    Sweetpeas
  11. sweetpeas

    sweetpeas New Member

    Dear Sandy,
    Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I hope and pray the program works for him, too, but he's already thinking of bailing out. Although I will always love him, I will not bail him out if he bails out ('hope that makes sense). I've been through too much, and I don't think any of my rescuing has really ever helped him anyway. Prayers still very much needed as he is one very stubborn, arrogant, and misled young man. Thank you so much!
    Hugs,
    Sweetpeas
  12. MusicTeacher

    MusicTeacher New Member

    I understand that we are going to be allowed to post prayer messages on the CFS board so I shall hope to find you there from time-to-time! I am also going to register at "The Upper Room" which is a worship board. You can find the instructions for this under a message on this worship board from Danny and entitled "Alternative site to visit" and the Moderators have posted a direct link there - but I won't repeat it as I don't want to risk being banned!

    I will continue to uphold you and your son in love and prayer: I really do believe God links you together. The God I worship is a God of love and compassion - how could he possibly want to part mother and son? Maybe your son doesn't know/recognise him for now but God doesn't move and, when the time comes, he'll be there for your son. Hold onto God's strength in your life - it won't be an easy journey ahead but take it as it comes and I'm sure you will grow in strength and encouragement.

    Yes, I do know of the programme "keeping up appearances". It's on quite a lot in this country and much enjoyed.

    So, dear Sweetpeas, big hug and lots of love across the Atlantic and hoping to meet up with you on the CFS board as from next week. Please do post so we know how you and your son are doing.

    Take care - lots of love and prayers
    Music Teacher (UK)
    [This Message was Edited on 01/25/2005]