making decissions

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Aeronsmom, Oct 28, 2006.

  1. Aeronsmom

    Aeronsmom New Member

    does anyone have trouble making decissions? I can't make decissions, if my husband asks me where do you want to go and eat or what do you want to do tonight..I just can't think and I end up saying "I don't know..what do you want to do or where do you want to go or what do you want to eat"

    I just can't seem to think for myself, i feel like I am leaving everything up to mu husband to decide everything I do with my life, he does not complain but I feel bad for him. anyone else going thru the same thing?

    Love to all, Ann
  2. MamaDove

    MamaDove New Member


    Hi again Ann,

    This is one of the worst issues for me...Everyone around me used to count on me and benefit on my ability to make decisions...It was always one of my strengths...Now it's one of my biggest weaknesses...I think it goes something like this...

    My husband asks what I want for dinner, my mind begins to race...I am thinking of what is defrosted allready, what could be defrosted quickly, what would HE be able to make if I go down during dinner, do we have everything to compliment the main dish, etc,etc,etc...You get the idea...

    By the time I get to the 5th or 6th question (in my mind), I am BLITZED!!! I now tend to ask him what he wants, just like you...I have succumb to just saying the easiest thing that comes to mind now...My hubby on the other hand, has always relied on me to answer eveything...He asks me at least 100 questions a day lately, used to be much more...I used to scream at him and beg him to stop until I realized it is because of 'his illness' (epilepsy) that causes him to do this...He is unsure about all things in his mind...It can be scary! More things to deal with while I am dealing with my own...

    So we will join the club for non-decision-makers and let the rest of the world have the pressure of thinking so much...Lately, it just hurts too much to think...

    Sorry, I don't have any 'cures' or 'helpful hints' but I'm sure someone other than we are dealing with this and will come along to help...

    Chin up, just another hurdle we have to jump over...

    Peace~Alicia
  3. Redwillow

    Redwillow New Member

    Yes Ann I a have been there.

    I am not a bad as I was thank goodness and I don't think it is anything that I did. I just don't have as much stress in my life as I used to.

    My Cognitive Behavioural Therapy helped with this too. When I left my job and I was so ill and my anxiety levels were so high I felt like ever decision I made was going to be wrong.

    My self esteem was at an all time low and even to decide what to make for supper seemed huge. CBT helped me to work through some of this. I ask myself "what is the worst thing that could happen". And most of the time the worst thing really isn't so bad.

    I started out this way making small decisions and gradually worked up to bigger ones. Financial decisions are still huge for me though. Numbers and detailed instructions are more than my brain can hold.

    For now try not to fight it too much. Your brain has enough to deal with all the pain that you have been experiencing for a while. It seems to me that your brain is dealing with all the pain and just keeping you upright so you don't fall anymore. Maybe that is all it is able to do right now.

    If your hubby has to make the decisions on where you should eat.... well that just means he has to look after you for a while. I think this was just one of the things that helped my husband and my children realize just how sick I really was.

    hugs Redwillow
  4. huska

    huska New Member

    I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
    F.EX. IT TOOK ME ALMOST ONE YEAR TO BRING ANOTHER PUPPY HOME. MY HUSBAND WAS ALWAYS SAYING NO AND I COULDN'T GO AGAINST IT. I WASN'T MAD WITH HIM. I WAS MAD WITH MYSELF.
    I WAS MAD WITH MYSELF BECAUSE I WOULDN'T KNOW WHY??? WHY COULDN'T I GO AGAINST HIM ? I WAS NEVER LIKE THAT !
    THEN ONE DAY I DECIDED. HE CAME HOME AND A NEW PUPPY WAS HERE !!! MY HUSBAND DIDN'T GAVE ME ANY PROBLEMS ABOUT THAT.

    THIS IS JUST AND EXAMPLE .

    I TOO WANT TO THINK FOR MYSELF AGAIN. AND I'LL DO IT...I HOPE.
    AND I'M SURE YOU CAN DO IT TOO.