Massive Depression Back...Anti-Depressant Advice Needed.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by joeb7th, Jun 18, 2010.

  1. joeb7th

    joeb7th New Member

    Been here off and on since everything started back in Jan. 2006.

    Like all of you I struggle EVERY DAY with horrible physical symptoms and emotional symptoms.

    My depression has been getting worse - again. Right now it is at the scary breaking point.

    I am sure many of you know what this feeling is like. It's like you are carrying 500 pounds all day and every feeling is a bad one. A sad one. A hopeless one. It simply is crushing... like you can't believe anyone on Earth could feel this bad. And as weak and tired eyed as you can't sleep or if you do it doesn't help at all.

    Before I ever got this whatever-it-is ( total body and emotional suffering ) if I had just one day of these massive depression feelings ... I would be racing up to our psyche ward ER.

    But, since I've have had this for years now, plus having just one night's experience in our only hospital within 40 mile psyche ward...I think I'd rather die than go back there.

    It is truly a prison mentality. You lose all authority over your treatment and stay. And the more you have these "visits", the more your record is tainted by these and other doctors don't want to treat you. They won't say this directly...but I've had at least 5 or 6 doctors act very enthusiastic and accepting on my first visit...then, after accessing my hospital records their demeanor changes 180 degrees and all of a sudden they stop short these first visits and say something like "uh, sorry, but I don't think I am the doctor for you..." One simply left the room and told me to go the front desk to pick back up my co-pay check.

    This is the added humilation and medical reputation ruining side of seeking psyche least in my experience.

    None-the-less, I know that these all day or all two day depression episodes are getting so powerful, I am being scared back into taking some AD's.

    I got off of trying these two to three years ago for various reasons.

    Lexipro made me gain 40 lbs. in 2 and 1/2 months which I never lost. I also lost my sex drive with this. I couldn't sleep. I had weird pulsating feeling going up into both sides of my head. Felt off balance frequently. After several months of this I got off of Lexipro.

    I tried Cymbalta and was so sick from the first dose I thought I would die. Prozac also made me extremely ill.

    I am a 58 year old male. Please, can as many of you as willing please share with me some real life reports of the antidepressants you take and maybe I can try a new one or two?

    Also, one psychiatrist I saw three times told me he believed anti-depressants didn't even work physically. He thought they worked only as placebos for maybe 50 % of their takers.

    Do you agree with this? If this is true...why even take these?

    What a letdown if this psychiatrist's belief is true.

    Thanks, Scared In California.
  2. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Wow, what an awful hospital experience.

    There are lots of psych hospitals that are very good. If you walked in you would not know that these people who look just like us are depressed. But they have chosen to be proactive by getting better. Checking into the hospital with a little help from my friends was one of the most positive experiences of my life.

    There were several ADs I was not able to tolerate. I know you have mentioned anxiety in the past and Zoloft and Lexapro are supposed to be good for that. Also adding Lamictal can make your AD work more efficiently and help anxiety. There are probably others, but talk to your doctor.

    It may take some work but look into finding a psychiatrist, psych hospital or hospital that has a psych ward with a good reputation. To be honest since it can be a matter of opinion, it is not an easy task or even always doable.

    Have you asked a doctor why they get concerned about your records? Even if you do not agree with their opinion, the past is the past. Maybe ask for a fresh start and show that you are willing to give things a try? It takes a lot of courage to confront our demons and with this DD it can make it more difficult. But give it a try.

    I can only speculate about your situation. However, I can tell you a lot of us have been there, done that and many have even got a TShirt.

    We also have a depression board which might have some good resources. I wrote a post about helpful crisis lines for different conditions. I know selaine has just had some very positive experiences with being hospitalized and medication. You might ask her for some ideas.

    I don't like to bring up specific posters but she has been very candid about her depression. She is often on the chitchat and I believe the depression boards. I know she posted something today on chitchat.

    No I don't believe what the one psychiatrist said. While not for everyone, ADs can add a positive quality to your life. New things are being learned about every day in the psychfield. I wish the same thing could be said about our DD. I am sure other's will respond with their experiences.

    Good luck. Keep us posted.


    ETA Oops, see Lexapro did not work out.
    [This Message was Edited on 06/18/2010]
  3. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Great advice here.

    I always thought Wellbutrin is a SNRI. You learn something everyday.

  4. shirley1259

    shirley1259 New Member

    One of the best AD's that I took for depression was well-butrin. Effexor worked well for me too now I cant take either of them because of the cost and I am using prozac. I dont feel that it helps my depression as well as the effexor or well-butrin but at least Im not suicidal so I guess it is working to some degree. I hope you can find a good psychiatrist or even a good counselor to help you.I have been so blessed with all the doctors that I have it breaks my heart to hear about so many people having troubles with theirs. I hope you can find some relief from the pain you are suffering.
  5. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    If you read my profile, you can see what has helped me. Maybe some modalities you
    will want to try.

    Hope you can find some help.

  6. SnooZQ

    SnooZQ New Member

    About the psychiatrist's stated belief ... possibly this is based on his/her however many years of clinical experience, as well as some of the research out there.

    OR if he/she is out to sell you on a lot of hours of talk therapy, might that be a factor? I'm not saying that talk therapy is bad ... sometimes it is helpful but you are in the best position to determine whether & how much you have to talk through. It can be expensive.

    It's only human to want to believe the TV ads that bombard us everyday, as well as those relatively short-term published studies (the ones with positive results) sponsored by the drug manufacturers.

    The truth is that each of us has certain unique aspects to our psychological and biochemical makeup. Most of the ADs address only a few of the biochemical issues related to depression.

    It occurs to me that if you are experiencing 24 - 28 hr. episodes of severe depression, you may have some type of cyclical mood disorder. Cyclical mood disorders can co-occur in the context of an overall depression. It is important that you bring that aspect of your depression up with your doctor, if you have not already done so.

    In most people, a psych med has certain effects at first, and then a degree of adaptation occurs as the brain tries to maintain homeostasis.

    As for the SNRIs recommended by AussieWoman: consider them, yes. However you have already tried Cymbalta which is in that category, so you may want to request your doc start you off on a very low dose, with other ADs in that category. For those who respond well to SNRIs, they can be great . But for those who don't respond well, SNRI side effects can be truly crap.

    The majority of psychiatrists my family has encountered (many) over the years, have worked within their little "box" of psychiatry, without much consideration for how the overall health of the individual contributes to depression.

    In middle-age men, there are off the top of my head a number of health factors that can contribute to depression. Testosterone/DHEA deficiency is a big one. So is thyroid function. If you have not had blood tests of the hormone levels run recently, and a complete thyroid panel including free T3, free T4 plus thyroid antibodies, run recently, I urge you to find a doc who will order those tests.

    Treating a hormone deficiency, or a thyroid disorder, may not outright cure a severe depression, however there is a chance that such treatments may lessen the severity of the depression to some extent. In Europe it is common to augment AD therapy with T3 thyroid med, unless there is a contra-indication such as hyperthyroidism. European doctors have found that the T3 augmentation is very helpful in treatment-resistant depressions.

    I guess I'm pretty big on checking out the basics because my Mom suffered from severe treatment-resistant depression for decades. She had several long-term psych hospitalizations plus numerous short-term acute stays in regular hospital. At least three series of ECT. WAs tried on every med available & many combinations. Was on enough drugs to put down an elephant. This while under the care of her big-city psychiatrist.

    It was only once Mom came under the care of a country GP (no psychiatrist available) that it was discovered that her thyroid was shot. Long story short, once thyroid hormone was replaced with a daily pill, she was able to wean off of 95% of her psych meds. Sixteen years without a relapse, one low-dose SSRI per day along with the thyroid hormone replacement. AND she now has a life, productive, social, happy.

    Fredt brought up a number of things you should carefully research/consider. Sometimes "fixing" a nutrient deficiency can help your body tolerate meds better.

    Our family is a huge fan of the work of Daniel Amen, M.D. and the Amen Clinics. You may have seen Dr. Amen on one of his many PBS specials. The Amen Clinics recognize at least six different subtypes of depression, based on brain function (SPECT imaging analysis). There are a number of Amen Clinic outposts around the country. Their diagnostic & imaging tools are quite helpful in pinpointing which meds & which alternative/nutrition approaches are most likely to be helpful. If you are interested in learning more, check out the book, Healing Anxiety and Depression, by Daniel Amen.

    Should other approaches fail, or depending on your inclination, you may want to research/discuss with your doc, some of the relatively new tech helps for depression. A series of transcranial-magnetic stimulation , or a vagal nerve stimulator -- there may be things other than medication that can help.

    The important thing is to keep hope alive -- which is very difficult to do when battling depression, I know.

    Best wishes to you.

    [This Message was Edited on 06/19/2010]
  7. Misfit101

    Misfit101 New Member

    Youve gotten some great advice that i cant add to. SnooZQ brought up a point i was thinking as i was readin. Low testerone. I was severely depressed until i got on hormones. Im a 52yo woman btw and i dont know all the ways low T can affect a man. It would be good for your dr to do some testing on you to rule out any hidden medical problems 1st. Hormones worked some kind of miracle for me. I still get "down" sometimes but thats situational. Good luck to you...i hope you find the answer and solution whatever it way be. Dont give up!
  8. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    Hi joeb7th,

    How are you feeling today?? I really understand how you're feeling, been dealing w major D for 15 yrs or so. I've taken MANY ADs, mood stabilizers, anti seizure meds, benzos, stimulants, supplements, therapy, you name it.

    It took me several yrs and many months of suffering before I realized how sensitive I was to these meds and their side effects. I saw several different psychiatrists over the yrs and some of them just filled me to the brim w pills, it was ridiculous and I didn't know any better back then. I just knew I wanted to die and if I didn't try something, I wouldn't survive.

    Long story short, took almost all of the SSRIs, SNRIs, Depakote, Lamictal, Trileptal, thyroid meds, Lithium, benzos and many others in various combinations. I've suffered weightgain, drowsiness, dizziness, sleeplessness, sleepiness, sexually related problems (what's sex? I almost forgot there for awhile!), you name it. The only AD that hasn't caused me horrible side effects and has helped me, is Prozac. It's not perfect, but I feel better with it than without it.

    Wellbutrin was given to me in the hopes it would pep me up as well since it is somewhat stimulating. Well, after a short time, it built up in my system and made me a raging lunatic. My hands tremored so badly all of the time, I could barely sign my name. And irritability...that's an understatement.

    Effexor was so so, only at the lowest dose avail. At "normal" range doses, I had what I called Ice Water Headaches and a strange feeling in my head that I couldn't tolerate. Also, depr stayed the same pretty much. Lots of people like it, but also it's supposed to be hard to wean off of at normal/higher doses. I recently tried Pristiq which is an altered version of Effexor, but it had the same effect on me as the Eff.

    There's situational depr and physiological depression, I've dealt w both. All the therapy in the world can't fix you if your body is unable to biochemically produce the right neurotransmitters for proper mood function. Been there, done that.

    SSRI, SNRI and SSNRIs only selectively limit the reuptake, or reabsorbtion (so to speak) of Serotonin and NorEpi. If you don't have enough of these floating around in your brain synapses, a reuptake inhibitor will not make you feel better. You will need to be treated w something to help produce more of these neurotransmitters from step one.

    Docs often don't do labs to check hormones, thyroid and neurotransmitter levels. You probably need to specify that you want further testing done if they don't offer it. I just had a bunch of bloodwork done myself, waiting for the results. My general practice doc actually is more knowledgeable and interested in this stuff than any psychiatrist ever was...they just hand out pills for the most part.

    I recently started taking 10mg Pregnenolone which is a form of a steroid (sold OTC by the supplements). It's a natural substance that your body normally produces from the cholesterol in your system. It is a precursor to several things, including hormones and several others. Doc wanted me to take it for 2 wks to see if I felt better mood-wise and fatigue-wise. I don't know if it's related, but after about 4 days, my mood and energy levels improved. I go back in to the Dr in a wk to be rechecked, more bloodwork etc. Who knows...maybe it's the placebo effect, but that doesn't normally happen w me, usually nothing makes me feel better.

    I also take Vit D3 and lots of Bs. I am in the dreaded pre-menopause stage now, so my hormones are also a factor. Too many things going on in this worn out body! It's hard to figure out a good treatment option w so many variables.

    I don't know how these drs can refuse to treat you, but I know someone that this has also happened to. They will get perturbed if you are "non-compliant" and don't follow their treatment plan.

    I've "had words" w doctors in order to get them to believe that I can only tolerate baby doses of many of these meds. Something a "normal" person can tolerate will knock me out, make me sick, etc. I believe in the theory "start low and go slow" when it comes to rx meds, but it took me a few yrs to figure that one out, duh........

    Also, the darned insurance companies rule the world unfairly. Doctors are paid by these fools, therefore they practice according to what pays the best. I recently had the ins co refuse to pay for a generic med, but made me get the name brand (which were a little different cuz it was an old med)...My copay is the same for generic and name brand, so it was strange , and the generic wasn't on the new formulary list so I would have to pay the whole amt out of pocket. My dr said that ins cos make deals w drug cos that offer to pay more for prescribing their meds. Grrr......

    Soooo, keep trying to find the right doc. If they're being jerks, you don't need them! I know how hard it is to dr shop when you're depressed, almost impossible.

    I also had to do this w therapists, they vary so much in the way you can relate to them. Therapy has never helped me too much because my problem is genetic and biochemical for the most part. I needed more physical/biochem related treatment to get my neuros balanced, we're still working on it.

    I hope you're getting some useful info on this thread, sorry I rambled so. I personallly have lived and suffered thru way too much of this sh!T, I wish I had had someone to support and educate me when it all began. I started treatment before the beloved internet was available, we are so fortunate now to have so many resources at our fingertips.

    Best of luck to you, keep asking questions, I'll be keeping an eye out to see how you're doing.

    xoxo Hermit
    ;[This Message was Edited on 06/19/2010]
  9. Empower

    Empower New Member

    I truly am sorry you are feeling so bad. I have struggled with depression on my life, had so pretty bad periods, so I know what you are going through

    I too have trouble with side effects from A/d's. There are very few that I can take. I too had terrible experiences with some - like Prozac, Nortriptylene (sp)??, and others that I can't remember

    I think the key is to find a good psychiatrist (not MD) that KNOWs the ins and outs of all the A/d's and work with them. I have found that the very best thng for me to do was to start out on a VERY VERY low dose and VERY VERY gradually work my way up

    The ones that have worked for me are Elavil - at an extremely low dose
    Effexor XR - again, an extremely low dose

    I think those are the only two that I have been able to tolerate

    The key is to let you doctor know immediately when you start experiencing side effects

    Also, a good therapist once a week helped me too I know it is hard to find a good one. You just start calling and maybe talking to them and ask them what style of therapy they use. You go to the appt and if you don't think it is a good match, you tell them so. It was very hard for me to do this, but those are the exact words I used "we aren't a good match" Why waste time?

    You CAN feel better. There were days that I couldn't even get out of bed, so I know how bad it gets and nobody understands unless they have been through it

    I don't LIKE a/d' at all, but I knew when I unfortunately had to take them

    And I DO know that you HAVE to get out of the house, no matter how you feel mentally or physically, even it is just for 1/2 hour to go to a coffee shop

    Take care and I really hope you find the help you deserve
  10. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    Yep, I've been labeled as having unipolar...or low and lower moods, major Depr disorder, whatever!

    My docs used the mood stabilizers to see if it would augment the ADs, not necessarily because my moods were fluctuating. They give anti-psychotics for this purpose also. My dd is bipolar, so I've seen alot of meds in our house (unfortunately).

    I did try Remeron, it was WAY too sedating for me. I know a lady who gained probably 60-80 lbs from that one, and she acted like a zombie, poor thing.

    It's always such a long, trial and error process with ADs. Nobody can really understand this depr monster unless they've lived it. I wouldn't wish it on anyone...even if I was furiously mad at them!!

    Glad you found something to help you, we are all our own chemistry experiment!!!

    xoxo H
  11. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    A chemistry experiment. Yes.

    Some psychiatrist are using electrical shock therapy for med. resistant depression.

    When first hearing about this, I recoiled, but after doing some research, found that it is certainly not like the old days as shown in "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest". You are not awake, not given as strong a dose and fewer side effects but still some short term memory loss.

    When I was in the hospital, there were a couple of people who were getting this and seemed to be doing better. However, not everyone qualifies for this and only one doctor would administer the treatment but of course this is only antecdotal.

    Please do not think I am advocating this for you Joel. It is just another option. One that I would have never thought should even be considered for humane reasons. Who would have thought it.

    Has anyone else had experience with the supposed "kinder and gentler" EST?


    ETA I think genetics are a huge component in depression. On my mother's side it doesn't just run but gallops through the family.

    [This Message was Edited on 06/19/2010]
  12. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    You said you use a mood stabilizer to augment your AD. So do I. I take Lamictal and it is used for a lot of different reasons. It really is a wonder drug.

    What are you on?

    If you are on trileptal which is in the same class of meds., it caused my sodium and chloride levels to crash and I ended up in the hospital. It is now known that this medication can do that. My doctor reported my reaction.

    Maybe none of my business, but sometimes I worry.

    We think my grandfather on my mom's side was bipolar. He passed himself off as a doctor, sold sham medication (basically water, flavoring and alcohol) and was adored by his many female followers. He almost got in trouble when he signed a death certificate. Fortunately, he was not treating the man but was a neighbor who was also sucked in by him.

    Hmmmmm, Dr. Freud, did something just slip out?

    Take care.
  13. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    My father was never diagnosed as bipolar, but I really think he was. He'd go from angry, growling, belittling us kids to hyper and singing and whistling. He would get so obsessed w things and work on major projects for a zillion hours.

    He had a brother who was bipolar, really bad case. Was hospitalized and had some bad shock treatments in the 50's that messed him up pretty badly. It wasn't really discussed amongst the family until many yrs later.

    Dad's sister was high strung and full of anxiety, I remember her as a trembling, worried little lady. There were 3 other bros and sisters that I don't think had any problems. As I mentioned before, my daughter is bipolar and there is depression present in 3 of my nieces and nephews. We got thrown into the defective gene pool for sure.

    Currently, I only take Prozac (20-40mg daily depending on how I'm feeling, more during PMS is a necessity) and Trazodone 50mg for sleep. I tried Trileptal, Depakote, Lamictal and Lithium in the past along w ADS. I could not function for the most part when taking any of these. I remember being sooo tired, dizzy, sick to my stomach, you get the picture.

    I recently detoxed off of pain meds and also stopped taking Ativan to clean out my system. Feeling much better after 4.5 mos...I just posted on the opiate addiction thread about that today.

    I have a very good friend who is bipolar w horrible depressive, suicidal episodes. A couple of yrs ago she had several ECT treatments, and unfortunately they didn't help her. She lost quite a bit of memory including her 3 kids' names and she didn't know where anything was in her kitchen cupboard when she got home.

    She has never been the same since, but her bipolar has gotten worse along w some major back surgeries. Poor thing. I don't think the ECT hurt her other than the memory issues, but it really frightened her (even tho she was asleep during the procedure). Drs wanted her to keep coming back for several blocks of sessions, but she refused after about 6 or so.

    As usual, we are all different, so it's so hard to evaluate what will work for each of us.

    Joeb...take this info carefully, but use it to your advantage when finding the right doc. At least you'll have a list of questions to take with you..that's a good thing to do, especially when you're depressed and spaced out (like me).

    Happy days will come. I'm getting a new puppy this week, so that will be my new AD!!!
  14. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Did you know that bipolar is easier to cure than depression? At least that is what my psychiatrist from a long time ago said.

    Hey I am in the chitchat chat room. Join me!! I can tell you some funny stories about my grandfather.

  15. victoria

    victoria New Member

    I'd just like to add, you might at some point want to request your medical records.... I'd think you could even from a hospital. I've heard some pretty strange stories about what people have found in their records - info from someone else's life was in their reports by mistake, sometimes doctors write their "impressions" which can be quite wrong, etc.

    Here's a post I'd started a long time ago about how to do it, I hope it helps. These doctors may be giving you a hard time because your records are incorrect. Even if you think they mayhave a reason... there may be something really wrong in your records.

    Hope that helps, and I hope you find a doctor who's willing to work with you trying different 'cocktails' of meds if need be, even. Sometimes it does take more than one.

    all the best,

  16. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    I have been curious about EST and want to do more research. I know it is not for everyone but supposedly not like it used to be?

  17. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Joebth has not posted back. Joebth, please let us know how you are doing?


    ETA He has not been on here in over 24 hours. I hope we did not overwhelm him.[This Message was Edited on 06/19/2010]
  18. victoria

    victoria New Member

    was bought out by some of the former teachers, who turned it into something better imho.
    It is now called Landmark, first course is the Forum.

    It has turned many people's lives around, tho it is not meant to be psychotherapy.
  19. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Good info. One for the files!!

    You described the above to a T and that is what worries me.

    Take care.
  20. S-Elaine

    S-Elaine Member


    Let me share some of my recent story with you and please know there is HELP out there. Finding it is tough and waiting it out is ----- Hellish. Yet, it is worth it & YOU MATTER !!

    I’ll cut and paste some information about me from previous posts. You can find more of my FULL Story of MASSIVE Depressive Disorder on the “Depression” Board and on the “Chit Chat” Board.

    The meds I tried that were unsuccessful were: Lexapro, Cymbalta, Pristiq, Zoloft, Effexor, Xanex & Buspar.

    I am finding success with an older med ------ LUVOX

    I already take at night for Depression & Sleep ----- Remeron & Pamelor

    Here is some background information on me below I previously posted …..

    It has been 5 to 5 & ½ months ago when I was given the label of ….. “Major Depressive Disorder”. I do not recall the last time I battled Depression it being as difficult and challenging as this has been for me.

    There are moments when I wonder and question ….. “Do I exist?? If I do, then why have I not been returned to my full self yet? Where is the rest of me hiding?”

    Within my immediate Family, I know only 2 of them do care about me and they only want the best for me.

    I approach every day with a positive attitude. I keep trying to make my days as normal as they can be and I try to fall back towards the routine / or schedule I had before.

    Of course, there are major UPS and DOWNS. I love the ups. They are so wonderful and while you are “in the moment” you are re-connected to your old self and who you really are deep down inside. You feel so alive and your ZEST for life comes back full force. During these times, I then often then find myself singing or dancing. Doing something more on the “silly” side that makes me laugh!

    When I laugh, it reminds me of laughter from the past. I know I use to laugh a lot before all of this took place with me. The laughter makes me know the real me is still there. You see bits and pieces of yourself shining through during your ups.

    During the “DOWN” moments or days, I do find myself questioning ---- “Is this really happening? Do I matter? Do I even matter to anyone at all? Why does all of this hurt so much? When will things finally change? Will they really even change at all? How much longer can I go like this? Can I continue like this until I make a full Recovery? I know I have made improvement in many areas, will it all kick in or fall into place once I am 1 full year out from all of this?”

    The “down” days are the worst and most difficult to get through. As negative thoughts enter my mind, I try as hard as I can to think of something POSITIVE or I try and do something that will overall be HEALTHY for me. That is one of my coping mechanisms to battle the negative thoughts.

    You have to fight very hard on those days and I find it has become best for me to solely rely only on myself for comfort. At least I know …… I won’t let myself down! With no expectations, there is no disappointment that follows.

    It seems many people often say to me ….. “I have a lot going on in my life too and I am very, very busy. Everyone has things going in their lives”

    My weekly Counseling Sessions are very “therapeutic” to me. I enjoy and even look forward to talking to my Counselor. At times, there can be so many “distractions” or “stressors” that are tossed into my court. It has become the “norm” and my Counselor and I even LAUGH about it. We laugh about ….. “How much more bizarre can this be? What will my TOXIC Family Members be doing next??”

    As we laugh, we do of course realize it is true and these are issues I address and come up with a solution for. OR, preventative measures!!

    I have been hanging in with my Psychiatrist waiting for the proper Anti-Depressant hoping he can find it and I am not dragged back to the Hospital.

    Getting a proper Anti-Depressant in place will be helpful. My Psychiatrist will make his next move tomorrow. Maybe the 4th, 5th or 6th time will be a CHARM!! Regardless, I’m not counting on it. I can wait it out if need be. I am standing on Firm ground and I know it will not be pulled out from underneath me.

    After Care and learning how to “Work The Program” is key as you are in Recovery Mode. These things are up to YOU and only you have the power to change things. Each day requires work. Change in a positive way is what I keep striving for. With each improvement I make, it inspires me to go further. It inspires me to continue on my pathway.

    I look forward to reaching the next DOOR. My frame of mind is …. Anything is possible, so why not do what is required to reach that next DOOR? Imagine what can be behind it?

    These are my thoughts and all of this has been part of my Journey in Recovering from Major Depressive Disorder.

    Take care,
    == Elaine