Maxine's way versus Martha's way

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by jaltair, Nov 29, 2006.

  1. jaltair

    jaltair New Member

    *Martha's Way*
    Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

    *Maxine's Way *
    Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

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    *Martha's Way*
    To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

    *Maxine's Way *
    Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

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    *Martha's Way*
    When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

    *Maxine's Way *
    Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.
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    *Martha's Way*
    If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

    *Maxine's Way *
    If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

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    *Martha's Way*
    Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

    *Maxine's Way *
    Celery? Never heard of it!

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    *Martha's Way*
    Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

    *Maxine's Way *
    The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.
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    *Martha's Way*
    Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

    *Maxine's Way *
    Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!
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    *Martha's Way*
    If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

    *Maxine's Way *
    Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
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    *Marta’s Way*
    Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

    *Maxine's Way *
    Leftover wine??????????? HELLO !!!!!!!


  2. Redwillow

    Redwillow New Member

    lol lol

    Thanks for the giggles
    Redwillow
  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    3 0r 4 times. It always strikes me as funny.

    Of course Marthla strikes me as funny. I remember a Christmas show she did showing how to make a spectacular ginger bread house.

    At one point she said, "And my staff made these lovely caramel windows."

    So now you too can be a perfect homemaker. All you need is a staff.

    ("Marthla" is not a typo. It's how Gordon always refers to Ms. Stewart.)
  4. mezombie

    mezombie Member

    LOL! Maxine is so much more fun! My kind of person,definitely!

    Thanks for the laughs!

    Zombie
  5. caffey

    caffey New Member

    Just what I needed today.
    Cath
  6. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    Years ago Saturday Night Live did a parody on Martha. It was "Martha Stewart's Topless Christmas". It was really funny! Of course there were those little blurred areas placed right where they should be!

    Hugzz
    Greenbean

    Stop and smell the puppies!
  7. mary124

    mary124 New Member

    Just what I needed today. Thanks for the laughter.
  8. nerdieduckie

    nerdieduckie New Member

    That was cute. I especially loved Maxine's solution for the lime.