May I recommend a new Resident Doctor for the chit chat board ...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by JimB51, Jun 9, 2010.

  1. JimB51

    JimB51 Member

    I love this Doctor!

    An Interview with Dr. Feelgood.
    Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
    A: Your heart only good for so many beats, don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heartbeats does not make you live longer; it's like saying that you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer?
    Take nap.

    Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
    A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What do cows eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). Pork chops can give you 100% of the recommended daily allowance of vegetables.

    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
    A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine ... that means they take water out of the fruit which means that you get a purer, more concentrated fruit benefit. Bottom up!

    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
    A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain ... Good!

    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
    A: YOU're NOT LISTENING! Food is fried in vegetable oil these days. In fact, they are permeated by it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?!?

    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a large around the middle?
    A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
    A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It the best "feel-good" food around!

    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
    A: If swimming good for your figure, explain the whale blubber to me..

    Q: Is it important that I be in shape?
    A: Everyone needs to be in shape. 'Round' a shape!

    Doctor's comment: I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food, exercise and diets.

    And remember:
    Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather ... be a skid - Champagne in one hand - chocolate in the other - screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

    [This Message was Edited on 06/10/2010]
  2. Beadlady

    Beadlady Member

    this doctor

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