Medical Insurance explained

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Catseye, Jan 17, 2008.

  1. Catseye

    Catseye Member


    Q. What does HMO stand for?

    A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.


    Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?

    A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two categories--those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third-world country.


    Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?

    A. No. Only those you need.


    Q. Can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions?

    A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.


    Q What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

    A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.


    Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?

    A. Poke yourself in the eye.


    Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?

    A. Not ! a good idea; you really shouldn't do that.

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    Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?

    A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20 co-payment, why not give it a shot?


    Q. Will health care be different in the next century?

    A. Probably not, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.


  2. ckball

    ckball New Member

    That is so close to the true it's almost not funny :)Good one-I hadn't seen this one-Carla
  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    said just what I was going to say. This illustrates that great minds run in the same channel. (Probably true for small minds too.)

    Now that I'm retired I don't belong to Kaiser anymore. I guess I'm missing out on their latest benefit: drive-thru surgery.

    [This Message was Edited on 01/17/2008]
  4. Waynesrhythm

    Waynesrhythm Member

    Hi Karen,

    Sure got a kick out of these. It wouldn't be so funny if it weren't so close to the truth.

    Thanks :)