Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Kathleen12, Aug 2, 2006.

  1. Kathleen12

    Kathleen12 New Member

    It appears to me that alot of us have at one time lost a pet. And I was wondering if anyone would like to share a fond memory or the pain of it's loss. I will start it by a brief memory of my Annie:

    She was my very first dog. We have always had dogs in the family, but they were kind of "family" dogs. So when I got my first job as a teen-ager, I searched long and hard for the right dog for me. I visited many litters of various breeds and found this little girl..a mix of Black Lab and Golden retriever.

    I brought her home and went through great pains insuring that she bonded with only me. No one else was to feed her, groom her, or otherwise play with her until I got home from work. And boy did we bond! She was very social with everyone she met, but it was apparent that she was my heart and I was hers.

    When she was 9 months old, I started allowing her to accompany me on my horseback rides through the woods which she dearly loved.

    On our 4th trip through the woods, I heard her barking and knew it wasn't the "fun bark" I was used to hearing from her. It was a frantic bark. Then I saw her leap into the air with a yelp, and heard the dreadful ratteling of a rattle snake!

    She ran up beside me and upon my examination, she appeared to be ok, but I brought her home just in case....

    When I got home with her, I looked at her more closely and discovered 2 little drips of blood above her eye, and noticed that her face was beginning to swell.

    In a panic, I cried to my father to let me take her to the vet as I didn't have my job then and had no money. Neither did he, and I couldn't get her any medical help. all I could do was hold her in my lap while her whole head and throat swole bigger and bigger. The whole time I was sobbing uncontrolably.

    My little Annie finally passed away in my arms, and I could not speak about her for months without crying. Even when someone tried to console me, I would have to excuse myself from them in order to fight back the pain.

    Yes, this was a sad story, but I have never been able share this with anyone and am hoping that others here may have similar stories or even happier stories about their beloved pets they'd like to share with us.
  2. kellygirl

    kellygirl Member

    Yanni, a border-collie mix, was adopted from the SPCA 12 years ago. I am guessing she must be 14 now. She chose us when we arrived to look at the dogs. She must have been hurt along the way. She was afraid of everything: stairs, noises, streets, even ceiling fans. She had run off the leash when I was letting her into the house right after we brought her home. There was snow and ice on the roads. A truck slid into her and she ran. I went looking for her with my 3 cats following me throughout the neighborhood (no lie). Would you believe, with Yanni not knowing the neighborhood, she climbed up the ice-covered steps of my back porch and was laying in the darkness at my back door? She had found her way home. She cuddled into my lap on the floor. I knew that we would be close after that. She still gets aggressive once in awhile, but I just give her her own space when she regresses. You see, I, too, suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I think this is the bond that we have, from past hurts. She is so intuned to my feelings as I am to hers. God, I will miss her! This is the 2nd dog I have had that has lived to an old age, that I have loved a lot. She has arthritis and hobbles, her eyes aren't as good anymore. She is on medication for her thyroid. But, she still plays and tries to run after the rabbits!
  3. Kathleen12

    Kathleen12 New Member

    That is such a sweet story. It is amazing how animals tune into us. Yanni knew that she was for you and that you were for her. That is also amazing how she knew that was her home on that first day. by the way...Border collies are WONDERFUL breeds. Thank you for sharing.
  4. MamaDove

    MamaDove New Member

    We had black and yellow males allready and wanted to complete the colors so we started to look for a chocolate boy...

    We decided to try and do the right thing and rescue one...We contacted Long Island rescue and were told of a family out east who just had a child and needed to give up "Moose"...We went and saw Moose but my instincts told me NO, he's not for us...He was head shy and uncontrollable and for a 3 year old, this was unacceptable and I certainly couldn't chance his issues with my two boys...


    We decided to get a puppy and came across an ad for field trial pups out east...I researched the breeder and was told he was the best...Most were spoken for and there were only 2 males left...One nicknamed Buddha Boy and one Pretty Boy.
    We couldn't make the choice that day and wanted to sleep on it so instead we discussed things with the breeder...We felt comfortable with him...We went back home and my husband and I went back and forth between Buddha and Pretty Boy...For me, it wasn't that perfect feeling I had with my other two, like they were meant to be with me...What I didn't know was my husband had other plans...He decided that the first one to come to him on his own and kiss him, was going home with us...

    We went back on a Friday afternoon, Doug knelt down by the pen and Pretty Boy ran right to him and kissed him...My hubby never had dogs and didn't pick out Dylan and Dayne, I did...So I let this one go...He was gonna be a Papa's boy!

    All 3 were like real brothers, it took much effort on my part, but hey, I'm the Mama...Never a growl, never a fight, play fights yeah, but none knew how to bite to hurt...We moved to Maine shortly after and began a new life...Everything was wonderful until I took them into the vet for their checkups...The vet indicated they should have boosters and gave me the speech "the benefits far outweigh the risks"...Well, days later, on Moose's 2nd birthday, he had his first grandmal seizure...

    To make a very long story, shorter...That day began the first day of the rest of my life...I researched every article on every site, spoke to everyone I could to find the best treatment I could, all the while looking to CURE him of this monster...He was highly medicated but you would never know it, his loving personality always intact UNTIL last April...The seizures came and wouldn't stop, he got aggressive with his brothers and It was clear I could no longer lift him and save him from the damage he would do to himself with every passing seizure...It was also jeopardizing my husband's health by lack of sleep not to mention the constant care and worry over him...We sacrificed for almost 5 years to keep him with us...We didn't go out much only to shop and do necessary things, we didn't vacation or even think about staying overnite anywhere...Moose came first...ALWAYS!!!

    After trying every vet in the area, we finally found someone who "GOT IT"...No more shots, no drugs other than his anti-seizure meds and just trying to keep him as healthy as possible was our goal...He was willing to help guide us through the rest of my Woobie's life...

    After an entire night of seizing, we brought him in to have them look him over and watch over him...We were exhausted! He was nearly blind, incoherent and it was docs opinion that this time was going to be the last battle in Moose's life...All the times prior we would take him to the neuro clinic, they would bring him back and I would rehab him at home...Everytime they told me he wouldn't come back mentally, we would work harder and prove them wrong...All the specialists were shocked that he would always come back to his Mama and Papa...

    Moose left us physically on April 21st, 2005...The worst day of my life so far...We fought so damn hard for this boy and belive me, I lost years off my life physically and mentally, but I would do it all again and even trade the rest of my days for one more day with him...Call me crazy, but my beautiful boy was so wonderful...He kept fighting cause we kept fighting...This day we knew would be difficult but we couldn't let him go through one more day like that...No more pain in his head, no more medication, no more monsters to try and run away from, just PEACE!!!

    Life is not the same, nor will it ever be again...In anotehr post I explain what am impact he made upon our lives and the lessons he taught us as well as everyone around us learning what unconditional love truly is...

    BTW, the reason he picked my husband we didn't know until that day in 2000...My husband has epilepsy too and I know Moose knew that his new Papa would know how to help him...
    Like dozens have told me, Moose lived his best life cause he was with us...I believe that with all my heart...

    When he first came back from the neuro clinic after a week, the movie Tarzan came on while I was holding him (my 100 pound blanket)...The song, "You'll be in my Heart" began and from a sound sleep, he opened his eyes and looked into my soul...I promised him that day forward I would be with him to the very end...And I was...I sung that song to him everyday and it was the last thing he heard as he slipped away forever...

    Thank you for asking us to share our stories...It has helped me to grieve for my boy (which I am still doing over a year later)...I made a scrapbook for him, I put pictures, poems and memorials in my local paper (I have one in my profile, for his 1st year in Heaven)I will never stop loving him or missing and as difficult as it was, I would do it all over again, FOR HIM...

    MamaDove was Moose's name for me (given to me by my husband), it means Mama's Love in Moose talk...I forgot to add that we named him Moose as a nice gesture to the dog we did not rescue...Believe me, He lived up to the name Moose...Big schnoob (our name for his nose), large feet and big floppy ears...So Majestic's Maine Moose was his full AKC name...Pretty Boy stuck too cause they didn't come any prettier than him...See my profile now...

    I "Dove" you, Son...

    Peaceful days ahead~Alicia
    [This Message was Edited on 08/02/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 08/02/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 08/02/2006]
  5. Fudge43

    Fudge43 New Member

    I appreciate these personal pet stories here .. it makes me glad to see people that truly love their furry souls.

    It is still a little too early for me to talk about my precious girl .. she was the most extraordinary cat I have ever been blessed to know and love.

    We have our two other little fur balls here and love them to bits .. but I will miss my Molly for life.
    Thank you for telling your stories.
  6. MamaDove

    MamaDove New Member

    for those who wish to share...
  7. Kathleen12

    Kathleen12 New Member

    Thank you for the bump. I loved your heartwrenching story about your baby and his seizures. There again is another story of how pets can sense the needs in their humans. I know the pain was unbearable, but know that he passed while in the care of a very loving and strong family. I think that in turn, he also gave you more strength than you could otherwise have had. Thank you for sharing this.
  8. Kathleen12

    Kathleen12 New Member

    I understand the pain you are currently dealing with, but in time you will be able to share more. some who don't understand our relationships with animals will never understand and really won't care much.

    Whenever you are ready, even when this thread is tired and gone, please tell us about your precious kitty. I have 3 myself and have spent fortunes on vet care, routine and emergency. I sleep at night with all 3 curled up on my bed. One under the cover with me, one in the crook of my knees, and the other fighting for space with my Sheltie. Do you think I get any sleep??? Well noooo.

    Any way, thank you for your attempt and explanation and I look forward to hearing about her soon.
  9. nina_and_me

    nina_and_me New Member

    and the memory of my baby still bring tears to my eyes. I'v lost all of my grandparents, two dear friends, and my dad. None of those losses brought the pain that I've experienced since I lost Molly. I cannot tell you how much I miss her now - over a year later, I'm crying for her.

    I wrote this letter to her six months after she died. She would have been fourteen a few weeks after I wrote this letter.

    Dear Molly,

    I can’t believe that you’ve been gone for almost six months. Your birthday is coming up on Thursday, and you would have been 14. I miss you so much that it hurts. Maybe, since you’re in heaven, you can feel what I can’t say. I feel guilty because I love Amber, and I’m afraid that makes you feel bad. It doesn’t take away any of the love I have for you, and I will always love you most. I don’t think I knew what it was like to love and be loved until you and I moved into the apartment on Jefferson Highway. I remember taking you out to the field and walking all around with you. I miss that. I knew I would miss you, but I had no idea how much or how badly it would hurt when you were gone.

    Right after you died, I don’t know whether I fell asleep and had a dream or if God let me spend a little time up in heaven with you, but I hold on to that we will be together again someday. In the dream or vision, you were young, bright-eyed, and you had a puppy hair cut. In the dream, I wasn’t as tall as I am now, and you seemed bigger. You could run and jump like you used to, and I could, too. You could breathe easily, and I didn’t feel any pain at all. We played together in a sunny, grassy field, and we ran together in the grass. I had long hair that never needed to be brushed, and you had short hair that never needed to be cut. We both smelled perfect. You smelled like you always did, and I smelled like baby powder. Even though I didn’t look like I do now, you knew who I was. We played outside all day. There were swings and streams and beaches. There were other little girls there, too, but not very many. I held you and patted your head, and you wagged your tail. It never got dark, but when we wanted to rest, there was a stone cottage not far from the beach, where we could lay down together in a room just like the bedroom I have now. In the dream, I knew it would be like that forever. I woke up with tears in my eyes, and I knew you were safe.

    On your birthday, I’m going to spend some time remembering our time together, and how very much you gave to me. I want to do something special in your memory. I just don’t know to do. Maybe I can go to that field where we used to walk. Maybe I’ll get some winter flowers for your grave and put a border all the way around your grave. I want to make a memory book for you, but I haven’t been able to do that because I get so emotional. Maybe another miracle will happen and I’ll have another one of those dreams that will bring me comfort. I wish I would die today, because I want to experience that dream forever and spend the rest of my life with you and God and everyone else who will be with us. I want to smell you and feel your head and your fur and sleep with you next to me. Maybe you don’t have to sleep in Heaven. Maybe we can just fly around and rest whenever we feel like it.

    I’ll never stop missing you and loving you. Nothing has been the same since you died. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I’ll see you as soon as its time.


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