Men: Were You An Overachiever?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Marta608, May 15, 2006.

  1. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    I keep hearing and reading that women with CFS have been overachievers before getting sick (and I must admit, it fits me). Is that true with the men here as well?

    Marta
  2. jakeg

    jakeg New Member

    Yes it is for me. Before I was hit with this beer truck at my last review I was told that I was at the top of my salary range and that the next time they would have to re-examine my position so that I could keep climbing the ladder.

    Jake
  3. mrpain

    mrpain New Member

    Define overachiever....
    [This Message was Edited on 05/15/2006]
  4. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    You just did.

    In case I'm being too obtuse (and since I am, after all, an overachiever): A perfectionist, a person who must do all things as perfectly as they can be done, always. A person who, while they may admit to a scale of 1 - 10 in perfection for other people, strives to remain in the top 9- 10% in all responsibilities (but who often strikes out in personal relationships because human beings just aren't perfect). A person for whom "good enough" is never good enough.

    And, at the same time, a person who gets an incredible amount done in a short amount of time and who is often very knowledgeable in many areas. A Type A personality.

    That.

    Marta

  5. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I dont consider myself an overachiever"" but I always have been A people pleaser.I have always put others before myself.I'm a giver and I find it hard to ask for help for me but Ive always volunteed to help someone else.I think a lot of people with CFS/FM fit that"People Pleaser" thing
  6. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    More true of women, I think. You are a woman, too, right?

    Marta
  7. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Excellent point. I began "needing to" fix the world when I was a child. My mother was an alcoholic (now I see that she was terribly depressed and used alcohol to numb her pain) and often told me that "if it wasn't for you...". Of course, a kid believes that. After all, a parent said so. I never was able to fix that.

    I did grow up, after a fashion, went on to run businesses - my own and other people's. I was president of the local Chamber of Commerce. I did volunteer work. I raised two boys. I "got" CFS......

    I believe that we learn early to overstrive and, yes, CFS or another illness stops us short. I'm hoping that it's a matter of learning the lesson of moderation but at the same time I know my life, regardless of health, will never be the same.

    Marta
  8. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    My therapist said it was due to having parents who were impossible to please.

    But CFS slowed me down. Had to give up practicing law. I worked part time as a paralegal for 19 years. The last couple years could only do about 2 hrs a day.
  9. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Makes sense.

    Marta
  10. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    yup I'm a woman :)