Merry Christmas to my Female Friends

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by joyfully, Dec 24, 2006.

  1. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    Merry Christmas To My Female Friends

    If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do
    I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you
    And deliver some things just inside your front door
    Things you have lost, but treasured before.

    I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,
    And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
    Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
    Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.

    I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted
    So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
    I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
    Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

    I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin
    So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin
    You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells
    And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.

    No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes
    No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.
    Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny
    From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.

    You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take.
    And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache!
    Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid
    You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.

    I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle
    And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.
    But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me
    The matronest of matrons you ever did see.

    I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got
    But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.
    Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere
    Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year

  2. mollystwin

    mollystwin New Member

    I needed that!!
  3. MelaC

    MelaC New Member

    Now that is so nice, wouldn't it be great if we could do all that for our friends.

    Happy Christmas and a wonderful New Year

    Hugs Mela