Met w/my Attorney today...COCKATOOMOM UPDATE

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by CockatooMom, Nov 27, 2006.

  1. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    Well, The consultation cost me $175, but she cut to the chase and told me the deal.

    Because my husband is self-employed, my support would be based on his NET income off our tax returns. If I were to go to Domestic Relations, I would be eligible for 40% of his NET wages, which ends up not being much.

    The fact that he is cheating on me and living with another woman has no bearing on my case. Why? I don't understand it either. There are 3 ways to get a divorce in Pensylvania, 90 day agree to sign, 2 year no agree to sign, and another way that I didn't understand but didn't apply to me.

    So, I am accepting his offer to "take care of me" until I graduate, pass the NCLEX, and get my second paycheck from my new nursing job. We have no children, no property, no assests. We are keeping our individual vehicles.

    Now, I have to apply for medical assistance and make a list of monthly expenses to show how much I will need a week. He wants me to try to keep the rent down to $500 as much as possible. The divorce is going to cost me $1,500.00, but it's worth it to have her fighting for me.

    I started calling around today for apartments...all were $565, $695, $715, $805!!! It's CRAZY!

    Well, that's all. I'm doing a little better, but it still hurts REAL BAD. Someone told me he took her to the gym with him yesterday (something WE used to do together).

    (OK, I'm depressed again.)

    Take care all!
    Hugs & Love
  2. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    Is to accept things and work towards being a happy person without him.I to believe people get what they give.

    You seem like a very nice person I am sure God has a wonderful life planed for you.

    The sweetest revenge is to live well ,laugh offten ,and love Again .Trust God you will do them all.

    If you have a smart Lawer She can make it so he has to pay for your devorce because he cheated.

  3. boltchik

    boltchik New Member

    Carebelle has good advice. When we had to go through an ugly custody battle for my stepson, we responded to every hideous lie told about us in the court papers. After a while we learned to not get angry but to get on with our lives. Happiness with yourself is the best revenge, it shows that your husband can no longer hurt you. I am happy to say that after a few years, his ex got tired of trying to make us miserable and we all actually have a good working relationship now.

    I am sorry that you have to go through the pain of divorce. I just wanted to send positive thoughts and prayers your way. Take care, Kim :)
  4. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    You are right, Sean95, they don’t think about how adultery makes the spouse feel. I am very thankful that we may not have to go to court over this. With trying to finish this semester of nursing school (RN), fighting the depression, bipolar, and fibromyalgia…I’d end up in a padded room!

    I have about 3-4 very close friends, but they are all married (not necessarily happily) but have their own responsibilities and children to take care of.

    And I know what you mean about wanting to live somewhere safe!

    Oh, Prickles! I have had too many thoughts of vindictive revenge to care to admit, but I can already see I am growing in this process. I really WANT to let it (and him) go and feel peaceful. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still plenty mad, but I am trying to control my own behaviors instead of his. (Lost cause)

    I still wonder what God’s plan is for me, Carebelle, other than to be a newly divorced nurse! LOL I just pray that His will be done in my life. (Hope that doesn’t sound corny.) I’m not a very religious person, but am very spiritual and want peace and happiness. I also ask God to take away my anger.

    Boltchik (Kim) Happiness is the best revenge because I get to take MY power back!

    Gotta hit the bed…getting up at 4:30 AM to go to the hospital!

    Take care ALL! And thanks for the continued support!
  5. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    Guess what Admitting you have anger is the first step of getting rid of it. This is the season to replace the anger with Hope ,Love and New Beginnings.Anger is part of the grieving, it to will pass.

    count your blessings .You do not have children with him so that has to be a big relief.Sounds like your devorce should go fast so you can get on with your life.When you graduate you have a wonderful career ahead of you.Lots of new beginnings. You will not have time in your life for anger.
    If you feel it creeping in just say Been there Done that Time to move on. Then do something kind for YOURSELF.
    :) Have a good Day your will stay in my prayers.
  6. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    I turned in my application for medical assistance today. I do not qualify for low income "anything" because I have no children and I will be getting more than the minimum, even though NO ONE could live on the minimum!

    I decided not to go with the attorney I saw yesterday. I just CAN'T afford $1,500 for my divorce.

    I called legal services to see if they will help me. If not, I will find a less expensive attorney. No one wants to give a free consult around here unless it's for bankruptcy or accidents.

    I got very depressed today when I came home again. I'm SO FEARFUL of what my future holds. I don't know if I"m going to pass my classes, where I'm going to live and how much my husband is REALLY going to be willing to pay a month. And, he didn't work again today. Their work is slow right now.

    Please pray for me. I'm having a very hard time dealing with everything.

  7. LorieG

    LorieG New Member

    I think I remember you from the depression posting! Revenge, Im not even separated, but I have lots of them in the back of my mind, just in case I need them someday. You know what though....people need to be careful what they ask for, because sometimes when we actually get it, it is not so sweet. Im sure this will eventually catch up with you soon-to-be-ex! He asked for it, he got!!!!! Maybe he will be lucky enough to hook up with someone as thoughtless as him! OOOOOHHHHH, wont that be good! I would be VERY angry too! But at least you see him for who and what he is! That is not your fault, it is his choice.

    You, on the other hand, will get what you deserve too. Some peace of mind and headed on a path to find that special someone who chooses to be with you and loves you and supports you! Financial things are temporary things! You can always do better! Unanswered prayers can sometimes be a blessing too. I wish you all the best things. I know you will be okay. You are a good person and you will come out on top!

    Good luck!!!!