Mikies a woman and I feel alone now as a man.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by slopok8225, May 3, 2003.

  1. slopok8225

    slopok8225 New Member

    Some of you met me last month on the chat room and may have seen my posts but I always thought Mikie was a man.(Sory) I don't see or know any men in these rooms now. I haven't been on lately because I have been in my worste for about a month now. It is hard for me to relate to as many women here as there are. I really need some guys to chat with that can understand how hard it is to be the, the man of the house, the provider, The MAN. but I can't find that. I do appreciate all of the women here that have talked to me but I found that many talk to me for a few minutes than I can't get them to say anymore to me. Maybe because they feel the same they can't relate to me either. I get into the chat room and get instantly drowned by the fast chat and can't keep up with all the talking and by the time my message hits the room it has been pushed off screen before anyone sees it. OH well I guess I am just lettin off some steam and please ladies I am not blaming you its just that you all no I am in a very rare situation having FMS?CFS Lupus, Factor V, PTSD, RLS. and many others. so please dont be mad at me. Love Ya all Jim Slopok
  2. slopok8225

    slopok8225 New Member

  3. fibrorebel

    fibrorebel New Member

    I know, I am a woman and you asked for male response. I just wanted to let ya know that we are not offended. It is quite normal that you need to talk to some guys in this situation we are in, just as we have things that you guys don't have to deal with. Just so you know, there are quite a few men on this board now,,,, hopefully you will get them to respond. Welcome to the board BTW I think you will be amazed at how many men are in the same position you are.
    Love, Rebel
  4. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    You are mistaken, we do have quite a few men on this board. Madwolf comes to mind, he is Dr. Practitioner and is quite verbal here. In fact, he answers more questions then the rest of us do!

    There are several others too. I know men are not as talkative as us ladies are, but we do have a few that like to chat too.

    Just jump in when you see a post that interest you, and don't be intimated by the ladies. We won't bite, and many of us have the same problems with supporting families, etc. and some men do.

    As for the live Chat, I don't do the Chat line myself, it always gets off subject, and I get discouraged with them!

    Please give us a chance, you might be surprised.

    As for our Mikie, well she is really different, she used to be a pilot, flew her own plane, was a skier, and a whole lot of other(what most people would consider man things) things ! Plus she can hold her own on almost any subject you can come up with! She is one smart lady.

    You might want to check out the Chit Chat Board here (not the live chat), there are some nice people there that talk about just any subject you could think of.

    See? I am just chatting away with you! I confess, I have a husband that is a Chief Engineer on a Barge, two grown sons and a grandson. I like man talk, I get along with them quite well!

    Shalom, Shirl

  5. pogopossum

    pogopossum New Member

    .... The few times I went on chat I couldn't keep up with it either, I don't post here much due to CFS, brain fog, etc, my fatigue has kept me from relating with guys and gals alike. BTW, due to her handle I had figured Mikie for a guy as well. Anyway I still feel a great swell of support by reading the information exchange here, whoever the author is.

    If the gals do outnumber the guys a bit here I've sometimes thought that it is perhaps because women are (generally) more aware of themselves, notice their symptoms more than men do, communicate this better, and therefore have found their way here searching for answers, while many men plod along and suffer relatively unaware. How's that for a run-on sentence!

    Talk to you later, Chris

    [This Message was Edited on 05/04/2003]
  6. PatPalmer

    PatPalmer New Member

    I too for some time thought Mikie was a man, maybe she is and the recent hospital visit was really for a sex change!!!

    Mikie, i`m only joking, please don`t be offended.

    It`s an interesting fact that the ratio for this DD is so much higher in women than men, so unfortunately you will always be in the minority.
    It`s so nice to have men on this board - not enough, - not that I wish this illness on anyone either..

    Please don`t be put off, stay with us, we`re all here to help one another and whether you`re male or female makes no difference whatsoever. There are many people improving on this site, their info is invaluable. Stick around and keep reading the posts, this could be the start of recovery.

    I have learned so much from others on this board, and been able to help too.
    A wonderful guy called madwolf always responds, so you can be sure of his support Jim.

    I don`t use the chat room either, it`s not me, i`m more interested in how to get better than chatting. It`s amazing how some women can babble on forever about nothing in particular. So maybe i`m more a man in some ways.

    Have you used the chit chat board? That`s not so busy as this, - just goes to prove what the majotity prefer...

    I understand the stress it must be for you being the breadwinner so to speak. Do the boys live with you?

    I was a single mother for a while and it is such a worry, which only compounds to stress and the illness. Just read your bio and you must feel very let down and rejected by your ex wife, I am so sorry.

    There must be CFS/FM charity organisations who can perhaps put you in touch with other male sufferers? I live in England, so not able to help, but believe me when I say you could`nt find a better site than this for knowledge and support.

    Have you read up or have much knowledge about this DD?

    You will find articles posted by jellybelly very interesting, - on the Gulf War Syndrome, Mycoplasma, and one I have on Olive Leaf Extract.
    Tap these into the box at the top in "search messages" and a whole host of previous posts will pop up, browse through till one really sounds interesting. Jelly`s go back a long way so just have to keep pressing "previous" at the bottom.

    Stick around Jim, I promise you won`t regret it.

    Love Pat.

  7. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    If you only knew how happy all we women are when men join our board, you would see us doing the Happy Dance, well, as well as a bunch of stiff old overweight (in a lot of cases) women can dance :)

    I am sorry to disappoint, but we do have men here. In fact, more and more men as time goes on. Men tend to read more and respond less than the women, so it kinda skews the board more toward women. Madwolf is a Physicians Assistant with a big practice of people with our illnesses. AC77, whom I call Ace, is a doctor who comes here as often as he can. Madwolf and his wife both suffer our illnesses, as does Ace.

    Stick around; this place is great. Every treatment I have found to be effective has originated here. The people here are generous with their info and their support.

    Love, Mikie
  8. Takesha

    Takesha New Member

    Hi Jim,

    I was just reading your post. My husband hates the computer so you may never see him on the board. He has CFS and I have FMS. I watch him leave every morning to go to work, and somedays I know he won't make it more than an hour or two. He never complains but I always wonder what weight is on his shoulders that he never tells me about. He is always so brave, even on days when he needs two canes to hold him up! I for one need your perspective so I can be of more support to my guy. I know what I am saying is pretty selfish in a sense, because you aren't getting anything out of it for yourself, but we are good listeners if that helps any! What you add to this board is priceless and I know women are from Venus and men are from mars (or is it the other way around). We need your imput and will do our best to understand your point of view. I'm glad you shared.
    Takesha
  9. sunnysideliving

    sunnysideliving New Member

    Hello Jim,

    First when I read your mail I decided to not to answer. Not because you offended me, but I though we are different.
    I am single and do not have to take care of a family. Rather just thinking about myself. :(
    However, later I realized that how much I was/am thinking also about what will happened with me when I will not be able to work. It is similar situation, but less responsibility.
    Although, I am very lucky with my profession, because it is the most wanted one, this also requires to be up to date with the latest technologies. It had not cause me a lot of problem to keeping touch with the cutting edge. However, since a year I have problem with reading and understanding. :( It is much more difficult. I keep on trying, but realized that I can not keep the paced I was used to it.
    As far as I can see, it is important to work. It occupies you and keep your mind "concentrated" :) to something else than this DD. Although, you must realize that you can not do the same amount of work with this DD than before. I suggest to try to find a half-time job or even a occasional one. It will not provide you the same salary, but you will have time to recover from stress you got at work.
    <b>Have a hobby! </b>I mean one that you can do with this DD. What maked you relaxed? I am lucky, because one of my old hobbies I can do now too. (BTW, it is fishing.)Actually, one idea comes back and back regarding this community. I believe we are here diversed. A lot of great people with different knowledge. I mean what we have besides this DD, a wide knowledge and skill. We should try to figure out what we can do with this.
    Hey, most of the things I wrote is about me. :) Just ask me if you have some specific!

    Cheers,
    Ban

    PS: At first, I also thought Mikie is a man, but do not let her know. :D However, I do like to chat (not chit-chat) with women. Do not take it wrong, but I think I even prefer them. ;)

  10. loopyloo

    loopyloo New Member

    Dont give up woman can talk just as good as men we do understand about the off side rule in football and lbw in cricket and birdie in golf so we are not that bad,mind you my sister thought you needed a dog to go clay pigeon shooting which has made us laugh for years, and once i went to the market with her and there was a stool that had loads of 50p boxes i went to lean on what i thought was a wall and fell in all the boxes as it was just a sheet i had tried to lean on which also mad us laught for years and years and they say laughter is the best medicine any way can you tell me what factor v is and ptsd as i have not heard of them and stay with this site it is very good the people are nice andf there is lots of info

    (((big manly hugs from)))
    Loopyloo xx
  11. kerrymygirl

    kerrymygirl New Member

    Even though I am not a man when I was married I had to take care of everything so I feel like I have let everyone down.So women can understand. I met a guy at a meeting,we spoke and I said I hope I am wrong but I think you have fm. He has now said he doe`s not know what he would do without me to have helped him through. He is married so this is strictly one human helping another. He has said I am the only 1 who has really helped him and he knows other fm/cfid people plus joined a group. We can talk, just like guys. So do not feel overwhelmed. I enjoy when the men post. P.S. I have know idea how people keep up with chat. Except 1 early a.m. a guy who I found lives not far from me,board was moving slow so we had a great chat and he thanked me. See we can understand., Ya All
  12. teranan

    teranan New Member

    I'm a 56 yr old mam with FM. I seldom post,I enjoy reading posts and don't log-in until I want to respond to a post. Just wanted you to know your not alone. I also have 4 boys,but there all grown. I can't imagine having this DD and trying to take care of a family.I did'nt get diag. or have full symtoms about 3 yrs ago. I believe I have had this about 18 yrs. Hang in there and know there are other men here. Were just a little quieter. There is a lot of smart ladies here. They will listen if you need some compassion or information about this DD. Regards----Terry
  13. cristine04

    cristine04 New Member

    Hi Jim

    Try not to feel alone here and remember that although in the old days "the man" was usually the provider there are probably many women on this board that are the providers in their homes. In my family most of the women make more than the men and they are the providers, it is 2003. So please don't feel alone because you are a male. This disease knows no boundaries so we are all here in this together.

    Best,
    cristine
  14. POSIE

    POSIE New Member

    HI JIM,
    THIS IS MY FIRST MESSAGE TO REPLY TO. I'M SURE NO ONE WILL DISCRIMINATE AGAIST YOU. JUST LIKE ANY OTHER ILLNESSES, IT CAN HIT ANYONE. AS FOR BEING THE MAN OF THE HOUSE....YOU STILL ARE NO MATTER WHAT. IN TODAYS WORLD WE HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS (LOL). BESIDES I'M SURE YOU CAN TUNE US ALL INTO A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE. HOPE YOU CONTINUE TO BE A PART OF US. POSIE
  15. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member

    There is a FibroMenSupport Group at the Yahoo group site with 139 members. I came across it the other
    day while searching. Maybe you should join that
    group as well. Just go to the Yahoo site
    and go to groups and type in FibroMenSupport.
    Hope this helps.
    My neighbor is a male with FMS and his wife works
    and he stays home and takes care of that part.
    Everything is hard with this disease. There is another
    guy on my block with it as well. Hope there is nothing
    wrong in the neighborhood!
    Lynn
  16. jamedw1

    jamedw1 New Member

    name's ed... yes, yes... it's male... :)

    sorry for your reasons to happen upon this wonderful world of information exchange and support...

    my reasons are somewhat different...
    i am in love with someone with fm/cfs, and when i expressed my desire to learn as much as i could about the disease this is where she directed me... and there is no doubt that i have... so i came for one, but have become familiar with many... and i pray for all...

    i will usually put my 2 cents in when i think i can say something semi-intelligent, but more often than not, i try my best to encourage, inspire, sympathize, and provoke some thought... sometimes what i say gets lost in the shuffle, but i always feel if what i say benefits just one person... if i make someone laugh, cry, or just think, then it's been a good day...i'm still very much learning my way, and encountering some of the most courageous, compassionate, intelligent, funny and informed people anywhere... starting with the woman i pray will always look at me as her "rock", and ending with "Z"...

    so welcome (i feel funny saying that, as i'm still a bit on the "unknown" side), and just remember... male... female... no matter...you're in "good" company...

    and sometimes, that's all that counts...

    hoping you find what you need... here... or anywhere..

    ed
    [This Message was Edited on 05/05/2003]
  17. jamedw1

    jamedw1 New Member

    for some reason, i tend to have the last word in many posts...lol... (as is evidenced here)...

    it's either by luck, design, or astonishment... :)

    ed, the "headshaker"...
  18. slopok8225

    slopok8225 New Member

    .....and everybody else that posted with their support towards me and my feeling of being left out. I was not trying to implicate that I was the only Man in these posting boards, but stating, that as a Man it is hard, as you all have said yourselves to get another man to talk to me. So Thanks again and I will definately stay in touch and talk with many of you in the future.
  19. gritman

    gritman New Member

    we are all brothers and sisters here. I am a divorced dad with two boys and have been out of work for nearly three years. I have had CFS/FM for over 23 years. When I went to see a well known specialist in LA, it seemed on most days I was the only guy. However, the women in the clinic were very supportive and understanding. The same goes for this board. The ladies here are fantastic... if you relate good news or bad or have a question they all jump in and many seem so knowledgeable.
    You may get a wide variety of opinions. But they are all wonderfully supportive. Keep posting and hang in their!
    Grit
  20. rick31797

    rick31797 New Member

    I am a male from Canada, and have had CFS?FM for 7 years.I go to a support group near my town..you guess it 20 women and me..LOL That is the only advantage to having this illness i can think of...only thing is all the women are sick...hehhehe
    If you want to chat or email let me know.I am not on line everyday,but do check in once and awhile...

    Take care Rick

    kyzer@ihorizons.net

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