Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by meash, Oct 26, 2007.

  1. meash

    meash New Member

    Hi, I found this board OK, and I did my profile also. Thank you for your help. Everyone has been so nice and helpful and I am so grateful for you all.

    I am enjoying my new granddaughter so much and it is going to be hard to go home on Monday, but I also miss my husband so much...I do not think we have been apart this long our whole marriage as of yet, but he is great and also wishes he could be here, but one of us has to work...lol

    I do not think I am ready for the whole disability thing just yet, I am trying to get on with my chiropractor to do his billing a few days a week, he is a family friend and his wife also had RA, but he just hired a new girl a few months ago and did not know I was looking for something else do he is trying to see what he can do for me. I told him I do not want this other girl to loose her job so I can have one.

    I see my reumi on wed and he is going to up my meds, but I need to talk to him about how bad the MTX at 4 pills weekly make me feel and also try to get off the prednisone. I also have asthma and it has been under control lately, but have not had good luck with prednisone in the past for my asthma and maybe that is why it is not bothering me now because I am taking predi daily.

    I am not sure of what my insurance will cover os far as injections, but if my stomach cannot tolerate oral MTX. maybe it would cover injections.

    Well, gotta go for now Mommy is sleeping and my precious needs Grandma to hold her for alittle while. I will talk to you again later.

  2. mimimurch4

    mimimurch4 New Member

    Ijust found this post!!!! Didn't look far enough down the list! I am so happy for you that you get to be there with your newborn grandbaby!. My son calls me every day & tells me things Kaiden is doing. I was there when his first little girl was born, Jordyn, now 3 yrs. They are so precious. When you live so far apart you miss so much. They came here and spent a week with us in Aug. and now he has grown so much since then!. Also Jordyn and I really had a special time together and now there gone and not sure when we will get to see them again.

    I better go for now.

    Remember, I will be praying about the job situation!

    Love in Christ,
  3. meash

    meash New Member

    Mimi and Cheryl

    You two have been so nice to talk to and I just needed to say Thank you again for everything, you do not know how bad I needed a friend to talk about all this with. I have a hard time really relaying to my family exactly how bad I feel most of the time, I guess I find it hard to be the one that needs them to be there for me when my place in my family has always been to be the one who takes care of everything and everyone. My Mom is very active and in great health for 68, but she is a widow and I feel I need to be strong for her and she knows of my DX, but I do not think she understands the full impact of the disease, but in her defense, I have never really gone into deep detail with anyone but my husband about how bad and how hard this all is on me. He knows I am not ready to give up working, but I had to admit finally that I could know longer do retail and be on my feet for 8-9 hours a day, our children and my Mom think I am just on a leave from this job and ask me when I will be going back to work and I just have not been able to bring myself to say probably never, at least no to that job. My husband thinks I feel if I admit to them I am not going back, I will have to admit to myself the same thing and I am not ready to handle that yet, this is all so new to me and I feel so helpless and I think I may be getting deppressed about it all and that is just not me. I am so used to always being on the go and being involved in projects at our church and with our kids and grandkids and I have not been as involved for awhile and know I probably will not be as involved again and that scares the heck out of me.(Not even my husband knows how far my fear of all this is) I guess that is why I need this site so much so that I can open up about my feelings and than maybe with your help I can bring myself to fully explain it all the my children and my Mom. Being at my daughters this last week helping out with the new baby has been truly a blessing and a curse at the same time..my daughter has know idea how hard it has been on me, I am a really good coverer of my pain and she has been on bedrest for most of this time from a bad delivery (placental abruption) so I can hang out downstairs when I need to regain my composure and get it all together, but she really needed me and I would not of been any where else, I just Thank the Good Lord for saving her and the baby from a situation that could of been very very bad indeed. Her husband works all day so Mom needed to take care of them, she was not allowed out of bed except to go to the bathroom so am where I need to be and God has given me the strength to get through. I am going to miss them so much and I live 3 1/2 hours away from her so I will be making frequent trips out to visit as often as possible. Here I go again...long winded...when I was a child some called me "Windy" LOL...HAHA...I guess I earned it though. My husband and I have 3 children a son 28yr old, a daughter 24 yrs old and the youngest daughter 23 yr old. Five grandchildren, a 8yr old grandson, a 6 yr old grandson, a 4 yr old granddaughter , a 1 yr old granddaughter and the newest addition born 10-17-07 another granddaughter. The two oldest kids are his from his first marriage and the youngest daughter is mine from my first marriage, but I have been with my husband since our girls where 2 yrs old, so as I always siad to our children growing up...There are no STEPS in this house, we are all a family and if you have two Moms or two Dads to love you than you must be the luckiest kids alive. Well I have gone on long enough, so I beter give you two a break and hope that we can talk again and it sure would be nice to be able to talk person to person, but I know that you cannot give that kind of info over these boards and I respect that, but it would be nice. I will keep you all in my prayers and hope you all do the same for me and mine.

    ((((((((HUGS)))))))) to you all
  4. meash

    meash New Member


    Thank you so much for your wonderful note and I do feel I will be a better person in the long run because this illness is causing me to go deep within myself and open up to the ones I love and confess that I am not a wonder woman and I need them to help me get through this and that I will get through this and live my life to the fullest, it just may not be in the way I once thought it would be, but it still can be good. I refuse to let it get the best of who I am, it is hard at times, but God gives me what I need to go on.

    I just did not want to burden my daughter while she was pregnant and did not want her to feel guilty about needing my help after the baby because I would not of missed that for the world and somehow, again, with God by my side and all the prayer I could get, I did manage to be there and stayed with her and her husband for 10 days and helped out which I could not of done without God, I kept asking myself where is all this strenght coming from and I knew it was from the Lord himself. I am home now and feel exhausted, but not sorry.

    I know I have to cherish every day and be grateful everyday for anything I do that day and know that the next may not be so good, but I will survive.

    I am so sorry to hear about your sister also, I am the next to the youngest of five children, but have always been the one to try to keep us all together and take care of everyone. My oldest sister was just DX 2 years ago with Systolic Heart Failure, which means just as a virus (so they say) is causing my RA, a virus got to her heart and damaged it and it will never get any better, she had a pacer/devib device put in 18 months ago and is doing OK for now, if it gets worse her only hope will be a heart transplant, so she also needs our prayers. I have 2 other sisters ( one older and one younger) and a brother (older).

    My Mom's younger sister passed away 6 years ago very unexpectantly and she felt the same way as you, that this was her baby sister and she should not be the one getting buried and she should of been able to help her is some way, but we just have to believe that God has a plan and even if we do not like it, or we do not understand it, he still has a plan and we just have to trust in it and accept it.

    Again, I Thank you for all you support and prayers and will talk at you later.

    Gently Hugs to you and may Gods love surround you.
  5. cheryl888881

    cheryl888881 New Member

    It was so good to hear from you. I know that you must be exhausted after being with your precious granddaughter and family but I know that God helped you and now you just have to rest and take care of you. I know how excited you must be having a new little granddaughter. Mine is 14 this year and was born on Christmas day and I tell her that her daddy never gave or could ever give me a better present than when she was born. She is beautiful and I love her so very much. I got to spend time with her when she was little and we have a bond that will last forever. She is in TX and I miss her so much.

    I will be praying for your sister also. I know how you feel. It is hard when the ones you love have to struggle. Yes, I know God had a reason for taking my sister and leaving me and in the last 8 years since her death God has revealed to me many reasons why it was this way.

    I hope that you will be able to rest this week and that God will be close to you.

    Gentle Hugs and prayers,


  6. mimimurch4

    mimimurch4 New Member

    Glad you made it home safely from your daughter's and precious granddaughter's house. I know you are both glad to be home but yet sad to have left them also. Have been in that same position before.

    You do need to rest though, as Cheryl has suggested. It will catch up with you, believe it or not!. God gave you the strength you needed for those 10 days, but you still have RA and you need to protect yourself from further damage, so try to get some rest in every day. I know how important that is.

    How is the job situation going, or I guess you don't really know yet since you just jot home. Still praying for you that God will provide the perfect job for you that you can handle with your illness.

    It was good to talk to you and hope to hear a word back abut your trip! I miss my new grandson so much! He is now 4 mos old and I have only seen him once!!!! My son,Blake, says he is in 97% in both height and weight. He is going to be a big boy!!!!!! His Dad is 6ft and my husband is 6'2" and his Dad is 6'4" and his mother is tall also. Their other daughter who just turned 3 is very tall also. She is such a sweetie!!!! She just giggles when I talk to her on the phone. I miss her so much also.
    My other 2 grandchildren live here close to me. Faith who is 7 and is on a competitive cheerleading squad, and her brother Logan who is only 6 weeeks older than his cousin,
    Jordyn who lives away from here. He loves his Mimi. Loves to come over here. Always giving me hugs and kisses and I just eat it up!!!! Then they can go home!!!

    Gentle Hugs,
  7. meash

    meash New Member

    Good to be back home. I will miss seeing her everyday though. My other grandchildren live right here 5 minutes away so I can see them whenever I need to, so this little one being 3 1/2 hours away is going to be just as though as her Momma moving away.

    Mimi, did you get your name from your grandchildren. My older grandkids all call me Mimi instead of Grandma, I was just curious.

    I have done nothing today but rest and will see reumi tomorrow.

    Do either of you see or have either of you ever gone to a Chiropractor for any other problems. I have this DJD in my neck and lower back so bad and it is causing me as much pain as the RA these days. I need an MRI to see what is going on will see about scheduling that tomorrow also.

    Need to get these headaches under control, what is causing them, meds or neck problems or both.

    And can I add the hot flashes...I had a total hysterectomy in Dec 06 and was having them from that, but this prednisone so I have been told is also a problem with them.
    Boy are the bad, like right now I feel like I am on fire. When it rains it pours I guess...LOL

    I gotta go for now and see about a afternoon nap before my husband comes home from work so I can at least be some company tonight. I sure did miss him while I was gone, I do not know what I would do without him, he is my best friend and biggest supporter. OK, bye for now.
    Be back tomorrow after my appts.

    Gentle Hugs and hope your day is good.
  8. mimimurch4

    mimimurch4 New Member

    Yes, my oldest granddaughter started it out. I was going to be called Me-ma. But when she started calling me something it came out as "mimi" so that has stuck with all the grandkids. I love it!!!!! There's nothing that is more special than seeing my Logan at church from a distance and him calling out real loud "Mimi, Mimi" and running to me!!!! Aren't they great????
    Now, I'm Mimi to the whole board!!!!!!! lol lol lol

  9. meash

    meash New Member

    That is exactly how I got the name Mimi also, our oldest grandson started it and the others have all followed suit. Alot of the times I get Mimi Mary because they have three Grandma's and two Great-grandma's, so they add our first names to it, but usually only if one of the other Grandma's is there also with us. My Mom refers to herself as G-Grandma, started by my oldest Great Niece. I will get back with you after I get home today from my appt with the reumi.
    Until then, hope your foot is getting better and all else is going good for you today.

    Gently Hugs and Happy Halloween
  10. meash

    meash New Member


    That is so funny about the tissue on your face at church and nobody saying anything...just goes to so you that they all love you no matter what...LOL

    I miss my grandbaby so much already...

    I went to the reumi today, so he took me off of MTX because of my side effects and put me on Avara, ever heard of it, I have not. He decreased my prednisone some told me to keep takig the Darvocet for the neck pain and is having me go do some PT for my neck to see if that will give me alittle relief and than he is going to do an MRI to make sure there is nothing else going on in my neck. Hopefully the headaches will ease some with the PT. He also gave me some ambien to help me sleep better...hope that helps also.

    Well thats it for now, so time will tell I guess as we do alittle more trial and error with the meds, but that is everybodys story is it not. LOL

    Just keep praying as I already know you will and I will do the same and I will talk at you tomorrow.


  11. meash

    meash New Member

    Good to hear from you toady, the weather is making symptoms worse today and my neck is really bad so I will not be in front of the computer for very long today at any one time. I so miss already when I cannot get o and talk with my new family of friends. I also decreased my prednisone starting today so we will see how that all plays out as well.

    I hope the doc will do what you feel you need him to and I as always will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    On a other note, the job I was hoping for is probably not going to happen, he just does not need anyone at this time and I guess I am going to have to look someplace else...I just feel so helpless about the whole situation and I know we need my financial input to take some stress away from my husband, but at the same time he feels bad that I need to work to help us out financially, so please keep that whole mess in your prayers for us...either I find the right job I am able to do, or some other financial means comes into our future.

    Until tomorrow, Gently Hugs
  12. meash

    meash New Member

    That is what you are, one of Gods blessings. I have been having a really bad day and feeling really low trying to figure out where I can get a job to help support my family and God answered my prayers through you. Maybe I cannot work, at least not right now, so instead of feeling sorry for myself and feeling quilty about not contributing, financially at least, I can pray, I can pray for so many things in this world and for so many people who are worse off than I am. I Thank you for opening my eyes today and as I close, know that I am going to spend the rest of this afternoon in prayer and asking our Lord and Savior to lead me as he has lead you.

    Gentle Hugs