I just wonder if anyone else has this problem. You know how SO many people either don't believe or understand our pain. Well, I spent so much time trying not to believe it either. You know - I did things that hurt so much, because it was easier than having to explain how much you KNOW you're going to suffer later (when no one is watching). 'Oh - why don't you just exercise a little?' 'UM - because tomorrow I won't be able to move, maybe, and I'll feel worse than ever'!!! I thought that I'd listen to all those 'experts' that seem to know what's good for me, but in the end it has just caused me so much misery. I'd wake up every morning and not even be able to walk, and I'd think I should be able to 'shake this off'. I'd think to myself that if this weren't as bad as I'm making it out to be, then what the heck was happening to me every morning when I was in so much pain I had to stumble to make it to the bathroom. If it were 'all in my head' then certainly I should be able to control how I felt every morning. It's also hard to act as though everything is fine and then have it thrown in your face that you seemed fine, so why all of a sudden you can't do this or that? I'm realizing that I have to be truthful to myself AND others about my limitations, regardless of how it may LOOK. If I keep myself on an even keel, I can deal with the pain and discomfort at a level that's bearable. If I step outside those bounds, and push myself harder, I really suffer. All of this makes me feel it's easier to be a hermit, than it is to seem so limited to other people, to the point where I would come across as a complainer. I don't complain to anyone unless they expect more of me than I can do. I mostly suffer in silence, since I don't want to be a burden. The reason I'm most glad that I am on disability is because it was too hard to constantly explain that even though I could look fine and force myself to walk fine, regardless of the pain, that I wasn't 'fine' at all ... I do miss having more interaction with people, but the price seems too high to pay.