mind your beeswax

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by inbetweendays, Dec 4, 2011.

  1. inbetweendays

    inbetweendays New Member

    Any ideas how to tell a bunch of people(many who claim they have cfids, and other things like parkinsons) to mind their own business. They keep insinuating and flat out telling me--how I should do volunteer work....and how that would change everything,...they keep insinuating that would get my mind off all that this illness delves out.,...i have in the past volunteered--and got sick with other illnesses and then had to quit.,...when i try to explain the brain and stamina issues they have more insulting comments in the form of trying to be of help.
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    I kinda doubt that anything you say will make a difference. They have
    their beliefs, and are not likely to change them unless they too become

    Better off avoiding them, doncha think?

    Good luck
  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Whatever you say will only give them more ammo to throw at you. We can't change others (even when changing them would be a vast improvement :) We can only change how we react, or don't react, to them. Better yet, find other people to hang with.

    Love, Mikie
  4. inbetweendays

    inbetweendays New Member

    Thanks for all the advice. It is difficult because some of these people i have to interact with....I know at the end of the day--I will have to realize the advice you all have given out--i cant change them--just my response. I dont know why since i have been sick--everyone thinks they are going to set me straight and i have to report to them with my life....ugghhh
  5. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I understand how you feel. I hvae been told that by family and friends, and some people who do have fibro. I was a good friend with the one who also had fibro but she didn't seem to reliese that all people who have fibro don't feel the same way I do. Each of us react to pain differently to what fibro does to us. I have found that people who really have fibro are not the ones who will tell you how to feel better ,for they know what will help and what won't. Maybe they just want attention who knows.

    Like every one said just they won't listen so try to stay away from them as much as you can.
  6. Picklington

    Picklington New Member

    Hi inbetweendays. Incidentally, beeswax is one of the "cures" I've been advised to try!

    Sorry to hear that you are having to justify yourself to people who don't understand. That is very frustrating. Especially with respect to volunteer work - a lot of people never do any volunteer work and don't have to justify themselves to anyone, so why should you!

    I have a couple of friends who try to convince me to volunteer with them occasionally. I just ask them loads of questions about their volunteer work and whenever they say I should try it, I say "no, that's not for me, but I'm glad someone's doing it" or "maybe someday" then ask them something else. Most people like talking about themselves so they eventually forget/give up trying to steer the conversation back to me volunteering.

    Alternatively you could go to wherever they volunteer just once when you're having a good day, then tell everyone there that you're friends with so-and-so and then totally embarrass them by behaving very inappropriately until they ask you to go home! ;) Just kidding, I would never really encourage such behavior...! Think about that next time though, while you're pretending to listen to their stories of angelic behavior ;) Imagining how you could embarrass them should keep you amused, so their self-righteous rants will irritate you less.

    And if you ever find yourself feeling guilty for your lack of volunteer work, remember that you help people every time you post on this message board, because we're all comforted to know that we aren't alone in these experiences.
  7. Saoirse3

    Saoirse3 Member

    BUT, you are doing everything you can according to what YOUR body dictates. And you're the only one who lives there! If they are rude enough to keep pressing you, simply say "It's not open for discussion and it's MY decision to do what's best for ME."