misbehaving child FM pain

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by teranan, Apr 20, 2003.

  1. teranan

    teranan New Member

    I just came from a family Easter dinner.First real outing for me in months.Had a long winter lots of sinus problems making my FM pain pretty constant.I have been too inactive and was determined to make myself get moving. I started the day in my normal pain mode,but was dealing with it fine. After dinner was talking with family. My neice and her husband have a 2 and 5yr old boys.The 5yr old is a real spoiled brat.He was terrorizing his brother and a new little kitten that his grandma had.His parents tried in vain to deal with him,and soon they were arguing about how to punish him.--he won no punishment. Anyway I went from mild pain to extreme pain from the stress and chaos. Wondering if any of the other older people here get increased pain from ill mannered kids.I'm a grandpa but FM has made visiting grandkids not the pleasure it should be. Also was wondering for the ones I"ve read about here that have made great improvement. Do stressful things that happen bring back pain,flairs or are you now able to stand them painfree? ---------Terry
  2. darlamk

    darlamk New Member

    I know just what you mean. If I am in a tense or uncomfortable situation I will have a flare of pain too. Maybe because we tighten up our muscles as a response to the tension? I really try to avoid conflict and exit these types of scenerios ASAP. If it causes me pain-- I am out of there! (and I am "only" 47) :)
  3. fibrodoll

    fibrodoll New Member

    I would have gone off on a situation like this. Those parents should have removed the misbehaving child and dealt with him. My children are 16 and 14. We have never had this problem with them because once for each was enough. It has been so many years ago I can't even remember. Parents should never argue over how to deal with a child, it gives the child the upper hand.

    It's to bad that this situation caused you stress. I know that there are some things that are hard to ignore but there are bigger more important things in life to stress over. Try to save your energy. Hugs, Valley.

  4. teranan

    teranan New Member

    Its good to know its not just me. And yes the bad parenting has been learned. I watched my neices parents raise her the same way.This time is painful to watch.Yes I did say to my wife --Time to go I hurt. Still courios about the improved having the stress pain?
  5. Ellie

    Ellie New Member

    Through lots of work with my pain psych I learned that the stressers already when things like that happen, she said the best thing to do is take some controll of what is happening. SO if the children where bad you should say Pa Pa does not feel well and you need to quiet down a little. This way you had input of what was going around you and still have some controll in your life. I for a long time would do that same thing when people around me act up. Now I tell them it is not fair to me, and i feel a little bit better because I am in controll of my pain and my surroundings. I know it's hard with the parents and children but you too have a right to visit a nice surrounding without friction. Hope this helps ALoha Ellie Ps I have learned BIOFEED BACK and it really has help more then shots of demeral
  6. Debgene56

    Debgene56 New Member

    I am glad you posted this. I have fm and two boys at home. My twelve year old is active and animated. He is constantly making weird sounds, and some are loud. Or he will do a imitation of a "retarded" person. He can be like this over and over. It sets me on edge and probably is responsible for me being in a constant flare up. I have talked to him over and over, he say's he is sorry but continues to do it. Maybe he is trying to punish me, I don't know. It is probably my fault, nobody want's thier mom in pain and not feeling good. I am sure they are bothy totally sick of it. I have tried over and over to stay calm with him when he acts like this. We are both Taureans, and we can easily set each other off. Plus he demands to have the last word. As hard As I have tried to break that habit, it hasn't worked, it takes more strenght and will then I possess at times. As far as your experience with the younger kids, I would have removed them from the scene if I was the mom intill they could act like nice little children.My mom just got diagnoised with lung cancer, went to florida to be with her. It was stressful, cause we were waiting for the diagnoise, and I felt devasted about my mom. But I was calm and felt quite a bit better then I do at home. Calm is the magic word, my sister was popping xanax and flexeril to deal and I was calm. I am never calm at home. I think I knew this already, but needed the week off to find out. Love, Deb
  7. teranan

    teranan New Member

    Thanks for your reply--My post was'nt too clear. The kids are my nieces and I was at the house of their grandparents.They spoil the kids to,and make excuses for their behavior. So all I can do is escape when it gets to be too much. We have to be a bit selfish and think of ourselves I think. Most people still don't understand FM,or care.