Missing my job a bit tonight!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by teach6, Dec 14, 2002.

  1. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    I haven't really felt this way about not being able to teach since I attempted to return part-time last spring and fell flat on my face.

    Tonight I was shopping for a gift for our Angel Tree at church. We get names of children whose parent is incarcerated and buy gifts specified by the child's caretaker. I was looking for a football book for a seven year old. Since I taught second grade for nine years that was right up my alley.

    I went to Barnes and Noble and used my scooter so I could browse as long as I wanted to find just the right book. As I looked through the children's section some of my favorite books jumped out at me and reminded me how much I miss teaching.

    When I got to the nonfiction and bios for older elementary ages I was getting it really bad. I always loved teaching history to my sixth graders and they could sense it. Every year at the end of the year I had won over a few more new history buffs. It was so much fun to bring it alive to them and hep them understand how our country was founded.

    I think this feeling was in part brought about by the retirement denial I received yesterday. Damn them! I love teaching. I wouldn't walk away unless I had to. I kept thinking gee, maybe there's some way I could do this, but in my heart I know there isn't. I already tried it.

    The only reason I am doing as well as I am is because I am able to balance my life and stay within my energy envelope. Part of that is predicated on sleeping late and resting for at least an hour during the day, every day.

    Last spring when I first began the disability and retirement process I had a long conversation with my doc. He told me I could probably go back to school in the fall and I'd probably last three weeks before falling flat on my face.

    How dare the state insinuate that I'm trying to cheat them. I'm only trying to get what I'm entitled to.

    By the way, I found a great book about 10 NFL super stars and then added a few others of my favorites that I thought this little boy might like.

    Barbara
  2. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    I haven't really felt this way about not being able to teach since I attempted to return part-time last spring and fell flat on my face.

    Tonight I was shopping for a gift for our Angel Tree at church. We get names of children whose parent is incarcerated and buy gifts specified by the child's caretaker. I was looking for a football book for a seven year old. Since I taught second grade for nine years that was right up my alley.

    I went to Barnes and Noble and used my scooter so I could browse as long as I wanted to find just the right book. As I looked through the children's section some of my favorite books jumped out at me and reminded me how much I miss teaching.

    When I got to the nonfiction and bios for older elementary ages I was getting it really bad. I always loved teaching history to my sixth graders and they could sense it. Every year at the end of the year I had won over a few more new history buffs. It was so much fun to bring it alive to them and hep them understand how our country was founded.

    I think this feeling was in part brought about by the retirement denial I received yesterday. Damn them! I love teaching. I wouldn't walk away unless I had to. I kept thinking gee, maybe there's some way I could do this, but in my heart I know there isn't. I already tried it.

    The only reason I am doing as well as I am is because I am able to balance my life and stay within my energy envelope. Part of that is predicated on sleeping late and resting for at least an hour during the day, every day.

    Last spring when I first began the disability and retirement process I had a long conversation with my doc. He told me I could probably go back to school in the fall and I'd probably last three weeks before falling flat on my face.

    How dare the state insinuate that I'm trying to cheat them. I'm only trying to get what I'm entitled to.

    By the way, I found a great book about 10 NFL super stars and then added a few others of my favorites that I thought this little boy might like.

    Barbara
  3. JP

    JP New Member

    Hello Barbara,

    I was touched by your sharing. I too miss my work. If I was ever addicted to anything, it would have been my work.

    I am sorry to hear about your retirement news. I can only guess that it feels pretty bad...especially with your passion for your work and for children. I have not had your experience, however, I will be making some similar decisions pretty soon.

    You are valuable, and how great of you to reach out and touch another life of a child in need. I am sure they will love the book that you so carefully selected!

    Take care,
    Jan
  4. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    Thanks for the support. Actually I have a business which has a great potential for teaching in it. When I am feeling up to it I really enjoy it. I hope to go ahead and make a sucess of it, but until then it serves as a hobby and an outlet to meet other women and build my self-esteem.

    As for writing a book. I have no plans for that. My ex is an author and I'll let him continue to do the writing.

    Barbara
  5. tandy

    tandy New Member

    I find myself missing my work too~I use to love working with the public in management.I also did pre-school age child care and I miss all the children. Boy I could use you around my house!! I have a 10yr old boy,in the 5th grade.He's a very good student-straight A's,one B+.(yes,i'm proud!)Sometimes when he's doing his homework,he'll ask me a question about his work.Half the time I can't even remember all that stuff from elementary school!poor kid just looks at me.(thinking,"man,what a dumb ma I have")
    Anyway-I think you'll always miss your job,and thats a good thing.Just don't give up hope that someday you'll feel well enough to get back to your kids/teaching.
    Tracey
  6. dolsgirl

    dolsgirl New Member

    that our children lost a dear dedicated teacher. So many teachers are leaving, not for disability, but because it's tough in the school systems now. You saw past that, but your disability removed you. Very sad. I also will be very sad if that day comes for me. dolsgirl
  7. Cindy

    Cindy New Member

    Barbara~

    Just a quick note. I too am very sorry for your bad news, and as you said that probably brought on some depression, just remember to keep on fighting!

    Also, one of my third grade teachers, after she retired not because of health problems, but she now volunteers at the same school several years later. She comes in and reads stories to my 8 y/o son's class. And she also volunteers at the local library for childrens hour, again reading to preschool, elementary school children. Perhaps maybe you could check into this at your ole school, or local library? Surely you would be able to take your scooter along, and it might boost your spirits some. Just food for thought.

    With much love,
    Cindy
  8. BonBons

    BonBons New Member

    Hi Barbara - I'm so sad about your retirement. I know just how you feel; I also miss work so badly, and even though I'm now looking to work again, as you know I've not had any takers yet. I WAS a workaholic, so it's been a real adjustment for me not to work and fed my depression like gas to a fire. I've been "off-line" for a few days and I'm only in the "back door" just now. I really missed our group here, but I'm glad I was able to reply at least to you. Just know that I'm sorry and wish you could find a way to give the love and knowledge that is your heart's desire. As I've told you, you have certainly taught me a lot. You are in my prayers. Love and kind surprises, Bonnie