Missizzypasted topic from other message board

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by luvdogs, Mar 24, 2008.

  1. luvdogs

    luvdogs New Member

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    [ edit | delete ] Missizzy 03/24/08 10:09 AM


    I'm glad you're doing better. I still can't believe you got a head injury on top of all the other injustices. As far as the seizure disorder, is Klonopin enough to prevent your seizures? After all, you were on Klonopin already when you experienced the other seizures. Should you be on a stronger anti-seizure med.? I too have difficulty with over stimulation, although I don't get seizures (I think). But i can't stand loud noise, bright lights, and crowded rooms. I am also really sensitive to cigarette smoke. I think I told you, the last time I went to a social event, it gave me a migraine. In general, I have trouble with bright outdoor light (although I don't like sunglasses). I am also extremely sensitive to loud noise, and my boyfriend just doesn't seem to understand or believe me regarding this, because he insists on having the tv on really loud when he's in the kitchen.

    I'm glad your son is in Europe playing soccer. That is so exciting, that he is so skilled in soccer despite his disabilities. Have you heard from him? As far as your other sons are concerned, what is the latest news? How is your bipolar son? I know he has had severe losses, but do you think he will learn to let go, and perhaps to accept change?
    I saw a fine movie on one of the arts channels the other nights that deals with accepting change. It is called "The River" (although not the Mel Gibson/Sissy Spacek version). This version was made in 1954, and deals with a young British girl who lives with her family in India on the banks of the Ganges River. She is an evolving writer who reflects on the intense realities she experiences in India. The movie deals with the cycles of life, death, and change, along with grief, and acceptance. I don't know how you would find the movie, but anyway, give it a try.

    Speaking of letting go, I am a fine one to be speaking about this topic. My boyfriend is being a real a--h-le. Sorry to be so indelicate. He was really good at controlling his anger for a long time, and then he lost control because he became stressed. He can't handle stress, and he tends to blame others. To his credit, I have to say that he is finally helping me with his aunt. Yet, he is in a bad mood all the time, and he gets angry very easily. Also, he does very little, if anything, for me, because whenever I ask him for a favor, he has some excuse. He always has excuses for why he can't reciprocate or be giving. Everything in our relationship is a contest: "Well, you didn't do such and such last week, so I'm not going to do it this week." Also, when we go to the restaurant, payment has to be split exactly half and half, even though I'm in this financial crisis. Since he doesn't own our house (I do), he feels he shouldn't pay for or help with any repairs, yardwork, etc. I think that's ok, if he could be a little more relaxed about paying for me in other situations.

    Yet, I can't imagine being without him and/or his aunt at this point. My friends are scattered all over the country. I have one good friend here, but she is time-challenged, and she has a little trouble with intimacy. Oh, I should say, I have one other friend, but his wife is a raging Christian fanatic (sorry, she doesn't follow Christ's teachings) who hates Blacks and gays, and my father is gay. When she was working, I used to see him a lot, and we had some great conversations. Now, that she's retired, I never see him, and also, she's the one who hit my dog and kept driving, so it's hard for me to forgive them. I have to admit this: I am really afraid of being alone, especially considering the condition I'm in. So much for accepting change, huh?

    I've been doing yoga, which is helping my pain, and I've also started meditating. I'm trying to meditate on the concept of "letting go." I also keep hearing John Lennon's song in my head, "Let it Be." Tonight, I think I'm going to start meditating on the throat Chakra, which has to do with expressing yourself verbally, and by extension, standing up for yourself. One of these days, soon, I'm going to have a stern conversation with him, and tell him what I can't accept. But I've done this before, and it works for a while, and then he lapses. so I guess I just have to keep being firm on a consistent basis. And yes, for anyone who's reading this post, I've been to a therapist, and she was great, and helped me a lot, but first, she (tragically) had a bleed in her brain, and is no longer functioning well, and second, I can no longer afford any kind of therapy.

    Back to you, I wanted to mention your third son, the one who has trouble with aggression. How on earth are you going to handle his problems? He can't stay in detention indefinitely, can he? What are you going to do when he comes back? Does he have psychiatric help, and medicine? Do you think he loves you, and/or is he capable of love?

    Geez, I hope you're doing better. Go out with your son if you can, but to a quiet, natural place. And yes, we are seeing signs of Spring; the daffodils are blooming. No leaves on the trees yet. If you go down the mountains to the Piedmont, the trees are leafing out. We are at a higher elevation, so even though we live in the South, we have a cold winter. We used to have a lot of snow, but that is happening less and less, due to global warming, I assume. The ski resorts up here are suffering, except the highest one, which is at almost 6000 ft. We had our first really warm day the day before yesterday, and we went out walking with the dogs. Today, we are back in the 30s.

    I have been overwhelmingly tired lately. I have decided I must take daily naps, or i can't get through the day, and am miserable. The problem is, my naps take two hours, and I sleep ten hours at night, so I don't have much time left to do things. Yesterday, I was relegated to the couch, because yours truly was taking a bath and playing loud music, which one can hear really loudly in the bedroom. I asked him if he could take his bath without the music, and he said no. Even on the couch with earplugs, I could hear the music. I slept some, because I heard myself snoring, but I was totally exhausted the rest of the night. I have so much to do, and I must make money, and I don't know how to handle the situation. Send me prayers, or light, or whatever!

    Hope you are doing ok. No new emergencies! I wish you peace.

    [This Message was Edited on 03/24/2008]

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    luvdogs 03/24/08 12:08 PM

    I just read your juicy, long note. I'm terrified we're going to get busted and told to go to the chitchat board. I'd never even looked at it until just now. I was surprised that it looks just like this. Can you transfer this over there and then I'll reply. I'm just certain that someone is going to say that we're totally off topic (h***, my whole existence is off topic!) and tell us to move our sorry bunnies over there.

    XOX Missizzy



    [ edit | delete ] Missizzy 03/24/08 02:00 PM

    Busted for what? You mean my bad word? I'm sorry, I'm terribly naive about such things, but I'm not sure what you're talking about. Do you mean that I'm going off topic? But everything in my post ultimately refers to my, or your, illness, and all the circumstances that surround our illnesses. Or do you mean my reference to Christianity? I thought I made it clear that this person thinks she's a Christian, but she doesn't follow Christ's teaching since she's basically a racist. Also, I'm sorry, but I should be able to say that my father is gay. If I can't say things like that, that's a problem for me. I don't want to be silenced about things like that. I mean, I'm not going to go on and on about my personal opinions, but I should be able to say that a family member is gay. Ok, I promise I won't say anymore bad words. And i won't talk in an indelicate manner about anything referring to Christianity, although I do think we should all be able to have our own beliefs. I think I live a Christian life, and I believe in God, but I also keep my mind open to things like Hinduism, and, I'm sorry, but that should be tolerated. And as far as sexual preferences are concerned, I'm not going to shut up, although I will never say anything to hurt someone's feelings, and like I said, I'm not going to preach, or even talk much about it. Ok, and what do you mean by the chitchat board. Do you mean the chat room? How do I transfer my note there?

    [This Message was Edited on 03/24/2008]

    [This Message was Edited on 03/24/2008]

    [This Message was Edited on 03/24/2008]



    luvdogs....... 03/24/08 02:20 PM

    I think she's merely referring to the "chitchat" room. It's really easy to access and it's not at ALL like the CHAT room where you have to participate LIVE (I could not do that).

    Anyway to get to chitchat, just click on MESSAGEBOARDS in the purple bar near the top of this page. Then click on the last option in the list which is chit chat. That will take you to a board that operates exactly like this one and no extra sign up or anything is necessary.

    I know sometimes it's hard to separate off-topic from subjects DIRECTLY related to fm/cfs, but the moderators would like to save this board to hopefully be used for more immediately relevant topics (though plenty of times things wander off anyway!) I'm sure missizzy was in no way meaning to imply that your info would be censored...just more suitable to chit chat board.



    [ edit | delete ] sleepyinlalaland 03/24/08 02:25 PM

    Thank you so much sleepyinlalaland. I will follow your advice. I guess I kind of freaked out, because I misunderstood, and thought we were going to be censored. Sorry Missizzy; I still love you! I will see you in the chitchat board. And anyone else who wants to join.

    [This Message was Edited on 03/24/2008]


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    [This Message was Edited on 03/24/2008]