Mom crossed over....2/4..

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Cinlou, Feb 18, 2007.

  1. Cinlou

    Cinlou New Member

    Have not been on board for a while... Just wanted to let you all know my mother died from her brain cancer. I miss her so much already. She was a constant in my life, always there for me....I am so sad.

    I have had so much stress, with this and the divorce...I have ached so terribly in the body....Now I can relax some and get on with my life....I do not know if this is OT or not.....I just need to hear from others that it does get easier....

    Thank you all for listening...
    Cindy
  2. Shalala

    Shalala New Member

    I am so sorry about your Mom hun. It will be 2 years in July since I lost my Mom :-(

    (((((((((( hugs )))))))))))
  3. bluewing

    bluewing New Member

    for you know she's not sick and hurting anymore. My mother died many, many years ago, but I still cry when I try to talk about her. I think it's natural that we do. I'm so sorry for your loss, and pray that it will be easier for you soon. Take care of yourself and we will be thinking about you.

    Sending love and prayers.
  4. kirschbaum26

    kirschbaum26 New Member

    Dear Cindy:

    I am so sorry for your loss. It is so difficult to lose a parent. My dad died at age 57 (I was only 30) 16 years ago. My aunt (who was like a second mother to me) died 15 years ago. She lived in Yucca Valley, which I think is near you? It will get better. Remember the good times and eventually you will smile when you think of your mom.

    Ingrid
  5. boltchik

    boltchik New Member

    So very sorry about your Mom. You are so lucky to have had her as a constant in your life. That is wonderful that you were close. Too many families don't stay together like they should. It sounds as if you two had a great relationship.

    I know the sadness you are feeling right now. I lost my Mom when I was only 21. She was only 43 and died in a terrible car accident. We were very close, she was like a best friend to me. It does get easier as time passes, but it's okay to let yourself just go through everything that you are feeling. You will have good days and bad. I am just glad to know that I will see my Mom some day again.

    Sorry that you have the added stress of divorce. I hope you have other family and close friends to help you. I will say a prayer for you and hope that you take some comfort in the happy memories with your Mom. Kim :)
  6. Aeronsmom

    Aeronsmom New Member

    Cindy, I am so sorry about the passing of your mom, you will be in my thoughts and prayers to help you get thru this painful time in your life.

    love and hugs to you, Ann
  7. SusanEU

    SusanEU New Member

    My heart goes out to you Cindy.

    Keep the faith and remember the good times you've had and that there will more to come.

    Sue in Ontario

  8. Cinlou

    Cinlou New Member

    Thank you all for the kind thoughts,words and prayers....
    Cindy
  9. gnanny

    gnanny New Member

    My own mother died just this last december. Myself I was happy for her. Now she is out of pain.
    I wouldnt want anyone to have to live that that any longer than they have to. Mom sat down to watch some tv and never woke up. What a blessing.

    When they are in dire shape its a constant stress on everyone. Now that she has actually passed I am much releived for her and us.

    Time to take care of you now.
  10. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Cindy:

    Surely things do get better. Little by little.
    I would not rush it.

    The feelings are there and yes, for all of us,we have to just deal with them and put them in 'compartments' to look at later.

    Surely our lives will go on, but we may bring one of those compartentments down and face a little more of those feelings once in a while.

    Unforutnately we all go throught it and our mom's passing brings back a whole flood of feelings for many of us.

    Mom will pass. All will be well. You will hang on and remember her and all she gave (and maybe did not!!!).

    The important thing: my regrets, please take care of yourself now. If you flare do not be suprised but try to stop it before it starts.

    It is amzing what the body does under crisis.

    And; my love for you Mom and you.

    nyrofan
  11. jole

    jole Member

    Was in your place 1 1/2 years ago. My mother also died of cancer, and it was sooo hard watching her suffer through it all. Even though I knew she was much better off, I still kept seeing her in the final stages for quite awhile afterward. that was very hard for me. I was with her for the last 4 months nearly every day and night, so saw it all. But I would never trade that for anything, even though I was in so much pain and the fatigue was unbearable at times. We had some good talks, and she was always so cheerful.

    It took probably 2 months before the numbness wore off and the grief set in afterwards, so please don't worry if it doesn't hit for awhile. I did pretty well until then, and the pain, etc. about got me. (Just to let you know if it is delayed for you, it's normal.)

    You will go through some bad times, and that's okay. Love of a parent is so strong, and the loss isn't measured by their age. Our mothers, as you said, are our one constant (if we're lucky) and I still try to pick up the phone to call and tell mine something exciting at times.

    Bless you~ It will get better - and worse - and better again for quite some time, but you are strong and you will be fine. She is with you still. Bet you can feel her close at times, can't you? I know I can.

    Best of luck to you. Let me know if you ever have a down day and need to talk!
  12. findmind

    findmind New Member

    My deepest sympathy to you, Cindy. After I lost my mom, I would talk to her every night before I slept. I usually cried, which helped me deal with the grief.

    I miss her still, and its been 8 years, but I do love when one of our funny or happier moments pops into my memory unexpectedly. Her sudden dying of an systemic infection was shattering and very debilitating for months after, so be sure to take good care of yourself ok?

    Talk to her, of her, about her, and keep her alive in your precious memories.

    Do something special for yourself on her death anniversary each year; she would want you to!

    Many hugs,
    findmind
  13. Cinlou

    Cinlou New Member

    Findmind,

    Yes,I do plan to do something special on her day, it was on the same day February 4th that my dad passed away, only it was eight years ago! Is that not strange or what?? They have been divorced for many years, but they shared 4 children together......February 4th will certainly be a special day.....thank you for your thoughts....
    Cindy
  14. kjfms

    kjfms Member

    I am sorry for the passing of your Mother. I cannot imagine how you feel.

    I will keep you in my prayers.

    Mother's are so special and it sounds like you had a wonderful and close relationship.

    I hope the happy memories will help you through the rough times.

    May you be bless and may your emotional stress and pain along with body pain ease soon.

    Take care of you,

    Karen :)
  15. kelleyc

    kelleyc New Member

    I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. I hope you start to feel better soon.
  16. LouiseK

    LouiseK New Member

    There is nothing else like losing your mother. It's an amazing thing to go through and, like all our really important life-experiences, you have to go it alone to some degree because your own experience is so unique.

    Your mother is free. She knew she could go and you would be okay. You can take all her strengh and support with you to sustain you and comfort you.

    You will be fine. You will get better. Everything changes.

    You must be your own mother now and support and love yourself just like she would want for you. That will hold your bond with her and be honoring her life as your dear mother.

    Relax, rest, organize yourself and get control of all you need to get through. First comes taking care of yourself. The hardest thing for any of us to to and the most worthwhile.

    Stand like a tree. Move like water.
    Chinese Daoist saying. Think about it.
  17. JLH

    JLH New Member

    My deepest sympathy in the loss of your mother.

    I lost my father a few years ago and it was the most difficult thing that I have EVER had to go through in my life.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers,

    Love,
    Janet