mom may have cfs?? NEED ADVICE

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by babyk902, Jul 22, 2008.

  1. babyk902

    babyk902 New Member

    i'm sorry this is so long but i really need advice. i came down with cfs after an extreme case of mono four years ago, i never recovered and with that was diagnosed with cfs about 6 months later. After my diagnosis, my mom claimed she had the same symptoms as me and was convinced she has had cfs. Growing up she always woke up around 11 but was still somewhat pro-active in my life, and after this "diagnosis" with me she started slowly stopping everything in her life; quitting her job, sleeping til 3pm sometimes, staying up til 3am at night, but not even attempting to go to sleep. I've always insisted she go to the doctor but it being so expensive she said she could never go because she's wanted me to go instead.

    I don't want to say my mother doesn't have cfs, but she has never had the same symptoms i have... i was pretty much dying when I had mono, or that's what it felt like, and constantly had fevers, sore throats, strep throat, migraines, etc. my mom never really had any of these with the exception of being "extremely tired".

    my father works EXTREMELY hard, and with three kids in college, certainly needed some support but instead my mother decided to quit her job, and really doesn't do much around the house.. the house is always a mess, she barely cooks, and always just claims she is so tired. I think she is sick, but I'm just not sure whether or not to be angry and upset at the fact that she just doesn't really even "TRY" to be normal, or that maybe she is severly ill and I should be there and try to understand. I know having CFS myself I should try to understand, but i know in my own defense I reallly try hard to get back to being a healthy person and having some-what normal of a life. I still work, i go to school part or full time, and most of the times i am absolutely exhausted, and don't think I can make it, but i do it because i feel like i should and i have to.

    does anyone have any advice on this?? i'm really in a predicament and not sure what to do... my family is having a hard time coping with this
  2. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    I've got it severe, but my mother had a milder version. She was still able to go shopping and work part time and do a few things, but she definitely had it. She would get real sick if she pushed too hard.

    Your mom really needs to go to a doc and get tests to rule out other stuff. She could have anything, Lyme or any number of things.
  3. Khalyal

    Khalyal New Member

    One thing I have learned from having this illness is Not To Judge. It is so difficult to try to cope with my own illness and hear people say "but you don't look sick" or "you just need to get out more" or "you're just depressed".

    Having been on the receiving end, I would not like to belittle someone else's illness. She may be much sicker than she lets on.

    Try to be supportive. You are working and going to school. I could not in any way, shape, or form do that. It doesn't mean I am not striving for health. It may be the same for her.
  4. Pansygirl

    Pansygirl New Member

    I agree that your mom should go to the doctor so that they can rule out different things.
    You know your mom and I guess I would recommend you figuring out a way to encourage her to go to the doctor so she can at least figure out what is going on.

    Everyone's body is different no matter what the illness is we react differently due to each of us being special and unique .

    Would it be possible for you or a close friend of your mom's to go with her to her doctor visits , do you think that would help?

    I will keep you all in my prayers, keep us posted okay.

    Gentle hugs, Susan
  5. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Has your mother seen a doctor about this or have a diagnosis? There could be other things causing these symptoms other than CFS and best to rule these out.

    I believe my mother had CFS also but it was before the disease was widely known.

    She did have major depression issues but I firmly believe that she may have had a bit of CFS/ME. She did not have pain.

    She also had a moderate case of Psorasis (?) which is an autoimmune disease.

    Some of us can push ourselves to do things. I used to be able to do that but now I can't. Your mom may be at a different point than yours. if she has this DD.

    Take care,
    [This Message was Edited on 07/22/2008]
  6. babyk902

    babyk902 New Member

    it means alot to me. she has gone to the doctor at some point, a couple years ago though i knwo she has lyme-issues and has had a lot of heavy metals in her system, so she's been working on getting that area up to par, but she hasn't seen a doctor in quite some time so things could be completely different now or she could have something she is unaware of... i guess i'll see how things go, and try not to judge her and support her instead, bc she could be feeling as horrible as i do, if not worse, and the worst thing is when people don't understand.

    i appreciate your answers tho, thank guys