mood swings and depression anyone????

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by joannie1, Dec 30, 2002.

  1. joannie1

    joannie1 New Member

    Some days i feel as if i am going out of my mind. I am fine one day and the next I am depressed and have terrible mood swings. I hate getting this way too. One moment I am with a good attitude that things will get better and it is like the next I have negativity about everything.
    I have had to begin the SS Disability process over again which does nothing to help the matter. In the mean time of waiting for the phone interview I apply for all these light duty office jobs they insist I can do. However I have no computer skills except for at home. All I have ever done is waitressed. I am so depressed about this because I have NEVER ever had a problem getting a job before and I have not even had one interview much less a thank you for applying we'll keep your resume on hand.
    Then there is our Rheumo in town that seen me in October who my Doctor sent me to get a clinical diagnosis of Fibro. She diagnosed me already but wanted the extra by a Rheumo due to the Disability and their strict guidelines. Well, I return to him in January and he said if he needed any tests done he would have his Nurse call me. Almost throwing me from his office mind you... Well, she hasn't so i assume he will write me off as being a "Chronic Pain Patient" like the rest of them do. I am fearing that I will jump down his throat if he does. I am tired of paying these people to write me off all the time and not help me instead. If he isn't going to do anything call to tell me don't make me waste money I don't really have.
    I have pretty good days were I can get things done in the house and then the next I can't do anything and by the time I can it is like a tornado has hit due to the Hubby and the kids' making more messes then you can imagine. It is as if they think just because I don't work I can play super woman and do it all. Well, you know, you ARE home every day.
    I am told to get out and get a job all the time. I get so hurt by this and yet nobody understands what I go through. Even the times I have worked since this set in nothing had changed. I was still doing everything and was in such brain fog when working and asking the same questions over a million times how do I do this again?? They had to get tired of it.
    I just am babbling here sorry. I can't stand these mood swings i get so much. It is like pain, fatigue then depressed. It is such a world wind i don't know how to get out of it.
    Thanks for listening.
    Joannie
  2. Vicque

    Vicque New Member

    Dear Joannie......Believe me I do understand. You have to understand and be prepared to be treated as if you are a second class citizen. But....DO NOT ever let them treat you that way. We do have to stand up for ourselves. This diease is horrid. At times I feel like such a failure to my family as well. I have been an LPN for 12 years, and currently can't work. I couldn't even make it through a shift anymore at the present. The exhaustion is unreal, and pain pure hell. But remember that there will be good days too. I marvel at the strength I have on those rare days. Just started Nuerontin and praying it will be as beneificial as all have said it to be. Even as I am writing I feel pains in my hip and back. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know what it feels like to not be bringing in any income. I feel sometimes that I don't have a right to ask for anything. I to am planning on started my fight for SSI, and have read everyone's horror stories of the refusals and years it took to get it. I'm sure you'll see me posting my own frustration on this issue in the near future. This is a great place to vent, and yes my husband gets mad over this computer......oh WEll....Peace and hope to hear from you again.......Vicque
  3. Bunnylover

    Bunnylover New Member

    Hi There!
    I know exactly where you're coming from. I have suffered with severe clinical depression and anxiety attacks all my life but was only diagnosed in 89. Being an overacheiver I had a real great job in management but I started going down hill after I received the treatment I needed. I've been on every antidepressent and have tried doing without but can't do that. Now I have back problems due to osteoathritis,Fms,Cfs,and have'nt worked since 2001. I miss work and all the people I knew.I have accepted my new way of life. I have my up days and bad days but one thing I learned is to know yourself and your body and work with what you have. There are people that can help and this board has been a god-send for me. Just keep coming back and try to seek help.Its there if you want it. Gentle Hugs Terri
  4. Beth37

    Beth37 New Member

    Hi Joannie,I can sure relate to what you are saying.I have a good day,now and then,I think maybe,I am gonna be okay,then here I am again.I have mood swings,pain,the list is just too long.I am waiting now for my hearing for SSI disability.I get really depressed and I get to where I am really anxious.Anxious,I guess you could call it anxiety.I feel I am lucky at times because I live alone,I don't have to worry about anyone elses mess,but it sure gets lonely.I get depressed because I am alone and I begin to think that I will be alone the rest of my life cause noone is going to want to be with me because of the way I am.It's scary and depressing.Well now I am rattling.I just wanted to let you know,you aren't alone.Beth
  5. LauraLea

    LauraLea New Member

    Joannie

    I had a point in my life when my depression was so bad I just wanted to crawl into a hole and live there. I found a wonderful therapist that I trusted and who did not act like it was all in my head- funny for a head shrinker.

    I must admit this was a major step for me. I don't know if you have insurance to cover it, or if it will help, but just having someone I could tell everything to really really helped a lot. Someone who didn't judge you, but would give you advice and help you understand where the depression is coming from.

    Sometimes it seems obvious why we get depressed, but sometimes there are other factors at work which I found out in my case.

    I wish you all the best and hope you can find joy and happiness like I did. My marriage was close to ending now, he is my rock.........
  6. joannie1

    joannie1 New Member

    I really appreciate it. I have been battling this every since this all started with me in 2000. Before I got hurt our life could not of been better. I had a great job, our bank was full all the time. We had just done some remodelling and was planning to sell and buy an acreage for the children to roam and live life like i did when I was a child. I had animals and a big house and big yard and things were so great growing up that way. But once everything happened to me it has been like my world has just crumbled to the ground. I have been in counselling for this. I have dealt with many issues due to this. I have a wonderful Shrink who is very kind and caring. My family Doctor (love her to death) and him try to work together to get this under control and it just is not happening. I have tried a million anti depressants and all other stuff it seems. it gets better and then all the sudden BOOM I am right back to wanting to be alone. And very depressed.
    I don't know I think it has a lot to do when i am in a lot of pain though too. Because other wise I can deal with things better.


    Beth, i feel so sad that you feel you will be alone forever. You won't be. Although you battle with this DD you are still a beautiful person inside and out and don't ever forget that!! Okay.. You will find some one I am sure of that. (Big Hugs to you)

    Again i appreciate everyones support. I really need that alot sometimes.
    Love,
    Joannie