More on Embracing the Disease

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by pearls, Jan 12, 2003.

  1. pearls

    pearls New Member

    I loved the discussion about embracing the disease, have copied it for future reference, and have been thinking about it. I was working in my garden when an analogy to it came to me. I can't say I've embraced my disease yet, but I'm working on it. I'd like to tell a story that I think will illustrate the concept to some of us. Please tell me if I don't get it yet.

    I live on a farm, and several years ago - before my fibromyalgia reared its ugly head - my husband dug a deep pond, 130 feet long. I would garden around it, though I knew that it would be semi-wild, and we would enjoy the wildlife it would attract. (By the way, I still garden. My doctor approves because he wants me to get some exercise and has not been able to get me to get started on yoga or some other, safer exercise.)

    Anyway, the first year it started out barren, but in addition to the wild flowers I had seeded, I planted squash, melons, tomatoes and Swiss chard. These were the best vegetables I had ever grown! The second year, the wild flowers, bulbs, rizomes, and roots I had planted had grown so thick I couldn't seem to get much going in the vegetable department except some squash and Swiss chard.

    By the third year, cattails had appeared. Eventually, these - in addition to the horsetail reed I had innocently planted - threatened to take over the pond. For that matter, Bermuda grass had invaded and would send long vines out into the water creating large mats of vegetation several feet out. My mint had grown like weeds - nice weeds sometimes, but weeds. Other, more noxious weeds asserted themselves like Johnson grass.

    Still, I could plant my flowers and enjoyed them. But certain kinds of weeds really bothered me. I hated them! I hated looking at them! They really interfered with my enjoyment of a feature of my property that continues, nevertheless, to give my husband, our children and grandchildren, all our relatives and friends much joy.

    It occured to me that while I'd jump at the chance if could wipe them out tomorrow, I might enjoy my pond more if I'd appreciate the forms of the weeds, too, because I could never stamp them out. I'd try to control them, but the pond would take the shape it would. I'd add my flowers and other plants, hope for the best and enjoy my pond.

    Now, I don't for a minute suggest that I should enjoy my illness, but I think the acceptance of what I cannot change might be of some help. I can find ways to comfort myself, mitigate difficulties, solve problems, or whatever...but, but my fibromyalgia won't go away and, while I don't think I will enjoy it - like I might find it in myself to do with the unwanted weeds - at least I can learn to live with it.

    Do I have it right?

  2. 1maqt

    1maqt New Member

    Stress, takes energy, negative thinking takes energy, worry, takes even, yes, we change the things we can, and let God take care of the ones we can't, and the impossible. We have prescious little energy anyway.

    I heard an enteresting thing in Church this morning and will share it:

    Look beyond your circumstances, and look only on the Lord.
    What struck me, was looking beyond my circumstances. I tend to get caught up in the desease and block out everything else (You may not have this problem).

    Kinda like the AA slogan...Let go and let God? It made me realize that I am never alone. I like your analogy of the weeds, I actually like some of them...I know I am strange.
    Strange is good! The main thing is to seek to have a more
    positive outlook and it will make your existance more tolerable....1maqt
  3. pearls

    pearls New Member

    You said you tend to get caught up in the disease." Boy, you hit that one right on. When you are hurting - really hurting - it is hard to think of anything except that reality. That's the way it is for me, too.
  4. darlamk

    darlamk New Member

    Thanks for sharing your heartfelt thoughts.
  5. Ness

    Ness New Member

    Thank you Pearls for the BEAUTIFUL insightful analogy.
    Acceptance is the first and most important step to dealing with this illness!!

    God grant me the SERENITY to ACCEPT the things I CAN NOT change..
    The Courage to Change the things I can and the WISDOM to KNOW the DIFFERENCE.!!

    What we focus on is what we get more of!!

    Peace and Rainbows to all my friends
  6. synergy42

    synergy42 New Member


    I love your story of your pond and property.

    I used to garden, too. And I was like you are "becoming not." I would see every weed I didn't want and it would drive me nutso. In fact, come to think about it, the apartment 4 plex I am now in, has a beautiful yard, too, and I also see what "shouldn't be" instead of appreciating what is beautiful.

    And I agree with 1mgt, looking only to God. "Seek ye the Lord where He may be found." This is a wonderful spiritual practice, and can be very hard to do sometimes. Like you, I can get caught up in the disease and block out everything else. And I love many "weeds" too! I was in a drawing class one time which was at a college which had just had a bunch of new building constructed. So there was a lot of wild land around it which had not been landscaped. It was wonderful for sketching, and every day the art instructor took us out there and we'd sit and draw the wild plants. I was completely ecstatic, as it was a lovely summer, and we could hear the birds singing. But one woman got real disgusted and said "when are we going to stop drawing these WEEDS??!!!" Poor thing. She was missing out on God's bounty and beauty.

    "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." Ness, I think this is a beautiful way of saying "what we focus on is what we get more of." It only makes common sense, doesn't it?


    PS I am feeling lots better today because I played Yahtzee with a friend. I love games. Where you move and touch things. I get so tired of talking and writing. My favorite thing to do is jam with my guitar or another instrument. I need to get out to the music stores and put up posters to find other retired or disabled people (or self-employed, too) who would like to jam during the day. I want to jam every day. Right now, I only jam once or twice a week, and I never practice alone. So I don't get better. I need to be a much better player than I am. I get better very fast when I practice. I get caught up in the disease/s I have and block out everything else. I feel like my lonely practice is futile and nobody cares. Nobody calls to remind me or anything. Isn't that dumb, that I can't motivate myself? It really HELPS when I play, too. I cheer up! Why don't I?

  7. coyote

    coyote New Member

    Thanks for all the inspirational words. I needed that. Last night I was re-reading the post about embracing the illness, and I really can't quite grasp it. It seems to me that the beast just keeps changing form.........from depression to CFS to FM.......whatever else. The lines get blurred for me.
    I just keep trying my best to roll with the punches.
    It helped me a lot to go out with friends today even though I was sure this morning that I was too sick to do it. I felt exhausted and sore. I forced myself to go because it was a birthday celebration, and I found myself feeling pretty good for awhile. The sore throat had gone and I was laughing. I forgot my aches for a time.
    This is a crazy disease.
  8. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I loved your story about the pond Pearls. It really took
    me a little farther in trying to embrace this illness instead of fighting it. I really understand how to do that
    a lot better now. Thank you!

    We have all had MORE then our share of suffering. How
    horrendously we all suffer but how profoundly we all grow
    spiritually from this illness and each other.

    It also gave me an idea about the pond. I live on a farm
    also would enjoy a pond in my yard. Maybe this summer we
    will make one.

    Take care,
  9. pearls

    pearls New Member


    I have not embraced it yet, unfortunately. I'm LEARNING how to do that. I think I get it intellectually, but it is another thing to get it emotionally, spiritually, psychologically and just plain down in my gut. oh well, we all have to start someplace.


  10. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    I am learning also to embrace it. Got to admit though, its not easy, it takes time. I hope to get there one day, and I will.

    I really enjoyed, learned alot from everyone on this topic, it was a joy to read it all.

    Love ya's!
  11. pearls

    pearls New Member

    I KNEW you were in there someplace, Madwolf! (Thanks for starting it all.)
  12. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    Its not that it isnt easy, LOL, maybe reword it then, its a challenge. I am always up to a challenge.


  13. pearls

    pearls New Member