More pain than usual

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Aug 19, 2011.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    We started out last winter with more snow than usual, spring brought us more rain and snow, now we have hot humid weather. In the past few months my Mom has been quite ill . She spent a week in teh hosiptal in April and then 2.5 months in rehab, Then less taht a month from her last release, She fell and broke blood vessels, she needed two units of blood and a week in the hospital. She spent about two seeks in rehab this time. Now she is home and has been under alot of stres as my brother has just upset mom by cleaning her home from top to bottom and when she asked him to stop he told her he was going to fisish what he had started.

    I moved that weekend and was not able to be there to support my mom. I have been so stressed out from having my brother cleaning, I feel like I am of no use to any one as I can't do much to help Momma, I struggle to walk, stand, sit adn move. The pain in my body from fibro ,MPS, DDD, buldging dics, adn more. I know that I am not fast at walking but I do keep my house cleaned up. I am so tired of felling like I can't do any thing to help my Mom and I can't get my family to understand my how I feel, I can help, I take my mom to her MD when ever she needs to see him, I take her shopping and to exercise when she is up to it.

    I am so upset that no one in my family undersatnds what is happening to me. They dont' take the time to even understand or realy care about what happens to me.
    UI have no one to tell how I fel or what is going on with my fibro. I hate the days where I am in so much apin and feell so useless , No one belives that fibro is any thing more than in my head or that I am makeing it up. i can't sleep at night do to the intense apin in my legs , hips and thighs, I look as my grandbabies and want so much to get down on the ground and play with them., I want to be a normal grandma and play iwth my grandbabies. I don't know what to do. I can't deal with this horriable pain any more. I just wantto be understood, loved and accepted by my family. I can't take the pain and just want to be happy and love my family and husband. Thanks so much for oetting me gripe and complain.
  2. Beadlady

    Beadlady Member

    I just wanted you to know that I understand alot of your pain and frustration. I'm sending you some hugs from me and some snuggles from my little dog Virgil Hoover~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.

    I hope tomorrow brings you some relief!

    TC Bead
  3. curlycreek

    curlycreek New Member

    I hear ya. Until we get our own very famous spokes person they just don't get it. With this illness it has forced me to be aware of how much I did for others & how I tended to put others 1st. This has been the great adjustment bureau for me. I've painfully learned to accept my limits & have been forced to find new joys in life like reading & knitting when I can. It's been depressing to accept taking care of me & pretending to ignore the needs of others, being basically selfish. It's the only way 4 me to heal my body & experience symptom lessening.

    This is what I accept: My old life & the old me went away (left the building) 7 yrs ago. It's up to me to rebuild a new me that I can live with (since I'm not dead). I learned to distance myself from friends & FAMILY, and be o.k with it. Aka it's not my problem. It's not how the old me used to think, but hey she was alot nicer. Lol
    This is going to sound terrible: if you can talk to your brother without it cause you more pain-say your peace. Same for your mother (who it sounds like you love to pieces)

    You may have come to vent, but, I want to give my 2 cents: you or mom could also reach out to the community that helps elders resolve matters. And the new me would have no problem giving that cleaning genie the choice to stop & leave on his own or call 911 & be asked to leave by the big guns. Seriously!

    I've come to love the new me, she's alot stronger than the old me. I just wish she had a better behaved body.
  4. curlycreek

    curlycreek New Member

    I felt so horrible in those situations of not being there when needed. It was like feeling unresponsible which was a great big no no. Lazy & self-centered & uncaring people let others down. Not me! I always enjoyed my time helping others. That was then. My goal is to find ways to care for others within my abilities. I'm not at that point yet. If I dwell or feel guilty about it I end up with more body pain & fatigue. Sort of counter productive to my goal.

    In the beginning, I had to pretend to be a "female dog" rhymes with "witch". I told myself I was learning a new language called bitchese. Just like learning French didn't make me French. I hope you see the humor in my story.

    Now may be the 1st & only time in your life you get to care only about yourself. That's my case. I also sadly learned how little I was respected, valued, etc. Good thing I love me. Love yourself, care for you.

    and Families are like armpits, everyone has 'em. Treat yourself nice.