Mother/Daughter phone fighting... help!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rubi_ell, Aug 23, 2005.

  1. rubi_ell

    rubi_ell New Member

    My daughter and I have been fighting endlessly over the phone, and it is wearing me out. She thinks she needs a cell phone, and I just can’t swallow the idea that a 13 year old “needs” a cell phone. I mean, I pick her up and drop her off everywhere she goes, and I know which friend’s house she’s usually at from time to time. With text messaging and video game compatibility on phones today, I don’t want her getting distracted from her studies at school, or becoming an anti-social droid like some of my girlfriend’s kids. As a safety precaution, I am almost convinced it is a good investment, but since I can’t monitor how she uses it when she’s out of my presence, I have my reservations. Is there anything else that will offer the kind of security I’m seeking (meaning, she can call me whenever she needs me), without offering other distractions and/or a hefty monthly bill?

    BLUEROSE7 New Member

    I am not a mother but yet feel like one to my younger sister at times because we are so far apart in age. She is only 14 and yes wants a cell phone as well.

    So I can understand your concern. Have you looked into maybe a Pager instead of a cell phone for her. I'm not sure but I think you can get Pagers without all the games etc.. on them(less expense) and she still will be able to get in touch with you when needed. Maybe somthing to look into...

    Or you may be able to get her a cell phone without all the extra's on games etc...

    Hope it all works out..


  3. smiffy79

    smiffy79 New Member

    hi rubi
    i consider this a good go between and the idea is really taking off where i live and we have had them for years!

    walkie talkies! you can get a good set of two for about £50 wnd with a great range on them,its free to use and all the kids have fun with them.
    it bought kids here that didnt usually speak together.

    my 8 yr old girl has started to throw fits about getting a phone so when i put this idea to her she was really pleased,the more you pay the better the range on them.

    i hope this helps,smiffy
  4. mistyd96

    mistyd96 New Member

    the Pay as you go phones? Aren't they pretty basic? And you wouldn't have to worry about huge bills each month.

  5. karatelady52

    karatelady52 New Member

    Another idea is to have her "pay" for part of the bill. She can do chores or whatever you need done.

    If the chores don't get done or are done with a bad attitude, no cell phone.

  6. Sunrise2780

    Sunrise2780 New Member

    I think the prepaid phn is an excellent idea. I got one for "emergencies" only - <Tracfone> (like waiting for Paratransit to pick me up, etc). Your daughter will have to be *responsible* as to how she uses her time.

    I believe you'll be able to keep track of the phn's mnthly costs, yet her minutes will 'roll-over' if not used (check whatever company you decide to choose, if you do).

    These prepaids are usually 10cents a minute, but some savings if you purchase "specials". But none of the 'big-time' specials the other girls are probably getting with their phones.

    If this isn't good enuf for her, then it'll be up to you. You definitely make some good points as to why you are concerned.

    Also, check into these "family-type" connections. I'm not sure how they run, but I think "someone" gets free time.

  7. rmc20021

    rmc20021 New Member

    really isn't that young to start wanting a cell phone...she wants one because everyone else has one. And she'll want one just as cool, or cooler than everyone else. And she probably won't stop asking. She's probably seeking her independance.

    My two girls bugged me and bugged me for phones, and they chose the most expensive, with all the gizmo's and gadgets. I bought them pay as you go phones...and they were just happy getting phones.

    To be honest...they have come in very handy. As the kids get older, they do become more active, even if you do drive them every where.

    As with my girls, sometimes they might want to stay later some place, or go some place else before coming home. There have been many times having cell phones has been useful.

    When I picked my girls up at middle was so funny to watch all the kids come spilling out of the building and flip their phones open.

    With my girls, when they used all their minutes, they had to wait till the next month to get them replenished. One of the girls used her minutes up in one phone call cause she was sure she had free nights and weekends, so she had to go a whole month with no service.
  8. lana33

    lana33 New Member

    I felt the same way you do. But my daughter started playing sports and having a lot of out-of-town events with school. They had state competitions 2 years in a row so would spend the night away at times.

    My daughter is 15. I got her a cell phone when she was almost 14 cause I like being able to contact her if I want to and she also can contact me. She doesn't take her phone to school cause they can't have them on anyway during school. She would have to leave it in the office.

    Also she showed me she is responsible enough to use it responsibly. I have a plan that lets family talk free anytime phone to phone. I also have unlimited nights and weekends. I haven't had to worry about her running up too many minutes.

  9. kirschbaum26

    kirschbaum26 New Member

    Dear Rubi:

    They have a new kind of cell phone that allows kids to call a certain number of pre-set phone numbers...they do not have to dial, just press the button. Incoming calls are also permitted. They can also be used for call 911, and you can even track their location on the internet.

    There are a bunch of these phones coming out this summer. One brand is called FIREFLY.

    The only other option that I could see for a 13 year old would be a basic phone (no text, no camera, etc) and she would have to pay for the minutes. They have pre-paid plans as well...which I believe always allow the phone to be used to call 911.

    Hope that helps.


    [This Message was Edited on 08/23/2005]
  10. moomie

    moomie New Member

    I haven't heard of Firefly until now, but it seems like a great choice! We've been using prepaid calling cards with our kids (14 and 16). has a toll-free number they can call from any phone. It's been working pretty well for us. Of course, they are still begging for cell phones, but like a lot of you out there, we just can't afford the extra expense right now.
  11. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Thanks for the great article. I will send it to all my grown children, and my two grandkids. All are cell phone nuts.

    I have one that stays in my purse for emergencies only. I think I have used the thing about 20 times in 10 years, only for 1-2 minutes at a time :)

    Rubi, after reading that article that Stormyskye put up, I would go for a beeper for your 13 year old. Even with a cell phone, you can't tell where anyone is calling you from.

    Shalom, Shirl

    [This Message was Edited on 08/23/2005]
  12. Sunrise2780

    Sunrise2780 New Member

    A short time after I got my prepaid phone, I had my 1st emergency (my scooter went dead!). Although I was upset, things did get straightened out. But later that nite, words started to go thru my head, so I wrote it down. I hope you don't mind my sharing this experience w/you.
    Bat Woman and My Bat Mobile
    (A Personal Experience)
    Purchased cell phone 7/29/2004

    I was feeling quite satisfied with myself as I made it to Winn-Dixie and got my sale items. I would have liked to have gone to Publix being that I was in the general area, maybe 10 minutes away on my Bat Mobile, but I was already worn out and thought it best to get me and my Bat Mobile back to my cave.

    The sun had started to set so it was time to put on my pathway lights. I was going to see how my 2 new path light bulbs were going to light my way home.

    Wow! They were bright and the road in front of me was well lit. And then it wasn’t! I was surround by darkness with just the lights of passing cars and I wasn’t going anywhere! The needle on my power gauge was completely in the red. “Houston, I’ve got a problem”! I’m Dead!

    “I’ll hit the reset button” so I thought and so I did. Nothing! No power, no lights, no reading on my power gauge. My Bat Mobile was dead and I was alone!!

    But now I’ve got a ‘trusty” pre-paid cell phone! And I thought I should call 911!. Being new to owning one, I prayed, “Please still be charged”! I dialed 911 and I connected. Saved by the grace of cellular power!

    Two police cars and 3 police persons arrived. They were informed that their call was a “weird” one. Great, now I’m known as the “weird” emergency phone call at the 911 call center. It turns out I wasn’t safe yet as they could take me home, but not my Bat Mobile. An emergency call was put through for back up.

    Within a few minutes, my “Knight in Shining Armor arrives to the rescue! Well he *was* driving this big "shining" flatbed tow truck!

    I was standing on the passenger side of the truck so I couldn’t see my “knight” exit the vehicle, all 400 pounds of him. Paul (my ‘knight’) huffed and puffed and got my Bat Mobile up on the flatbed and back to the cave we went (between his weight and smoking, I wondered if he’d see his next birthday)!

    I’m home now safe and sound. Oh … my cave? Well, it’s really my condo. My Bat Mobile? Just a mobility electric scooter. But I’ve got a faithful computer and with that I can speed all over cyberspace and not worry about power gauges and going dead, except for an occasional blackout. But at least I’ll be safe in my cave, uh condo.

    So if you’re driving and notice a chubby dark haired senior citizen speeding at 5.75 mph on her electric scooter, blink your lights and give a friendly wave. It just might be I, Bat Woman and my Bat Mobile!
  13. matthewson

    matthewson New Member

    Some recent media reports suggest that WHO's International EMF Project has changed its recommendation regarding precautionary measures for children using mobile phones. This followed a meeting in Ottawa, Canada in July 2005 to discuss the use of precautionary measures in areas of public health where there is scientific uncertainty.

    To date, all expert reviews on the health effects of exposure to RF fields have reached the same conclusion: There have been no adverse health consequences established from exposure to RF fields at levels below the international guidelines on exposure limits published by the International Commission on Non-Ionizing Radiation Protection (ICNIRP, 1998).
  14. Randi_Mae

    Randi_Mae New Member

    To make my message short.... I have a cell phone for my daughter who is 14.. The plan allows evenings and weekends free, so that's when she is allowed to use the phone. The rest of the time it's in my room. This compermise woorks well with us.. Just a thought..
  15. JLH

    JLH New Member

    The only type of cell phone that I would permit a young teen of mine would be one of the pre-paid phones. My 3 children are all adults now (which their own cel phones, of course), but we have neighbors who have gotten their kids cell phones (NOT the pre-paid) and one ended up with a $900 cell phone bill!!!

    So, it would be a pre-paid phone, with no cameras, text messaging, etc. etc. etc. And, I think it wouldn't hurt for her to pay for some of the minutes.

    However, I would not let this phone be the teen's main phone to use in the evening. That's what the phone installed in the house is for! This would be a phone for while she is out and an emergency happens, or a change of plan happens, etc.

    Cell phones weren't popular when my kids were young teens. But, when my nephew wanted one quite a few years ago, his mom said that the only kids who had cell phones and pagers were the "drug dealers" - they would be paged or called when they had a deal for someone, etc. I don't know if this was true or not -- but this was years ago!!! Times have changed .... and are changing fast ..... and faster every day!!!!!!!!

    I have one that I keep in my purse to use for emergencies only. I have only 30 minutes on it and pay only $15.95/month. And ... I can tell you that those 30 minutes are gone before you know it!!! I normally use it to call my hubby when I'm going to be home late, and most recently, to call someone to come and get me when my car overheated!!!

    When my kids went off to college, I insisted that they have a cell phone and carry it with them when coming home, etc. They both thought it was a nuisance. However, when my daughter got about 1-1/2 hours away on the interstate and the thermostat went out in her car and she was stranded on the side of the road, when she called home for Dad to come and get her "fast", she said "I'm so glad that Mom made me keep this phone!" She never regretted carrying that phone with her again!!

    Of course, the cell phones were just called car phones then, and it was this big "bag phone" that plugged into the cigarette lighter and you had this magnetic antenna that you stuck on top of your car for the reception!! No neat little flip-phones like they have out now!

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