Mother dissaproves of med that keeps me nonbedridden.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by baanders, Sep 22, 2008.

  1. baanders

    baanders New Member

    I am a grown woman, 36. I am also happily married away from my mother. Before I started taking subutex, I was bedridden with bone and muscle pain everywhere. I was in a depression.

    Now that I am up and about, my mother senses that I am on a new medication. She thinks medications are evil and out of God's will. She notices that it makes me somewhat anxious. My dr and husband and I agreed benefits outweighed risk of some anxiety and gave me meds to help.

    I can do so many more things now. I can laugh a lot more, too. I just think my mother has no idea how bad the pain was, for ALMOST 8 YEARS. This med is a last resort for me. I've tried everything else.

    I ask her to leave me alone and she won't. She does the laundry and makes a special organic soup.

  2. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    My grown kids (20s) have taught me that they are their own people and they are going to do what they think is right, not what I think is right. If I don't agree, and sometimes I don't, I can either suck it up or suffer the eye rolling and warning glances.

    Were I so foolish as to push beyond this point they would give me less of their time and would not confide in me. If I want their confidence, I have to respect their right to be who they are.

    They would tell you that at 36 you do not have to confide in your mother or reveal anything to her that you don't want to. I think they'd be right.

    Good luck to you,
  3. baanders

    baanders New Member

    She is very legalistic and thinks she can demand God when and TO heal me. Her religious beliefs are very odd as concerns healing. I believe in divine healing, but not on our schedule.

    My mother is very medically ignorant. SHE HAS SEEN ME TOTALLY BEDRIDDEN AND HAS BEEN HAPPIER WITH THAT!!!!!!!!! My husband and I can do the laundry's just that the machine is too slow. We can cook the soup together, too.

    I had severe pain and was given a poor prognosis.

    thank you
    [This Message was Edited on 09/22/2008]
  4. baanders

    baanders New Member

    My anorexic twin sister lives at home with mommy and Daddy still at the age of 36 for no apparent reason. All I can think is that my sister weighs 92 lbs. I weigh 106. No man wants to sleep with a bag of bones. And my sister is too babified to live on her own. My sister has shingles and complains she couldn't take it for more than a few months. SHE IS THE ONE THAT IS IRRITABLE AND HANGS THE PHONE UP ON ME.

    My mother and father baby her and have learned to continue to treat me like a child. I cannot change my mother. I have thought of kicking her out of my life. I already kicked my verbally abusive father out of my life.

    I on the other hand have suffered with severe pain for almost 8 years. Tried everything. Subutex treats me the best and has given me a good quality of life.
  5. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    She told me I need to be put in rehab and put on methadone! She told me I am addicted to my pain pills. She says I need to just live through the pain. she has fibro too, but her pain is no where near what mine is. I also have lyme disease, she does not. I am in extreme pain that I can't deal with without pain pills. I can't get out of bed and take care of my 2 little girls without the meds. She told me I need to get off the meds and clean up my house. Nice mom! I do as much as I can. Some days just keeping up with the girls is all I can do. They are 2 and 4, and the 4 yer old has special needs. I feel like pure hell today. I feel like my eyes are on fire from the inside and my hands are burning so bad, so is every inch of my body, burning and aching so bad, but I'm not supposed to take pain meds, that is bull!

    I wish my mom was a little more understanding.
  6. cordy250

    cordy250 Member

    it looks to me (and please note that this is just my opinion) that some mothers do not want their children to grow up. They want them to be dependent on them for the rest of their lives.

    Sorry, but that ain't right. Your mom wants you in bed so she can take care of you. No self respecting adult WANTS that. You have a way out of being bedridden and you choose that life for yourself.

    It is really hard to tell your mother what to do, I know, believe me. But you must.

    You can't ask her to leave you alone, you must tell her what you are going to do. Tell her you would still like to have her in your life but it must be on your terms. Let her make the decision to stay or leave.
  7. baanders

    baanders New Member

    Subutex was given to me by my doctor. I want to help you. You sound on the verge of breakdown. But I'm not sure. I read your bio. You are beautiful. You have more in your life than I do. You are so blessed to have all of those children. I was very sick at 28. That's when I had to take meds for sleep and pain. So far subutex has helped the most. According to my dr, the pain-reducing effects last for a long time.

    I want to have a baby so bad it is driving me to counseling. I am happy for you, yet sad the way your mother treats you. It must be worse for you.


  8. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    I have been on Subutex for 3 years and also doing great. I was also bedridden before and have never had another bed day.

    It is a miracle and I am so grateful. My suggestion is to keep your personal medical issues to yourself as respects to your mother. Stand your ground with your mother - she really does not have the right to pressure you like this.

    You are right to follow your doctor. Just ask your mom to please let and your doctor decide whats best.

    I have tried to tell others here about Subutex and they just don't understand it.

    [This Message was Edited on 09/22/2008]