mother insisting on psychiatric evaluation for help

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by brainfoggy, Jul 15, 2008.

  1. brainfoggy

    brainfoggy New Member

    My posts here are usually not personal related and I am a pretty private person... but I really feel NOT in control of my life in ANY way, and before illness I have to admit was pretty protective with not allowing men/parents/anyone control me. Anyone else feel a huge loss of control???

    My mother is a total nut case. Certifiable. She likes to project her craziness on me. Nevertheless, she has agreed to listen in on a doctors appt. tomorrow and "debate" whether I have CFS. The woman has no maternal insticts, never has, she just likes having some sort of sick upper hand, as I am desperate and she's got the funds.

    What I'm concerned with is the embarrassment or her sabotaging my relationship with a good doctor who could potentially help me. She made no guarantee to help with expenses and I have no way of paying this doctor for his time and recommendations as I am completely broke and incable of working yet. I will be getting lyme lab results back and thyroid tests. I don't need her piping in every two seconds, I have an agenda and I do not want her to ruin it. This could be a turning point and I need help from her, but i feel like she is only dangling a carrot in my face and had no intention of helping financially.

    I'm praying that she will just PAY for it!!! SHe also said she is requiring a psychiatric evaluation as part of any help reagardless of what the doctor tells her. We don't speak...I emailed her and said SSDI already did this mental illness thing and I was found to be depressed as a result of being CHRONICALLY ILL. But what a GREAT suggestion! I would love to talk to a psychiatrist experienced with helping people cope with a chronic illness. It really sucks... and so do people, especially the ones who are supposed to care and the doctors who profit off of sick people.

    As if this illness isn't bad enough, I know many others have similar stories and worse...

    Any advice on how to approach the doctor about her and her intentions before she calls? What should I say... sorry my moms crazy it's really embarassing but I need her to pay? How do I make sure I get what I need?

    Thanks
    Mandy


  2. moreinfoplease

    moreinfoplease New Member

    I can relate, having had (a now deceased) crazy father.

    First thing, I think to ask yourself is whether your mother has the means of paying for the drs appt and whether in your heart of hearts you think she has any intention of doing so.

    If the answer to those questions is yes, then I think the goal is to let her think she has control without allowing her to mess things up for you.

    Definitely, if you are able to, go ahead and talk to the doctor ahead of time. You don't have to say your mom is crazy (and I'd say don't, even if she is because some interrpret that you are the one with the problem) or even go into any detail. I would just briefly say that your mom has a lot of her own issues and because of that has a tendency to take over and monopolize appointments, etc.

    Tell him it is important to you that you are able to cover certain issues in the appointment, and ask that the appointment be structured so that he give you test results, discuss those with you, and then leave time for you mom to ask questions at the end, or something like that.

    If you don't get to talk to him ahead of time, you can in front of your mother, suggest such an agenda for the appointment without saying of course that she has lots of issues.

    Or maybe best of all, you could include her in only the last portion of the appointment.

    A lot of people have "crazy" relatives, so hopefully the dr can be understanding. If she acts crazy I would do whatever I could not to act crazy back (ie get triggered by her), so that the dr can see she is the one with the mental health problem, not you.

    As far as her requiring a psychiatric evaluation, I think your idea is good, see if you can find someone who is experienced with helping people cope with a chronic illness and use it to your advantage.

    I hope some of this helps, I am writing stream of conciousness on a bad brain fog day, so I don't know if it will, but I wanted to respond because as I say I've had my experience with crazy parents.
    Good luck.
  3. brainfoggy

    brainfoggy New Member

    Good advice. Sorry you are so brainfogged! I appreciate your response. I'll suck it up and keep my trap shut for the greater good and hopefully she will too. I will try to speak with him beforehand.

    I'll also let you know the outcome as I know you may consider him. I have another CFS friend who recommended his aunt to him and is possibly considering seeing him after I give him the details of my treatment. Will let you know how it goes.

    Are you taking any supps for the fog? What are you taking?? What helps my brain are B12, Co Q10, Ribose, and amino acids (tyrosine, threonine, NAC). Whey protein is good it has lots of aminos. Another thing that I like is the Energy Revitalization System by Dr. Teitelbaum as a good basic supp with everything you need. You can get it and the others for cheaper on vitacost.com.

    The fog is from toxicity so if you can, try to get it out. Drink alot of lemon juice, I put stevia in it. I'll sometimes take high doses of Vit C until I go, use a product called Thisilyn Digestive Cleanse by Natures Way to eliminate toxins (works really well, get it on vitacost) and the methylation supplements have helped too.