Hi Everyone..I am new to this board..I'm a 48yr. married woman with a son - almost 16yrs old..I have a soon to be 79yr. mother who is currently in a Skilled Nursing Facility..She has been there almost a yr..Jan. 2001, she needed an illeostomy, & after surgery she had to go to the home for rehab..When her rehab was up, I brought her back to my home where she had lived for the last 5yrs. after my fathers death..My mother is also considered legally blind due to macular dengeration..Well when I brought her home, I was her 24/7 caregiver with no help, except that from my husband and son..I got totally exhausted and physically and mentally got sick..Well I had her home only 12days when she had to have her illeostomy reversal 3months early..After 2nd surgery, she once again entered the same skilled nursing facilty..I was hoping to bring her back home upon completion of her rehab..Well things have not worked out..They had stopped her physical therapy short of its time, due to the fact she couldn't do it..They would tell and show her how to do it, but 5 minutes later she would foget..She was later diagnosed with "short term memory loss" & "Dementia/Alzheimers"..I am still considered her caregiver in a way, because I'm the one that does everything as far as medical bills, going to visit all the time, and making sure she has what she needs and wants..The facility she is in is very good, and they go out of their way to help her and also help me..I was just wondering if there is anyone here in a similar situation?.My Mom has really gone back as far as her "mind"..I used to go to the nursing home almost everyday, until Aug. 2001, when I almost had a nervous breakdown..Dr. told me I had to slow down & start spending time with my husband and son..I have cut back on visits, but it's also me that my Mom takes everything out on..If she gets a meal she doesn't care for, it's my fault..She accuses me of having an affair on my husband, dealing & doing drugs, you name it..There is no way you can get through to people when they are like this, but it's very stressful for me..At times, she thinks I should be able to bring her home and take care of her..She needs 24hr supervison (she also can't walk without a walker and the help of someone)..I often feel guilty, but yet I know down deep inside I could never do it..I have tried to get help in here, but the most anyone could give me would be 3hrs a day on a scheduled time..My husband works long hours and I need to spend time with my son and take care of his needs too..My mother doesn't think that way, she thinks she should come first..Despite, everything that she thinks, I still love her with all my heart..She thinks if I don't visit every day, that I'm a nasty, non-caring daughter..She has a son (my half-brother) who visits her 1x weekly if that..I have to have a life of my own too..So far, I have a great kid, who does very well in school, likes skiing and bowling and really stays out of trouble - I'd like to keep it that way..Does anyone on here have loved ones with dementia, do they halucinate or have delusions of stuff that makes absolutely no sense at all..Even though she is no longer in my house, it's still very difficult for me to see her like this and I often end up making myself half nuts..The days that I don't go in, I still call her on the phone atleast 2xdaily..Even though she might not make much sense, I want her to know I'm thinking of her and love her...Does anyone out there understand this..Anyone that could give me any suggestions...Well I guess I let this get too long..Sorry.. Have a Good Day Everyone!!!!