Motivation ideas?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by hermitlady, Mar 18, 2013.

  1. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    I'm sure I'm not the only one here who has trouble getting motivated to get things done. I may have a couple of days where I get myself up and moving, but of course most days are a struggle.

    I've tried making lists and setting small goals, but some days I just can't seem to do anything. I deal w the dreaded depression that becomes worse when the FM/CFS is bad. After 15+ yrs of this, you'd think I would learn to cope better. Some days I am just frozen and lifeless.

    Any ideas on how to deal w this. Some of you surely are up and about, getting things done. How do you do it? I haven't worked outside the home for the last 17 yrs, first as a SAHM, now because I'm too sick to get a job.

    I just want to feel like I'm living, being somewhat normal. Lately I've been thinking a lot about how I was before these dd took over my life. I want some of that back! Are my days of "living" over, or can I somehow overcome this dreadful feeling of being so stagnant?

    I've never had much self esteem, some of you have heard me beat myself up repeatedly. I guess I'm just hoping for some support again if anyone can help. I really feel that only those of us living w these issues can understand and give some helpful advice.

    As always, thank you...I don't feel like leaning on my family for ideas right now. Sometimes I feel like I'm on my own so to speak cuz nobody I know really knows how it feels to be so sick. They're supportive to a point, but nobody lives close to us. My dh is working long hrs getting our masonry business going, we're still in the first year but doing pretty well. My dh is a very self motivated, hard working man...wish I could be more like him sometimes.

    Love to you all......Hermit
  2. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    You are amazing, always here to help us.

    Over the wkend I bought some potting soil and got some pots together for transplanting the few houseplants i have. But that was as far as I got. No energy to carry the big bag of soil to the backyard from the garage. Ridiculous!

    I do little things and get so fatigued, to me it seems like I've done a lot (laundry, vac one room, stuff like that) but it never looks like I get anywhere. So frustrating.

    I used to get excited about future plans, projects and outings. NOw it's hard to regain any of that enthusiasm. It's strange, cuz at night when I lay in bed, I think of things I should do the next day and I feel somewhat hopeful. But when the next day comes, I'm lost again.

    Like now, it's afternoon and I'm still struggling to get myself in the shower and dressed. Just waste so much time procrastinating and feeling miserable. Had a couple of crying meltdowns today, trying to find the strength to push myself to do SOMETHING! OK, I'm going to shower right now, gotta get moving in some direction before the whole day is shot.
  3. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    I've gone off of Prozac before several times, I've often wondered if it was turning me into a zombie. I only take 20mg now, but have been at higher doses. I definitely noticed an overall dullness when at 40mg.

    I've actually been thinking about quitting it lately, just to see if I "liven up" a bit. But, my depr is real and it can get really scary. I don't know anymore what's causing or helping my issues.

    My chiro muscle tested me last wk on a few things that I brought in. There was a negative reaction to Prozac and the D3 I've been taking for the last couple of yrs. He's given me Cataplex D by Std Process instead. Also, a couple of herbs I take for hot flashes and headaches which I know have helped me gave negative responses.

    Doc explained that sometimes a person will test negative to a substance that is helping one issue in your body, but it might be harming something else in your body at the same time. I'm still taking my herbs anyway. But maybe it's time to chuck the Proz for awhile.

    I'm already moderately depressed, so who knows. I'm having trouble w an ulcer that comes and's hard to eat or take many pills. Burning pain in my gut and nausea, no fun. Can't take anything for my pain but Tylenol and that's almost worthless at this point.

    I've done the Thyroid dance several times, synthetic and Armour...neither helped even at varied doses. I'm just so sensitive to anything I put in my body!

    Any info you share is always appreciated, you're one of the great constants around here. Hope you're doing well now that your new med seems to be helping. xo
  4. herennow

    herennow Member

    I have a small business I (kind of) do from home. As you can imagine, what I'm able to execute is important.

    And yet I went through years when I repeatedly made plans then didn't fulfill them. Over and over this happened; I felt bad and gave myself a battering. Was I lazy? Unmotivated? A poor time manager? I looked for all reasons. I bought products relating to motivation. I bought software that 'forced' good time management.

    In the end here's what I found.

    What's lacking is energy. There's no way to do certain things I have don't have energy. When I have energy I do em all with ease. Suddenly those other things I mentioned aren't a problem. When I don't have sufficient good health, I sit and procrastinate.

    With this understanding I began to assess which tasks I *could* do based on my true reality. True reality, as in my past track record with different tasks. These are examples of tasks that for me are energy intensive and I'm therefore likely to not complete.

    - Writing prose for business purposes eg documents, sales proposals, emails to clients
    - Editing important prose in documents or articles
    - Multi step projects - 4 steps or more

    The things above will sit in my intray for months or years or forever.

    On the other hand these are things I can do (with low energy).

    - Using complicated software possibly including stuff like graphic or video editing
    - Communicating with freelancers (NOT clients)

    I also accept that I will have ups and downs in energy. So I postpone work for the good days and do it then. Today is a good day and I did work that I'd been unable to do for the last week (I tried several times and failed - it's not an exact science or anything).

    It took me a long time to realize what I wrote here. I no longer beat myself up. I don't feel guilty. I am not lazy. I believe now that hard working people are first and foremost simply energetic people.

    So to summarize, for me, this dilemma is solved in 2 ways:

    1) Being less ambitious about what I want to achieve. I must use past behaviour as a guide. "I will write 30 articles next year" will lead to disappointment because it has in the past (**unless I feel better of course, but I don't0**)

    Instead possibly modify to "I will DICTATE 30 articles next year and see if I can cheaply hire a transcriber." THAT I WILL achieve, the first, no matter what, I probably won't.

    2) Postponing certain work for the more energetic days.


    One thing I've discovered with chronic fatigue is that positive thinking as taught by self help gurus is limited. Understanding my limits here and now is more useful.
  5. ellikers

    ellikers New Member

    I got a lot of support and help reading books about pacing and pain management.

    My favorites:

    Managing Pain Before it Manages You

    Fibromyalgia and Chronic Myofascial Pain: A Survival Manual

    They have lots of information, tips, and methods for coping with chronic pain, fatigue and various really frustrating conditions.
  6. gb66

    gb66 Well-Known Member

    I feel like I've accomplished a great deal in a day anytime I can shower and shampoo in the same day or cook dinner with my husband's help. I'm not kidding.

    I've had this for 34 years and it doesn't get easier, I just adapt more. For the last 4 years I've had to use a wheelchair to go to the doctor. I never go anywhere else. My husband is my only support. Grown kids aren't involved, just living their own lives.

    I don't look back on how things used to be because I know they're not going to be that way again, but then healthy people can't go back either. No one can.

    I try to accept my situation, I do fairly well most of the time, but there are times, like when I'm being hit with another health problem, that I temporaily fall apart. I would be okay with things staying the same at this point. I just don't want to get any worse.

    I've had the CFS/FM complicated by osteoarthritis, IBS, pelvic prolapse (due to FM), brain cyst, ocular migraines, diabetes 2, high cholesterol and low thyroid. The last 5 have developed in the last few years.

    As for living somewhat normal, I don't think any of us feel like that after a few years with this. Just do the best YOU can, some days you'll do more than others. Don't put stesses on yourself to do certain things, just give yourself a break. That's what will make the difference in whether or not you get depressed about your life. (Not talking about clinical depression here). I think you're doing really well. GB66

  7. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    Sorry I didn't get back sooner, but I had a scary crash yesterday evening after doing a few things around the house. I was trying to change the sheets on my bed and nearly fainted. I've been resting in bed all day, just wiped out still.

    This is what I'm talking about, I get myself up and just do a few little things, and BAM I'm flattened again. Feeling more depressed today, don't think this would be the right time to quit my Prozac....

    You all have written some priceless words here...I have read everyone of them, but don't have it in me to comment to each of you individually right now. Please keep me in your thoughts. And anymore info and ideas are always welcome. xoxo
  8. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    Please do not worry about what you wrote as being too strong worded...I didn't take it at all like that. You are always kind and helpful in your posts, never anything bad at all.

    I'll see how I feel today, just got back from taking kids from school and feel like going back to sleep! It's hard not to climb back in bed in the mornings after everyone is off to school and work. I love having the house empty and quiet!

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