moving and cant help

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Sissy123, Jan 2, 2006.

  1. Sissy123

    Sissy123 New Member

    we have bought a house, farm really, that is 150 years old. needless to say it needs alot of work. i jumped right in and started, and finished painting cabinets, two toned, with alot of looking up, alot of arm movement...i was in so much pain after that i was lucky to sit in my recliner instead of bed! i had cervical surgery last january and it helped with the radial pain down my arm, but i am left with extreme muscle spasms in my neck and shoulders, mid back. I am just venting since i feel i have done everything that can be done to help this. Meds, therapies, Dr after Dr. Surgery...I just feel worthless. I cant help move a thing and I use to be so on the ball, we would have already been done and moved. I was very athletic and have 4 kids, which are grown and now I have 4 beautiful grandchildren. I just cant help and I cant go on feeling so helpless and worthless. I am trying so hard to accept my condition and not bother my family anymore about it because I know I will have to live with it forever, or until they actually find something to relieve muscle spasms. It is all very depressing to have searched for 20 years {after got hit by a truck, while walking} and then getting rammed from behind by a combine and looking back seeing it coming and running up over the back of the car. I instantly had severe neck pain. I did break my back in the truck thing also. I just want to get at a place where I can function without paying for it later. Anyone else know what I mean? I dont want to bother my family about it anymore. sissy123
  2. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    I do truly understand your plight! You want to be who you were before this illness, but your body says, "Whoa!" You feel guilty because you can't do any more, but you already have done a big job. But, telling your family you can't is hard. Do they believe you? Do they know and understand your physical condidion?

    If they had the same physical limits you do, would you think they were bothering you when they told you how they felt and what their limits were? Probably not.

    I am so sorry for the pain and for the guilt you are feeling. You may understand all of this in your head, but I don't think it's really sunk into your soul...you have limitations and that doesn't make you less of a person. You are still a valuable person even if you were confined to bed. People are intrinsically valuable. So, chin up.

    This is just to offer you another way to look at this whole thing and to remind you what a terrific person you are. And, I bet your husband, children, and grandchildren agree.

    Hugs,
    Sue
  3. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    ....we have fixed up a lot of houses, doing most of the work ourselves (18). When we bought this house, I just knew there would be things I MUST NOT DO. 1) painting ceilings and anything that involves gholding neck back 2) anything that involves squatting 3) stop heavy lifting 4) take many breaks and take longer to complete 5) If I am hurting really more than a 3 on scale, just don't even try and that 3 will soon be a 10!

    Even just getting older makaes us achier but the FM too just means we have to do something else. I do this now, have a friend paint, and I'll make big pot of chilli for her instead. Trade. I know it is hard to accept when one is used to being active. I like to walk 4 miles a day, but when I am in a flare up, just cannot do the walking more than round the block and even that takes effort. So pace yourself. House sounds like it is great though. Where we live, the city has its own "dollars" so one can trade work or dollars you exchange for other people's work dollars (barter system-very progressive. There's a "dollar directory" so you can see what your earned dollars will buy-for eg child care dollars may get you $50 City dollars, you then can use those dollars to "buy" painting that may equal $50 (city). This works out really well. We can trade YMCA fees for volunteering too to an extent. Cool place to live despite the COLD winters in Upstate NY.
    Be kind to your self Love Cromwell
  4. Sissy123

    Sissy123 New Member

    I needed to hear that although I have many problems helping my family move, I still am able to do many things. I really needed to hear how "able" I still am and how my family does really value me. I am stubborn and pacing myself has come at some costs to me and my family. I am learning. I push things with my legs instead of picking them up, I cut big jobs into many little ones, I take many breaks, and my family is so alert to my activities and tell me to watch how much I do or "Dont you even think about doing that!" I am a very lucky woman to have such a family to rely on. They are very understanding of my conditions and cook for me when I am down and at times, when I need it, they scorn me for being so stubborn and forgetting the last time I did this, again! Thank you again for your uplifting and heartwarming thoughts. I feel much better now. Keep warm and good night. Sissy