mum of four hard to cope

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ellenrose, May 25, 2006.

  1. ellenrose

    ellenrose New Member

    hi i am new although not to fibro and mE. i had a viuis 12years ago. anway the problem is i have been married 17 years and looked after my kids well ontill october last year. my daughter who is 14 was hitting me and cursing and i took her to the doc because she said she hated herself. she waS sent to see phicolist who spook to her for 10 min then asked to speak to me. i told her my husband had hit me twice and she said we need concelling. great i thought . when i got home i asked will you go to family concelling to which he said nothing wrong with us i is you and your illness.my daughter said she hated mefor bring her to doc.i think any mother would have done the same. i had to leave that night with my 8 year old daughter. now he has told the kids i left them i leaved him because he controled me .they said all i did all day was lay in bed most day yes but they just dont get the tiedness and pain i an missing griving for them to see me and they dont because i left ther dad debbie
  2. mom4three

    mom4three New Member

    Wow I don't even know what to say. I am so sorry you are going through all of this.

    I wish I had answers for you. I wish I could tell you how to fix this.
    I can't. All I can say is that your husband sounds narrow minded and does not support you.
    Your daughter is at a very hard age. She probably feels like she is loosing you and in return lashes out.

    Where are you staying? How old is your other children?

    Maybe you could have them come to this site and see what you are going through and your not alone. Maybe you could print out the information sheet and give it to your husband.

    Has he ever gone to the doctor with you? What were you diagnosed with?

    I am so sorry hon. Big hugs to you
  3. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    people with FM/CFS have a problem handling any kind of stress .If your husband has hit you its both physical and mental abuse .You are right to remove your self from that situation .You need to stand up for your self so your children will learn hitting is wrong .Teach your children they should love them self and take care of their self and value their life .The way to teach this to them ,is by example of how you will take care of your self.
    You do need to get help and counseling.
    You also did the right thing taking your daughter to the Doctor . Teens that say they hate themselves are at risk for depression and it should be taken serious .Specially if there is violence involved , either between you and her or you and her father.
    You need to take care of yourself first. Maybe your doctor can talk to your family and help them to understand your illness .I think sometimes families act the way your daughter and husband have is they do not have coping skills to be able to accept your illness . These DD's affect the family I think as much as it hurts us just in a different way.
  4. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    It's the best think that you could do for your kids.It will teach them that a man hitting his wife is not permitted
  5. ellenrose

    ellenrose New Member

    thank you so much for your repley my kids are 8 11 14 16 all girls i live in rented house as i cant work at the minute i have tryed to give them all information on me and fibro . my husband never came to doc with me in all the years 12 my father did and mother thank god for them .i hope you are eased with pain today .
  6. ellenrose

    ellenrose New Member

    i have gone to womens aid which helps with violence in the house .my husband said i am a failer in life and rearing my kids i know i am not . but i had to leave 3 kids one with me she is an angel.she is only 8