My aniversary present . please pray for us(long post)

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by daylight, Aug 31, 2008.

  1. daylight

    daylight New Member

    Well I made as nice of a dinner as I could with my daughters help. A nice pot roast. I get a call around 7pm . He's at his mother's house doing laundry.
    (He stays there during the week to save money on gas go to and from work) He'd been out of work for almost a month. We have nothing left .All the bills are due or way overdue and rent is due tomorrow . We still have no money.Except he borrowed money for some food and gas.
    So getting back to Friday night...... He calls and sound tired and possibly drinking . (his father has beer in the house). He says to give he another hour or so but he afraid that he may fall asleep at the wheel.Then he hangs up. So I'm thinking that I don't want to be a widow on our anniversary so I call him back to say just sleep there and come home in the morning. He's fine at first with this and then he starts yelling at me. He say that he is very depressed and was happier when he was just living on his own. I was told that I'm not a good wife. That every time he'd try to get intimate with me that he hurts me. I said that was 6 months ago and with RA things do change. (I have MCTD) not just RA. I was told that he's tired of hear constantly about me hurting and seeing my pain. That he can't deal with it . I said that I can't either but I have no one else to talk to . Also I don't talk about this all the time . It's just part of who I am and I don't like it either. He says that he's not happy when he's with me . That we don't do anything. I said how can we when I can't work and we still haven't applied for SSDI yet . Then he was yelling more. Blaming the doctors for not dx'ing me sooner. Then he says that he is not going to dealing with this anymore . I say what do you mean (crying more) . This is our anniversary . What are you telling me . He say I'll talk to you later and hangs up.
    So I talk to my daughter and say if he walks out on us she can maybe live with here father but have no where to go but a shelter. And around here they are always full,mostly with junkys. So I call him back for the second time and we have another talk . I talked about the thinks I like in him and how God can help us more than just salvation . My husband has a catholic background and (he) doesn't read the scripture much. I felt like I was comely giving him a sermon on Gods character,grace/mercy. I told him that this is my second marriage and I didn't take our marriage lightly. I'd had a few other that had ask me to marry them before him but God told me to marry my husband so I did. I asked him if he'd felt that God made a mistake putting us together? He said no . But he's tired of always going through hard times.(I'm putting alot of this in better words than he used,he was cussing alot)So we got to a place in the conversation when he seemed to be listening to me . I said that God wants us to be a team and until we can work as one (and Pray together) things will continue as they have been. My husband can pray with almost anyone but me for some reason. Well we left things at that. He came home at 7:30 the next morning. He still hasn't said anything about that night. Just tries to make small talk. He's at church now and I'd staid home. All this is getting to me and I didn't want him to see me in pain at church.
    I'm not allowed to talk about how I feel anymore. To him or anyone else while he is in ear shot. No one at church can hear from me how we are really doing or he gets very mad.People at church love him cause he plays guitar and is able to help out here and there. I'm not able to help unless I get a ride there or it ok'd with my husband first.
    My husband was raised that the man is always right and that there is womens work and mens work. But the women is supposed to work outside of the house too to help out if needed. Of course I can't do that.
    Well this post is starting to sound like a Hallmark movies of the week . So with that ....Please keep us in prayer.
    Thank you
  2. daylight

    daylight New Member

    I ask him how it went. I heard first about who was doing worship,vaguely about the sermon. I ask if he'd talked to pastor about our situation and he said no.
    I said why not? He said that he was busy . Ok I said but you need to talk to him cause you dropped a bomb on me on our anniversary. he said that everyone hope that I'd be feeling well soon and I said that my stomach hurt from lack of sleep and stressing over what was said on Friday. I told him that I can understand depression very well. And that it just gets worse if you stop talking to people . That I don't want to live my life in front of a tv,cleaning house for a husband who won't to anything but accuse me of making his life miserable. He said that I will never see him of my "idea" of a good husband. I said that is so not true! So he got feed up and broke two large bowls in the sink.
    (there is a lot of detail I'm leaving out here)
    I'm scared . He is very angry right now . Not violently .It's emotional and verbal . For years I've know that my husband "could" be bipolar but I don't know for sure. He did a lot of drugs when he was younger and that could be the cause to. Ultimately only God can help us . I can't do anything right in his eyes .
  3. daylight

    daylight New Member

    I tried to apologize to him for any misunderstandings and he seemed to understand. But then he just stood up and went to bed. He's been sleeping now for three hours. He sleeps alot. This is a huge battle but I got no were to go if he left me. I don't have family or friends that could take my daughter and I in . Actually I don't have any friends either. People don't seem to want you around them if your sick . Even if I don't talk about my illness it's very visible in me. Can't hide swollen crooked fingers,severe muscle weakness ect.....
    well enough of my pity party.

    thank you for praying . I know that God will get us through this trial . It's
    just very hard . I already was divorced once to a cheating husband and I can't go through that again.
    things will work out ....they have to.

  4. poets

    poets Member

    You're in my prayers too. I have been through a situation close to what you are describing, with my first husband. He was physically and emotionally abusive on top of everything else. It took a lot of prayer but God delivered me.

    Now once again, I'm faced with a bad situation with my present husband and several other family issues. But I have to hold on and pray . That is my best defense right now.

    I'll keep praying for your situation. I know it's scary. I'm scared right now too. But we must keep looking up.

    It will work out. Someway. If we trust and believe. Hold on.

    Love,
    Meg