my b'day tomorrow...extended family rejected me :(

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by baanders, Sep 22, 2006.

  1. baanders

    baanders New Member

    I'll be 34 tomorrow. It's hard living with FM. I'm in a flare/depression today caused by driving the other day.

    It makes it harder that my extended family rejected me when I got diagnosed 4 years ago. I tried to educate them, but they think that fibro is contagious and don't know how to befriend me anymore. No telephone calls or birthday cards. I tried reaching out to these people several years ago, but I was greated with anger, ignoring the subject, and ignoring me all together. I just can't fibure it out. I just got done crying.

    Thank you guys for being my family and supporting me. Please believe me that I am a really nice person.

    God bless you all.
  2. They think fibro is catching! That is the stupidest thing I have heard. I am sorry they ignore you. Do you talk about your health all the time? Sometimes that can be a turn off. But really to ignore you!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY a day early. Ignoring you is their loss!
  3. angelstapleton

    angelstapleton New Member


    Sorry to hear about your famly . The best thing you can do is kill them with kindness. Try and not let them get to you . Enjoy your brithday go and do somthing just for you.
    We all care about you here and only wish you the best.
    Have a great Brithday from your friend on the chat board.
    Bless you Angel
  4. musikmaker

    musikmaker New Member

    Happy Birthday to you
    Happy BIrthday to you
    Happy Birthday dear baanders
    Happy Birthday to you

    You have an extended family here you can always reach out to. Take care!
  5. Aeronsmom

    Aeronsmom New Member

    that is just to cruel. happy b'day to you...remember WE are your family and don't forget that!

    I just can't believe how many people can just be so ignorant to our DD and NOT want to be more educated on it...I cannot believe they think that fibro is contagious...come on...what are they thinking???

    Love to you kiddo.

    Ann
  6. KarenZee

    KarenZee New Member

    Here's another Happy Birthday wish for you. I would encourage you to protect your physical and mental health by doing your utmost best to ignore others who are thoughtless. I know that it's hurtful when other's are cruel, but don't allow yourself to become depressed about their ignorance.

    Someone else suggested that it's the families loss, and I agree. I do hope that you and your husband do something that you can enjoy together as a way of celebrating your special day.

    Here's every wish for a happy, happy birthday Baanders.

    God bless you!
    Karen
  7. mary124

    mary124 New Member

    Happy Birthday to you----

    I can't believe what they say and think! Their loss of such a fine person - Go out and buy you something nice and treat yourself to something special, whether its dinner out or a movie or whatever!! Just do it! Hope you have a good one!
  8. monkeykat

    monkeykat Member

    Hi,
    Happy Birthday. I just celebrated my b-day Sept 8th with my husband.

    I have also experienced a lot of rejection & abandonment from family, friends, church, etc. since I got ill b/c I got VERY ill and became bedridden 2 years ago with CFS, Fibro, MCS, etc.

    I don't know why people act the way that they do. But I've stopped trying to figure it out. I have found that I cannot control others and their behavior. I can only control my thoughts and my life. So I've worked on forgiving and letting go of my anger and hurt. It's so important to feel the hurt and then let go.

    I have also learned that family is not necessarily people who are related by blood. As the years go on I am building myself a new family slowly but surely. My new family will include people who treat me with respect and care about me. I am finding people like this even outside of this message board. These are the people that I will be intimate with and share my life. You may also have to do this too. It sucks b/c I love my family but I can't make them treat me with love. Neither can you.

    Have a really Happy Birthday. And know that you are not alone in your suffering.

    Love, Monkeykat
  9. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Ahem...... cough, cough....

    Happy birthday to you,

    Happy birthday toooo yoooou,

    Happy birrrrrrrthday dear Baanderrrrrrrs

    Haaaapppyyy birrrrrthday tooo you!

    Tomorrow.

    Marta
  10. kirschbaum26

    kirschbaum26 New Member

    Dear Baanders:

    Happy Birthday! Really, 34 was a good year for me. I was in a great relationship, had a great job, was getting to travel a great deal, had my health (as much as I ever did), and was really enjoying life.

    Friends and Family really just do not know what we go through, unless they have gone through it themselves. There is no way to "convince" them that our ailments are real, not in our heads, and not "contagious". I actually like that one, and may use it the next time a rude relatives wants to come to visit me in Sunny Southern California!

    I am sure you are a very nice person. I wish you would fill in a bit of your profile, so we can tell what you are about and what illnesses you are battling, and some of the things you enjoy doing, or did enjoy doing. Also, would like to know where you live (not the street address, just general area). This board is great...and it is something that we all treasure...as it has become our lifeline.

    Once again, hope you have a great birthday. Do something for yourself. I am sure you deserve it.

    Hugs, and happy birthday wishes being sent your way.

    Ingrid
  11. Redwillow

    Redwillow New Member

    Some of my family has acted pretty weird at times about my condition too. I wish things were different for you. Just remember we are here and we understand!

    Happy Birthday from your Fibro Family!

    hugs Marion (Redwillow)

  12. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Their loss!!!

    Happy Birthday for tomorrow and many more. Love Anne
  13. Lendy5

    Lendy5 New Member

    Hi baanders, I could have written this myself because I am going through exactly what you're going through. It is so painful but I have learned there is nothing I can do about it.

    I try most days not to think about it and focus on my hubby and kids but me and my family were always close. I get by thinking this will all pass but all I can do is pray and wait.

    We are all family here on the boards and it helps to know that we are not alone.

    Wishing you a Happy Birthday!

    carolin
  14. misskoji

    misskoji Member

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    I very much trust you are a nice person! I've had the same reaction with my family. Recently made the decision, with advice of others as well, to avoid them. It doesnt do you any good hun!

    Please try to take it easy and enjoy YOUR day!

    Hugs
    Deanna
  15. crossword

    crossword New Member

    It sure is rotten when it's family. You sound like a very lovely person. I have stopped saying even one word about it. I just kill them with kindness. When they call me on the phone or I call them I always say that I'm just fine. I learned that they don't want to hear it anyway. Lots of Hugs
  16. Geechie

    Geechie New Member

    Well it'll be your birthday here in about a half hour.

    Enjoy the day. Do something to make yourself happy, eat something good, read, listen to music, rent a movie.

    I'm sorry your family is not being very understanding. Families can be a pain sometimes.

    You sound like a nice person to me.
  17. fibrohugslife

    fibrohugslife New Member

    Hey girl,

    I am sorry you extended family is treating you this way, they are absolutely stupid and ridiculous and have obviously not taken the time to do any research.


    Your extended family is RIGHT HERE in this forum, we care about you and you are nice and wonderful person.

    Anyway I wish you the best and a very Happy Birthday!!

  18. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    a very happy birthday. Things seem difficult now, but I do hope that you can enjoy today and look forward to a better future.

    You are the same age of my youngest son...hang in there.

    Sue
  19. mollystwin

    mollystwin New Member

    Happy Birthday to you!!

    From part of your huge extended family here on the message board!!!
  20. shelbo

    shelbo New Member

    You sound like a lovely person and it is surely their loss! I know it's hard but please don't spill anymore tears over this! They are not deserving of you and you are better off without them!
    I will say a prayer for you! Happy birthday! There are many her who care for you ...please, never feel alone!
    Love Shelbo :) XXX