MY BEAUTIFUL SON

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by crafts1234, Jun 13, 2006.

  1. crafts1234

    crafts1234 Member


    My beautiful 31 year old son died Memorial weekend. Five months after he was born his decline into bad health began. He had a stroke and they discovered Diabetes. For the last ten years of his life his pain increased greatly from Diabetic Neuropathy... one time I mentioned to the doctor that I thought he might have CFS, but of course he brushed me off quickly. Now this doctor really supports me with my FIBRO, but he did not want to know about my son having CFS, maybe it was going against his diagnoses.
    Everyone says he is not in pain anymore. I'm having such a difficult time with that, probably because of my belief system. I understand the free will, but I do not understand how this all powerful, all loving GOD does not over-ride the pain and suffering in this world. Thank GOD our doctor gave James whatever he needed for pain and he will do the same for me, but I do not have insurance so I have to be careful about cost.
    All I know is my heart bleeds for my son and people keep asking how am I and why am I crying. It's only been two weeks. I brought him into the world and he died with me trying to help him before the paramedics came. At least he did not die alone. He would also tell me I was the greatest Mom in the world and he loved me so very much..how can I go on with out these words, his smiles when he could.
    Pray for me and my son to make it through this day.
    Mary
  2. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    My heartfelt sympathies go out to you on the death of your son. I am mom of 2 beautiful girls. I know you must be devastated. I can't imagine it. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and may Jesus hold you in His loving arms.

    (((((Gentle healing hugs))))))
    Michelle
  3. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    I'm so sorry about James. He was your son, of course you are grieving. God is with him now, as He is with you to comfort you. Remember his loving words to you about being the greatest Mom in the world and take comfort in them. He wants the best for you, so my prayers are with you today. Love, Terri
  4. puglover29

    puglover29 New Member

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful son, Mary. While he is without pain now, I am sure your pain is very raw. I hope in time your pain lessens and you can begin to remember the wonderful times you had with your son.

    I am very sorry,

    Brenda
  5. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    My deepest sympathy on the loss of your son. I am so sorry.
  6. baanders

    baanders New Member

    I grieve with you. I am praying that God touches your broken heart that is breaking into a million pieces. The Lord sees your pain. Mary watched her son die on a cross. I'm sure she grieved. May this verse comfort you..."to be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord."

    I encourage you to grieve. Get it out. It is a healing process. I do not understand God either sometimes, especially when I hear such sad, sad news like this. This may be the most painful moment of your life. Hold on. Hold on. I know that you can't understand this, but know this one thing. God loves you. God loves you. God loves you.

    Hug yourself. Be good to yourself. You are a very good person. You want to go on. God has so much more in store for you that you don't know about. Maybe you could go outside in your yard to cry. Then you can see the beautiful creation. Can you pray the Rosary or the 23rd Psalm?

    baanders
  7. UnicornK

    UnicornK New Member

    My beautiful son passed away 2 1/2 years ago at age 26. So I know the pain you are in. All I can say is...it will get better. The pain never goes away...you never get over it...but you do get used to it. I just know that if the pain of my loss disappeared, I would be devastated.

    So cry, and know that others cry with you.

    God Bless.

    PS: Google "Compassionate Friends". They are a group of people who have lost children. You can talk to them and they will understand.
  8. JLH

    JLH New Member

    My deepest condolences in the loss of your son. I can not imagine the sorrow that this hole in your heart has caused. I will pray for you. Your son will enjoy eternal life with the Lord.

    Love,
    Janet
  9. gnanny

    gnanny New Member

    What a tragedy. I cant even imagine what you are going through. The absolute worst for sure. I hope you can be at peace knowing you were with him at the end. He thought you were the greatest mom in the world and thats something no one can take away from you.
    I hope the days are not too dark.
    I hope you can feel this warm embrace I send to you.
    my heartfelt sympathy, stephanie
  10. Empower

    Empower New Member

    Mary

    I am so sorry about your son. I lost a son also, so I can feel your pain.

    As someone said, it does get better with time, but there is not a single day that goes by that I don't think of him, and I am sure you will be the same.

    You never forget it, you never get over it, but you do find your own personal way of dealing with it.

    This poem has helped me, and I hope that in some small way, it will help you.....

    Do not stand at my grave and weep
    I am not there, I do not sleep
    I am the silent , soft winds that blow
    I am the gliss on new fallen snow
    I am the Eagle in a high Freedom Flight
    I am the star that lights up your night.

    God took my hand and I followed him home
    Be silent and watch, you are never alone
    I see you, I hear you, I embrace you with love
    This is what I expect from my God above
    I am in your heart, so do not despair!

    Please do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep.
  11. crafts1234

    crafts1234 Member


    Thank you all for your heartfelt sympathies. Yes my heart feels like it is broken in a million pieces, he was such a loving child and man. He had the ability to touch all who suffered and those who did not suffer. He would constantly remind his brother how much pain I was in..forgetting his own which was always much worse. I miss him so very much especially when I first waken up in the morning. I have been sleeping on the recliner for several years because James always got sick in the middle of the night. It soon became to difficult for him to come up the stairs to get me, and the recliner was a small price of discomfort to pay to help him. I'm still there and I look for him looking over the sofa in the am to say morning Momma and I would answer god morning son..I love you. I still talk with him all day long just like he is still here. Again I really appreciate your kind words and to the lady that lost the 26 year old I understand about not having the pain or devestation.
    GOD Bless
    Mary
  12. Figsquare

    Figsquare New Member

    My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.
  13. Empower

    Empower New Member

    And continue to talk to your son, he hears you!
  14. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    that you are going through.I will pray to give you strength during this hard time.Linda
  15. kriket

    kriket New Member



    I will be thinking of you and will keep you in my prayers as you are going through this very difficult time. Many hugs to you. God is with you.


    Kriket
  16. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    Mary,
    How hard it must be to lose a child. I can't even begin to understand what you must be feeling and going through.
    Know that this young man , who brought you much joy and love in to your life has now gone to live with our Heavenly FAther and he is not in any pain now and it a peace .

    I sure that he is watching over you.

    TAke your time to greive, my mom lost my dad over 30 years ago. Someone told her that there are stages of grief.There is anger at the loss of some one you love , it goes on with all of your emotions loss , anger, pain, sadness, just missing him.

    It has been over 30 years andI still remmember my Dad and miss him and wonder what life would have been like had he been in my life instead of passing away when I was but 13 yrs old.

    Remember the good times you have had and treasure the time you had with your son. I know in my heart that he was called home to a place where he is out of pain and is at peace with him self. It will take time for your heart to heal and it will but there will always be a spot missing from your heart .
    My the lord hold you in the hollow of his hand and comfort you at this time .
    HUGS to you,
    Rosemarie
  17. Scapper

    Scapper New Member

    I am so sorry for your tremendous loss! Your son was so fortunate to have such a loving mother like you.

    Please allow yourself to grieve and let your support system help you along the way.

    Loving Prayers, scapper
  18. Jo29

    Jo29 New Member

    My heart is just broken for you. I can't imagine what you are going through. I do believe that you should be able to cry if you want.

    Just because your son is in a better place does not mean that you will not miss him. You are crying because you cannot imagine him being gone and you miss him.

    I will be praying for you and my thoughts are with you.

    Please do not feel guilty for any feelings you are having. No one can tell you how to feel.

    Hugs,

    Jodi

  19. MamaDove

    MamaDove New Member


    I am thinking of you and wishing you the strength to make it through today...

    Please try to think of how James has found PEACE...

    There will come a time when you will think of him and only smile, for now take the time YOU need to grieve...

    I'm not very good with words during these times, but I am an expert on grief unfortunately and from my experience, the only time I smile when recalling memories is because I know they have made the transition that we can only hope we one day experience...

    It's the reason I sign all my posts:

    Peaceful days ahead~Alicia
    Please take care of you...
  20. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Heaven has a new angel. God Bless you and keep you safe.

    I cannot imagine your pain, and those of others who also lost children.

    Time heals wounds but I think the scars always remain, and I pray that you will take comfort in knowing how he loved you and how you loved him. Remember that love and hold it close and know that you will be reunited one day.

    We have a friend who also lost her son Memorial Sunday, a very fit and active man who had a heart attack out of the blue. One never knows.

    Peace.

    Love Anne C