Another year and I'm still as sick as ever. (That's nearly twenty years now) Another year when parents and in-laws who don't give me the time of day normallywill want to phone out of duty and cheerfully wish me a Happy Birthday - I don't want to talk to these people on my birhtday. What should I do? Not pick up the phone...LOL!! I literally cannot bring myself to go along with all these false niceties. My MIL for example knows how sick I am - I wrote her an email to which she did reply nicely about not being able to spend the holidays with them and about how much I had deteriorated. Since then she hasn't bothered even emailing me and says to my husband to relay messages to me for example she loved the gift I bought her for Christmas. Welll if she really cared why didbn't she email me herself and say that!!! According to hubby she hasn't got time - rubbish. They spend most of their day sitting on their backsides watching TV..LOL My own mother will phone and talk about her own life and not my birthdaay - she will not be interested in how I will spend my birthday. She will tell me I am not as ill as so-snd-so and that I have a nice life - yeah right! The one time I offered for her to come and visit for my birthday several years ago but told her she would have to do things my way so I didn't feel pressured and overdo it so I could enjoy my birthday in my own way she said " well I won't come them" Last night hubby and I argued about vacations - his wishes against my wishes. Nice starte for a birthday. It's my 40th NEXT year and my 10th annivesary and seeing as I didn't get the wedding or honeymoorn I dreamed of I said we should make a special effort with next year's vacation. But no because we don't agree on where to go. He wants to go to and do completley different things from me. He took me to Mauritius last year and thinks that makes up for a very modest wedding with family and a few friends (which I wanted to do abroad just me and him) and a honeymoon which was basically a fun holiday and not a honeymoon at all. Well it doesn't make up for that at all. He wants to do things on vacation while I want to relax by a pool near a beach in a nice hotel as that's what makes me feel better. Rambling here, Just not in the birthday mood. Sigh.... PS If this doesn't make sense I am writing it at 4.15 am and feel tired but not sleepy enough to go to bed yet.