my day...wasn't so good. full of PAIN.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by dani78xo, Feb 14, 2006.

  1. dani78xo

    dani78xo New Member

    so yesterday WAS a good day.
    not so good today.

    i went to fourth period at school today,
    the school decided i should do one period a day.

    we have a huge research paper due.
    which includes alot of reading, and alot of going online.
    and ALOT of typing. six to eight pages.
    i don't know how i'm going to get it all done.

    luckily my teachers really easy going.

    i got some really discomforting responses from classmates today.

    they were all wondering why i'd been out for so long
    and why i keep coming back for one or two days,
    then staying out for another week.

    and so on.

    well, i told them.
    first, they reacted as if it was just something you "catch."
    like the flu.

    i told them it wasn't contagious.
    they think it's something like mono.
    i told them it wasn't anything like that.

    people just don't understand :0[.
    i finally just told them its a "chronic pain disorder"
    and left it at that.

    ay. it's difficult having a "invisible" illness/disorder.

    after fourth period my mom took me by kohls
    i get most of my makeup from there.

    and since i've gotten sick i've gotten like twice as light.
    i've got really fair skin now.

    so i needed to get more makeup.

    well, my mom ended up getting pictures too,
    but then the cashier messed it all up.

    so then we spent an extra half an hour JUST trying to figure out the reciept with customer service.

    by the time it was over i felt like i was going to collapse.

    now i'm back home, but every muscle in my body aches.
    it hurts to put my arm on the arm rest.

    i really hate this :0[

    and the rheum. didn't give me anything for pain,
    because the cymbalta "would take care of the pain."

    well not unless i want to live my life as a hermit crab.
    which i don't.

    oh well.
    i have an appt. with the rheum monday,
    so i'm going to see if i can get something for pain.

    i don't want to keep missing school because i'm in too much pain to move.

    i'm determined to not let this illness take hold of me.
    i want to just push past it, but at the same time...

    i know if i go too far, like force myself to go out when i'm already feeling sick...

    i'll only get more sick. and more sick.
    and i JUST got over a spell of migraines.

    jeez, i've only had this illness for about four and a half months...
    and i'm going crazyyyy.

    i can't imagine what some of you guys are feeling :0[

    and i really hate the fact that no matter how much you explain it,
    no one who hasn't experienced this pain will ever really know.

    okay. done with my rant/update.

    i know it's really long :0[
    thank you if you took the time to read this.

  2. claudiaw

    claudiaw New Member

    I'm sorry you had such a hard day.
    I also just say I have chronic pain and that usually helps them to understand a bit.
    They never really "get" it.
    I'm always being asked, "why don't the doctors give you something to cure it"?
    They don't get that the meds can help manange pain, but not cure it.
    If you have muscle pain from tightness, muscle relaxers help some.
    If you also have nerve pain there is a new med called Lyrica ( pregabablin) that does help.
    I had to stop taking it because I felt so drugged up on it.
    I couldn't think straight ( I already have that problem:).
    But it may be worth a try.
    You may have to go through several meds before you find a combination that helps.
    Do you eat good whole food?
    By that I mean staying away from sugar and processed foods as much as possible.
    If you can gentle exercise is good.
    Try not to stress, I know it can be hard with school, but when I stress my pain skyrockets!
    I hope you feel better soon.Take care.
  3. lilchisler

    lilchisler New Member

    Hi Danielle,
    I do not post all the time, but I just had to respond. I read your post and first of all, commend you for trying as hard as you are to go to school, deal with your classmates and this whole newness of the illness.

    I have went through about every stage at one point or another. You are right and everyone here will is hard for people to understand when you have an invisible disease.

    I wrote a poem once titled.."If my wounds were open...". I am going to find it and post it for this board.

    I, like you, began suffering with this illness in my early twenties. I did not know what was happening and it took 20 years to get diagnosed and for me to finally realize that I could not push 100% or produce 100% or always look my best.
    It was always hard for me to tell anyone that I had anything wrong. I hid the illness for many years.

    When I finally did accept what was wrong, I still found it hard to explain something that is different from hour to hour and day to day.

    If I do have to tell someone about my illness, I tell them I have a connective tissue disorder or autoimmune illness and leave it at that.

    The hard truth is that if someone is not going through something personally, they will have a hard time understanding what you are going through.
    That is the great thing about this board, You are among friends and people who can help you...some doing better than you are right now and some suffering much worse....but all have been in your shoes.

    Remember, all you can do is all you can do.

    The mean side of me wants to tell you that the next time some idiot asks you if it is should say, "only to those who ask stupid questions". I am not mean, but for me...I have spent all this time, taking extra care of myself to look better than I feel and when I do take a chance to tell someone that I am having a tough day with this will hear .."but you don't look sick"....I have scars on my tongue from biting it and keeping myself from saying....yea, well, you don't LOOK stupid either."
    That was supposed to make you laugh.
    We are here with you. I am so sorry for your pain at such a young age.
    Sleep is still the best thing you can give yourself. When you are tired and worn out and in pain, you HAVE to find a way to rest.
    Better days to you at Godspeed. "LILCHISLER"
  4. dani78xo

    dani78xo New Member

    thank you for the replies :0]
    yes, i'm glad people on this board understand my aggrivation whereas other people can't.
    thank you guys for the advice, i'll be sure to try some of it.

    and lilchisler, yes, your replies to stupid questions are very amusing and also very tempting :0]

    i love knowing that there's people on this board who really do know what everyone else is going through.

    thank you again.


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