My doc said, 'do you accept your Fibro'? um, I said, no.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by susieque, Jul 31, 2015.

  1. susieque

    susieque Member

    So she looked at me smiling and said, 'I didn't think so'. She had been speaking in tones of giving in, of doing less, of not reaching for those stars, which to me, means giving up. So I'm thinking around this time, hmm, I need a new doc. Luckily for me she is not the doc that takes care of my Fibro, for if she was I would feel like I was on a sinking ship as I have felt many many years before when I would come across this idea that to give in means I would be better off. I have never understood that. My analytical brain cannot equate giving in = doing less = dying dreams = getting better.

    I understand fully the need to accept that I have Fibro to calculate the energy I will need for what I want to accomplish and to plan my days. To know what activities I can do before I go on an outing, be it running errands or a date with my hubby, planning is my key, and dreaming while planning is what keeps me going.

    Are you a planner too?
  2. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Active Member

    I see you've been a member since 2006.......what has been going on with you for 9 years?

    I've had FM for almost 30 plus. It's hard when you're in a flare, but you never can give up, you just have to learn to save your energy. (are you a writer?)
  3. Goldenpuff

    Goldenpuff Member

    A bunch of years ago, after fighting it and fighting it, I gave in. But not to surrender. It was probably more finally accepting it but the outcome was awesome anyway. Every time I tried to face FM down, it reared it's ugly head and showed me who was boss. But once I accepted it, I began to work with it, rather than against it. Didn't change any symptoms but it sure changed life. Worked for me.

    Good luck :)
  4. tamsyn2

    tamsyn2 Member

    I have struggled with the severe limitations imposed by ME/CFS for 15 years. And for many of these years, I too have struggled with this notion of 'acceptance'. I fought and fought for years against being sick, against my diagnosis, against being limited. But as I now understand it, accepting something in life is NOT the same as giving up. Acceptance, to me, means that I am willing to face my life just as it is, without judging it or myself, without liking/disliking, without adding labels, without pretending I can make things different by sheer willpower and non-acceptance. I just face what is, right now, right here. I am willing to be open to it. I am willing to deal with it. Even to embrace it because, let's face it, it's the only life I have, it's MY life, and I want to be present for it in all its pain, struggles or whatever else it brings. Does this mean I have given up? Not at all! I constantly try to care for my health, plan around my energy, etc. But I no longer waste my life-energy on wishing things were different, on wishing I had some ideal version of my own life. If I can say 'yes' to my life just as it is, it frees up a ton of life-energy to move forward from this point. Now, I like to think of my illness like an unexpected guest arriving - one I don't maybe care for so much. But, I am going to ask that guest to sit down at the table and drink tea with me. I am going to accept that it is real, present, and here. I am going to spend time getting to know it because then I will know a lot more about myself. I am going to ask it what it can teach me, what life-lessons it holds, how it can enrich my life. But give up? No way!!