My Ex thinks fibro is a myth

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by collegemom, Mar 21, 2006.

  1. collegemom

    collegemom New Member

    My ex husband claims my fibro is a myth. He doesnt understand this illness and I wanted advice on how to approach this situation. Anyone else been in this situation?

    Any help I can get would be great. I am very upset and need a little bit of love from those who understand.

  2. mbofov

    mbofov Active Member

    I have CFIDS, not FM, but my now ex-husband used to tell me that if I really wanted to do something, I could do it, that I wasn't thinking positively enough. This is one of the reasons he is now my ex-husband.

    I don't waste any energy now on trying to convince him that it's real. I really wish there was a way he could spend a day or even just an hour in my body during a crash, but it's not going to happen.

    I tried to educate him, gave him stuff to read, but he wouldn't even read it. He didn't want to learn.

    You could give your ex some literature if he was open to it. If he was open to it, he could go wtih you to a doctor's appointment.

    But if he's not willing to do either of those, I don't think there's much you can do, and the best thing you can do is take care of yourself and don't waste your energy banging your head against a brick wall. It took me too long to learn this.

  3. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    My husband won't even say the word!

  4. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Before my divorce over this illness, I did try to educate my husband. I bombarded him with literature. He said they were written by quacks.
    When I gave up on him he finally believed I was sick, but said he did not want to spend his life with an ill person.
    Funny thing is: had it been him, I would have taken care of him.
    People certainly act strangely and I wish you the very best of luck with getting your husband to turn around the curve and see what the illness really is. And a great big hug back to you, too.

  5. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    I got nothing intelligent to say- when I get mad my brain goes! And I am mad after reading this!!!!!

    Hand'em over, I'll kick'em where the sun don't shine, then tell them that the pain is all in their heads!

    (I DID say I had nothing intelligent to say!! LOL!)

  6. Windytalker

    Windytalker Member

    We now completely understand why he's your "ex". My "ex" also believes it's a crock...but, what do I care? He's my "ex" and, frankly, he's no longer a part of my life.

    I need more this problem causing visitation problems or is it financial?

    Many people put their heads in the sand regarding our DD. Let them stay there and choke on the sand....
  7. springrose22

    springrose22 New Member

    That's probably why he's your ex. Marie
  8. collegemom

    collegemom New Member

    Its not financial or visitation he is just judgmental and a jerk and doesnt understand when sometimes i am short with him or just not in the mood to be social. Sometimes I need quiet time for me and he thinks I am just being a bitch. My daughter is 13 and can do things for herself but I just need me time with no interruptions and no "mom i need this or that".

    Tracy[This Message was Edited on 03/21/2006]
  9. collegemom

    collegemom New Member

    I appreciate all the support!!!!!!!

    I feel better and will take the advice from all of you smart,kind people. Who cares what my ex says anyway, thats why we are divorced because he is an idiot!

    SWF looking for a sensitive man that understands that even if I am in pain I can still love and have a freaky good time like everyone else!!!!

    Hugs to everyone Tracy
  10. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    that is what my ex-hubusand's name is...anyways...i was trying to understand why you would care to make understand what the fibro is all about?

    i think i understand why you feel you may need to have him get what fibro is al about...

    my ex-hubby used to think i must've been crazy or faking it..but he was the one who was cheating so i was convienant to use as the excuse to wander else where...i said i popped pills..yep i was taking benedryl at night and excedrine or ib profen...

    then the divorce came...he cheated again...he is the one that is bipolar and not getting treatment..i commend you for getting treatment..good girl..

    well if you got divorced maybe your ex-is paying spousal support? mine is to me... and stuiped me said i only wanted it until my son turns 18...i just didn't want to deal with his negative words i was a broken woman and tired...hurting emoitonally and physically...i had his gf tell me to get a job and get off my fat a--...i called to get my son's school book from his dad's i would get verbally abused by the father and stripper gf..i did come back at her and say a few words about her job...and i was far from being fat at all...

    anyways, i thought maybe you were verbally attacked like i was and maybe that was why you felt you needed the ex-to understand...

    i just had mine tell me in january that i needed to get my health better and lose weight...because he was worried he wouldn't know what to do with our son...he was full of it...
    i know what it means to love someone and then be hurt that they use our fibro as an excuse for their own flaws....

    well he needs to take some bp medicine and maybe he won't have a stroke, or take some meds for his bipolar, and how about some alcohol abuse classes..

    well please dont' try to convince him that fibro is real...they may never get it...until they can xray it or find a blood test it still may be hard...

    well i think you have the right idea keep looking for a nice young man if that is what you wishe..


  11. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    To him. Is this man a doctor. Tell him that he was good in bed was a pretty good myth too. That should do it.

    My Dh is so understanding. He really believes in FM and goes to great lengths to help me despite being disabled himself(maybe because of???)

    I am just glad that guy is your EX, which in my book often stands for EXceedingly stupid.

    I wouldn't waste my breath trying to qualify myself to him, put your energies into yourself. Explain to your girl let her read the stuff. There is abook called "FM for Dummies" she could follow as it is written in very simple terms. It is a good book. FM is in the MERCK manual for years now.

    Love Anne C
    [This Message was Edited on 03/22/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 03/22/2006]
  12. Thistledown

    Thistledown New Member

    an unsupportive (pain in the buttocks) spouse, SO, or family member. Tell them if they love you they will be supportive, otherwise tell them to pack it! All they will give you is added stress and suffering. You have tons of support here! The fact that there are so many of us should say SOMETHING! Chin up!
  13. wildflowers2

    wildflowers2 New Member

    Tell him when he has his PHD in something intelligent
    to then talk to you.

    And tell him to eat MORE prunes he seems to have
    constapation of the brain. * laughing* if he has a brain.

    He just wants to rattle your chain. Don't feed into his nonsense.

  14. collegemom

    collegemom New Member

    Thank you all for your lovely advice!!!!!!!!!

    Every one of your responses has put a smile on my face.
    I love this message board and all the kind words.

    I cant thank you guys enough for being my support and friends.

    Lots of Love~Tracy
  15. mme_curie68

    mme_curie68 New Member

    Tell him that if he is truly interested in FM, he should read "Fibromyalgia for Dummies" after throwing himself down a flight of stairs first thing in the morning every day for a month - then he might get an inkling.
  16. collegemom

    collegemom New Member

    Wish i could get away with it!!!!!!!!!
  17. kch64

    kch64 New Member

    He's your ex right? Then why are you worrying about convincing him?


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