My family has turned against me beacause they think I am milking the system

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by willruthie1965, Mar 24, 2009.

  1. willruthie1965

    willruthie1965 New Member

    This is so crazy. I got diagnosed fibro,osteo,r a now found out about the HEmochromotosis. I have a niece and brother in law who said I was faking and trying to get money. Has anyone ever heard of someone messing with a social security disability? Could mean family members mess this up for me? I don't have ssd yet but am so scared. My court date is coming up.

    Anyone with family members who don't believe you,do you want to talk about it here? Thanks Ruthie
  2. dannybex

    dannybex Member

    I know it sounds scary for you right now Ruthie, but the social security folks will listen to your DOCTOR, and take his word over your family's.

    Hemochromatosis could explain almost all of your symptoms. It's also treatable -- at least much more easily than CFS/fibro, etc..

    I think 80% of our families don't understand our illnesses -- it's very common. But it doesn't make it any easier.

    Take care,

  3. RENA0808

    RENA0808 Member

    Concentrate on staying well and getting your ssd.
    Dont tell them anything about when your case is due and just stay positive.

    We all have family members who do not believe how ill we are.It is so upsetting but we have to let it go and get on with living our lives the best we can.

    I understand what you are going through.Good luck with your ssd.

  4. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    They have nothing to do with SS or SSD. It goes by docs and your diagnosed illness.

    Families are sometimes the thorn in our sides. After all you will be getting such big bucks. Print off some letters there are good ones here info for them.

    dont worry there just being butt heads(sorry not happy with my family today and in a flare)
  5. justmestephd

    justmestephd New Member


    Don't worry about what your family thinks. My lawyer told me that she doesn't bring family members in unless the person can't talk for themselves. She told me they usually don't allow family members in they have to wait outside.

    I sure hope you win your case. I know how it feels trust me I waited 4 years and just won mine a month ago. Good luck to you!
  6. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    One great thing about SS, no family member can just call them up and discuss your case. They will not speak to anyone but you without your express permission. Like if you wanted your mother to speak to them for you, she would have to have a note from you on file that she could speak to them for you, and even then, sometimes they won't do it unless they ask you on the phone first.

    If your family members do not show up for your court date, you should be fine. If you have a lawyer, ask if he can see about not allowing them into court.
  7. willruthie1965

    willruthie1965 New Member

    This whole thing started with a niece of mine,who's own mother already has broken all ties with my family. She started trouble with me and I couldn't handle the yelling and then she started making remarks about my illness. Fast forward 5 month. My 84 yr old dad is moving to Florida because of this they are all blaming me for him moving away. I begged him to stay but once his mind was made up, I started looking for crime statistics for the area. I am having severe panice attacks because of this fight. I have gotten 3 nasty letters from family members and all acusing me of talking my dad into this move but also being a fake about my illness.

    I don't know why I fall apart when things happen. I fear them coming over to confront me or just sit around making up,even more lies. I have no confidence. Thanks for all the support. Ruthie
  8. shari1677

    shari1677 New Member

    I'm 41 and a single mom of a 14 YO girl. I have fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis and clinical depression. I'm fortunate enough to have a job working at home, but even that is a feat in and of itself sometimes. Work seems to take all of my energy.

    ANYWAY - my mother and my ex-best friend don't believe me. The rest of my friends and even my ex-husband believe me.

    HOWEVER - Should I go on disability, if I don't make enough, I don't know where I would live. Rent, etc, is pretty steep around here. I would probably end up living in some slum and I would maybe have to give up my car. I'm also worried about MEDICINE. I have a friend who just went on disability and she has to pay CASH for all of her meds because medical benefits haven't kicked in it. I would NOT be able to afford that.

    My mom seems to think I won't have a problem working another 30 years until I retire - but everyone else I know, including myself, beg to differ.

    I'm scared to death.

    BTW - I don't know of anyone who could mess up your SSD.
  9. willruthie1965

    willruthie1965 New Member

    Sorry about your situation. There is help for meds.I went to a free clinic for all my doctors and they help me get free meds. I close myself off because of this illness and I need to reach out moe often. I know how horrible it feels to be so sick and then on top your own mother not believing you. Take care I believe you. Ruthie
  10. sydneysider

    sydneysider Member

    Sorry that you are going through this. It's quite amasing that our families take such an extreme stand against us. They are not doctors, phsychologists, or mind readers.

    I think we may do best by focusing on our own issues, and puting our own wellbeing in front of everything else.

    Perhaps you could return their mail unopened if it is so upsetting for you.

    Good luck with ssd
  11. pitoune

    pitoune New Member

    I have found thru the years that family are the worse one to talk about your medical problems cause they never believe you. One of my sister also has Fibro so my family didn't have much of a choice in believing in it but my hubby's family can be so rude about it and making me feel like I was nothing.

    Just make sure they are not allowed in the court room when you go. There should only be you, your doctor(s) and your lawyer in there, not family members and even if they are there, they are not allowed to talk anyways.

    Good luck in getting your SSD hon.