My family is in distress

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by afeni, Mar 2, 2003.

  1. afeni

    afeni New Member

    I am a 34 yr old woman who is wife and mother and poet. And I have fms/mfs . I have three children. My 15 yr old, has fms/mps. she was diagnosed last summer. She is suffering at school and at home. Nobody will give her meds that actually help her. she rebells against all the things I try to teach her. She follows me around complaing about every single pain in her body , she uses her illness sometimes to get out of helping around the house, but always manages to find energy to go places with her friends.
    Next is my 12 yr old. She doesn't sleep at night. Her grades have gone from a's to d's and f's. She flips out into these rages to total despondancey. she has asthma, exema and she is so very depressed. She has been showing signs that she might be joining my other daughter in this harsh journey. My husband works two fulltime jobs, so he isn't around much. When he isn't around , it can be a problem because he is impatient with us . and I think that he feels like what he doesn't know, it isn't real. I know he loves us in his way, but he leaves all the medical isses on my shoulders. He doesn't do much more than drive us to appointments. They spend alot of time yelling at each other and trying to make me fix everything. I spend alot of time talking to schools and docters and my family . trying to help them get them to see others point of view. My health has done a nosedive and there isn't even a support group where i live. I've screamed yelled , begged and pleaded. I've asked my husband to go to family counsling. He said that he wasn't the one with the problem, so he didn,t need a shrink. I don't know what to do. I can't sleep, even when I'm taking flexeril and pamelor. I've been at this stae fo emergancy for a strait year now. My grandmother and cousin just passed away and because of bills, I couldn't even be there. don't know how to go on. I am so very tired . Is there anyone out there how can relate. If not, could someone pray for my family?
  2. Lendi

    Lendi New Member

    how you must be feeling. I have enough trouble just taking care of myself, let alone other ill people. It does sound like some family counseling might be helpful. If your husband won't go, take your children and go by yourself. A counselor may be able to give you the tools necessary to work with in helping the whole situation. My prayers are with you and your family. Soft hugs, Lendi
  3. healing

    healing New Member

    my heart goes out to you. teenagers are enough trouble on their own without all the other stuff added in.

    have you tried to get your husband to go with you to your doctor's? I begged my husband to go with me to see my rheumatologist. he now has a real appreciation for the pain i live with and he has picked up a lot more of the work around the house. he is now much more patient with my requests for massages, and tolerant of the money we spend to treat my diseases. he knows it's not all in my head.

    maybe your doc would meet with your whole family? I agree that counselling might help, too. one thing that can help with teenagers is just to leave info lying around. they'll pick it up when you're not looking, especially if you don't demand that they read it.

    above all, remember to take care of yourself as much as you can. unfortunately, it's always Mom who sets the tone for the family. if you don't take care of yourself, then your daughters will have no role model for taking care of themselves.

    I sincerely hope things get better....
  4. Debgene56

    Debgene56 New Member

    I am a week into this site and have not revealed this stuff yet. First I have the fm and cfids and tmj and yeast overgrowth and have been very sick for over 2 years. My family has struggled so much too. My 21 year old daughter has the fm and is sick all the time. My 14 year old son is a joy, sweet and loving and a gentle soul, and smart as they come. But he flunked out in 7th and tried to make it up in 8th and didn't and now is flunking out of eight, I think he struggles with depression was on meds in 7th but resented it. Got off of them and did better. He does seem to react in the fall and winter. I beleive he reacts to my 12 year olds behavior and watches him get away with too much. My 12 year old son is a joy when and if he gets his own way. He dosen't often enough, so you can just imagine. He has oppositional defiance disorder and adhd. No meds, but I put him in a behavioral class last, had no choice, I had to. I was living at the school. My husband tries to understand, but were not close anymore. And he is so tired trying to make enough money, cause we need a 2 iincome family. I have been unable to work, as much as I would love to!!!!!

    Evey one has to be sick of me saying please behave cause Mom don't feel good. I am I am truly sick of saying it. I have been in a major flare, and I have terrible stomache problems. Today my stomache has brought me to a level I have never known and I am really sick. But I had to write.

    I started going to counciling about 9 months ago. I found a really great sweet and kind and nurturing woman. She has made such a difference for my mental mind. I do it as a present to myself. Please look into it!!!!!!When Mom falls apart the whole family falls apart. They don't understand and they react to it. When they have medical problems to they tend to exasperbate thier problems when reacting to the stress of the family. I have felt so terribly alone for so long now. I am so grateful for this site. Please get counciling and if you want to write privately, fell free. Debgene56@aol.com. I can truly relate and I will do anything I can to help you make it thru this. Yes I am still struggling greatly but there is hope. Remember that word and please don't ever give up. I will pray for you tonight. Love and hugs, Deb
  5. selma

    selma New Member

    I know of a place that can also help.
    Please, go to the Worship Board.
    I'm praying for you. Love and hugs, Selma
  6. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Wow, what a heavy load you have to carry. I will surely be praying for you and your family.
    You are most welcome to go to our Worship board for prayer, all are welcome there.

    Glad to have you join us, and hope things do get better for you soon.

    Welcome to our group, and God's blessings going out to you.

    Shalom, Shirl