My fibro and my husband

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by dolfenn43, Feb 4, 2006.

  1. dolfenn43

    dolfenn43 New Member

    Hello, its been a long time since ive been in here. .

    I was woundering if anybody has problems with there husbands or partners with the fact that you are taking pain meds everyday. Im sure not everyone takes medication. I do and I and I need to take them everyday. If I didnt have medication I dont know how id cope with this pain all the time. He sees I struggle even moving around in bed at times. But I know Im not the same person I was b-4 this happened. It was and is hard to except having fibro. I dont think Im making any since. But if anyone out there is experiencing this kind of thing or have any feedback Id love it.

    dolfenn43
  2. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i dont think that wasd the only reason for it..but he has his issues as well...infedility on his part...but he would mention how i popped pills all the time..these are truly just excuses in my book and they were in his to justify what he was doing...

    so don't let it bother you that you need to take yur meds...tell him if he needed them you wouldn't say antyhing and if he was diabetic and needed insulin would that make him a druggie...

    jodie
  3. mrstj

    mrstj New Member

    i have been married 14 years..i have had health problems for the past 10 including fibro..postural ortho tachy syndrome..degenerative disc disease..autonomic nervous system dysfunction..and more..if not for my husband i'm not sure i could of made it through the past 10 years..i do feel sorry for him having to put up with me..we lost everything last year due to doctors putting me on disability..we had to file bankruptcy..i am one of the lucky few who truely have a husband who married me for better or worse..and sickness or health..he is actually remodeling a house making it handicap accessable now so that in the future he can take care of me if need be..i am very grateful to him..there are good men out there..good luck..hugs
  4. bettydroop

    bettydroop New Member

    HI
    I know EXACTLT what you are going thru, almost could have written this myself.

    I am NOT the same person now as I was, I WISH I had a husband that loved me for better or worse, sick or whatever.I know it been hard on him but NOT nearly as hard as what I have/ had to deal with.

    HE started "talking to a friend" on the internet - I guess its been going on for years- didnt know it. I truely thought that he would be the LAST person... blah blah, you know the rest... he was the ONLY person I truely trusted and I remember thinking to myself that if he EVER did anything like that I would NEVER be able to trust anyone . thats how much I trusted him. Well I guess men are men. I always told people that there ARE good men out there and I was a lucky gal and now look. SO>>>> I am SO SHOCKED and rattled to the bone. Was never UN trusting when it came to men because I was always treated nicely. Anyway, now I just dont know. I think all men are the same- I really never thought I would say that either! He even lied and lied right to my face and then I found out things( I will spare the details) and he HAD to admit it! That makes it WORSE!

    I do understand you and what you are going thru and I think about it all the time and mourn for how it "used" to be. Sometimes I want to tell him how he just gave up on me. YA know??

    He hasnt really said much about the meds I take I think its more the situation of me not doing what I used to around here and stuff. I used to be on top of all things and runnin around and crap and now I just FEEL like crap.

    How does he show you he is not happy with the way things are going with you?~~ You have a SAFE place here to vent if you need to - of course you know that- so I am lending an ear. OK??

    Karen.

  5. Sheila1366

    Sheila1366 New Member

    It hurts when the ones closest to us can't be as supportive as we would like them to be.I am sure when your husband looks at you he just can't imagine that you could be in that kind of pain without being in the hospital or confined to your bed.People have this idea that if you are up and about,smiling,doing things your normally do means that you are ok.I know when my FM was so bad this past summer,fall and winter...I was taking pain meds. 3 times a day.They didn't really help but I kept hoping that the next dose would work so I kept taking them.Now I rarely take them.I guess I have gotten use to the pain now.Well, no, you never get use to this kind of pain.Never.You do what you have to do to get through each day.One thing I have learned to do with my husband and family is I just don;t talk about it anymore.It hurts more when I get little or no sympathy from them.You come talk to us and I am sure that your husband will come around sooner or later.Take him with you to the dr. next time you go and have dr, explain what FM is all about and the chronic pain that comes along with.

    Take care,
    Sheila
  6. dolfenn43

    dolfenn43 New Member

    my husband has been none responsive to me for 1 yr. now. Ive also gained 50# since this started. He has told me that he wants me to lose weight. Basically he is not attracted to me. Then all that brings on resentments etc...And with the medication on top of this its been like we are just living together barely friends.
    We need help
    Dolfenn43
  7. joanng

    joanng New Member

    My husband has NO problem with my pain meds, he LOVES them to the point where I ALWAYS run out before my next visit for a refill. My legs are killing me right now and I have no more of my breakthrough meds because he was taking 8-10 a day....he says he has pain in his back and needs them too and gets his own script from a dr but "eats" them in a week too.....I go to the dr's on Monday and I'm going to have to hide them from now on.....
  8. bettydroop

    bettydroop New Member

    EXACTLTY!!! I was thinking that the other day. Its like we are roomates and we jsut pass each other say hello and all that but thats about it. No more intamacy and all that entails. Its just so weird to be in a position like this from the way we used to be with each other. I hate it so much. He wont even hold my hand in public, when we go to a school function or something, he walks ahead of me, not with me, and its like he doesnt even know me or something.
  9. bettydroop

    bettydroop New Member

    WOW!I think I would go irrate!!

    Does he know what hes doing to you??? He needs to go back to the Doc and tell them that he needs his pain meds bumped .
    If that doesnt work... can you find a real good hiding place?? LOL.
  10. Hope4Sofia

    Hope4Sofia New Member

    Have you tried therapy? Is he open to that sort of thing? Don't give up on him the way that you feel he's given up on you. You are both processing this - allbeit differently.

    I know I have felt a certain disconnect with my husband when I bring up the FM as well but I know he loves me. I think I want something from him that he (or anyone else without FM)can't give. Real understanding. I want him to combe the internet looking for cures and info. I want him to ask me how I am all day long and baby me. He won't because he doesn't have the constant reminder that we have.

    I do much better when I let go of my resentment and look for the love that he truly does feel for me. And he shows me in so many other ways.

    Warm hugs,
    Sofia
  11. ckzim

    ckzim New Member

    I'm relating to ya, My husband is doing the same thing.
    Talk about me going blistick! I thought I was going to loose it. He simply won't go to the doctor for his pain.
    I litterly have to lock mine up,(desk drawer with a key)
    Which makes me twice as angry cause my fingers get so fumblesome, and bending down hurts. Then the stress of hiding it from the doctor. Husband did see what happens to me when I don't get my pain med, I don't know if it helped, but between the two, he has stopped. But now I hear day in and day out about HIS much more worse pain than mine.
    I stand firm...Get Your Own!